Marriage vows cover a lot of ground. Sickness and health, richer or poorer, till the Grim Reaper tears us apart. What they leave out is the fine print about secretly emptying the joint account or deciding the family dog should go to a shelter without telling anyone. A lot of scorned women are flocking online to compare notes on the exact moment the vows stopped applying.
A few viral threads asked wives to share the thing that made them call a lawyer, and the answers go far beyond dirty socks on the floor. Some stories are the final straw after years of smaller ones. Others are the first and only straw, coming from an oblivious narcissist who thought their actions were completely fine. Grab a drink, and maybe call your mom afterward.
#21
I was sharing how devastating it still is that my sister was m******d by a serial k**ler years prior and the damage it did to my family. My ex said, "You just need to get over it". Needless to say, I immediately 'just got over' him!
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40points
Some entries in this kind of thread go far beyond bad habits. The CDC's national survey on intimate partner violence estimates that about one in four US women has experienced severe physical violence from a partner at some point in her life. Control can also happen without any violence. Sociologist Evan Stark coined the term "coercive control" in 2007 for a pattern of monitoring, isolating, and restricting a partner's money and movements. England and Wales made it a crime in 2015, with a maximum sentence of five years in prison.
#22
He cracked my back for me… It’s was so good I was still for a moment. He immediately started getting his s**t to leave. When asked why it was because he thought he k****d me. His first instinct was to LEAVE.
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39points
#23
I had a boyfriend who worked in the same office as me and one time the fire alarm went off (not a drill) and he literally ran past me, didn’t acknowledge me after looking right at me, wiggled his way infront of a bunch of other people (including older) people and ran down the stairwell. This was the most ick inducing F you I’ve ever seen. I knew so badly in that moment what i was dealing with.
39points
#24
We were at a wedding. I couldn’t find my purse. He was talking to someone and I asked him did you see my purse. He said ya, it’s over there. When I walked away I heard him say that should keep her busy.
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38points
So when do these women finally file? Julie Brines and Brian Serafini at the University of Washington studied divorce filings in Washington State from 2001 to 2015 and found two spikes every year, in March and August. Their explanation was that couples hold out through the winter holidays and the summer vacation, hoping for a fresh start, and file once the season is over.
Afterward, most people do better than they expected. Psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington followed about 1,400 families for 30 years and found that most divorced adults adjusted within a few years, and many came out more confident than before. The First Wives Club put it more bluntly in 1996: "Don't get mad, get everything."
#25
My ex left me in the hospital after I almost d**d birthing our son and was in the icu because grand theft auto San Andreas was was being released at midnight.
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37points
#26
He got mad at me because I was in pain from the medicine wearing off after emergency wisdom tooth removal. Something about being in pain and having the person who is supposed to love and care for you treat you terribly just feels difference. Its a different kind of evil because you are vunerable. My current person made soup for my mom when she was sick when we weren’t even officially dating!
37points
#27
I was 36 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child. Husband knew I had an OB appointment that day. Dr. checked me and I was 5 cm dilated and was convinced that I would have the baby in the next 24 hours. I tried calling my husband 5 times to let him know. He didn't answer and never called me back to make sure I wasn't having the baby! He came home from work 5 hours later and seemed annoyed that I was so hurt by his behavior. We are no longer married.
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35points
#28
This reminds me of when I finally made the decision to divorce.. the final straw was when hurricane Maria came to Florida.. I was so scared, preparing my home, taking our dogs to shelters, trying to decide to evacuate or not.. I had a baby. I really thought I was going to lose my home.. as I was packing our stuff, my babies stuff, making sure everything in the home secured.. the only thing he was worry about and the only thing he grabbed as we were leaving to the shelter was his TV and his PlayStation!!!!! I looked around.. all my neighbors.. men.. were taking their wives and kids out to safe, their were all working making sure their houses were prepared for impact, they were helping others … and my loser husband was worry about a PlayStation!!! It was so embarrassing!! … after there experience I finally filed for divorce.. I just couldn’t deal with that Pete Pan anymore!! Best decision ever!!!
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34points
#29
night after my hysterectomy, my ex husband decided he was going to sleep in the back bedroom and leave me alone, fresh from surgery. I was also on blood thinners due to clotting disorder. he left me alone that night without water, without pain meds, without anything. I crawled to the kitchen on my hands and knees to get my meds. slept at the kitchen table. he didn't check on me all night. came out around 9 am.
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33points
#30
My ex SOBBED and collapsed when we came home from the hospital with our first born baby because HE “was so exhausted and overwhelmed”. I should have known then.
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33points
#31
There were many reasons, but this is a solid one: he was pissed at me during a Durham Bulls baseball game. When it was over, he took my phone and gave me a dollar to figure out the bus system. At this point, it was near midnight in downtown Durham, and I was left with a dollar and no phone to get myself home! I was sobbing and petrified!
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33points
#32
We were hearing loud noises coming from our basement, he made me go down the stairs first. A few months later we took our kids to Disney, in the parking lot there was a women unconscious in between 2 cars. He said just leave her! I refused and called an ambulance.
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33points
#33
There was a major hurricane approaching, he said he had to run to his parents house really quick and he’d come back for me and our pets. He didn’t come back, our house flooded up to the second floor.
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31points
#34
He went to a bachelor party when I was very pregnant and sick with strep and a sinus infection and a teething toddler. Came home about 3 o’clock in the morning and said - Oh should I not have gone?
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31points
#35
My car was run off the road and when I called my ex he asked if the car was all right. Got to my office and immediately called a lawyer.
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31points
#36
He didn’t get up from his computer when I came downstairs crying after learning my dad was d***g of cancer.
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30points
#37
Mine was, on our first date, we were playing chasing each other in a park at night. And i had this gut wrenching feeling to look back while running. His smile and eyes were not it, they looked predatory. Idk man my heart was sinking and i just kept running faster and hid somewhere. He kept calling saying "come out baby girl" something along those lines. I didn't come out till dawn. I asked some passing stranger to call a cab to my mom's house and ghosted him. 3 months later i found out he was arrested for m****r and sa. I'll never forget that day, it made me never doubt my intuition.
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30points
#38
We weren’t married but when I was in labor with our daughter my contractions were so bad and painful I was having diarrhea bc I couldn’t help it. Instead of helping me he just couldn’t stop saying how gross and disgusting it was that it happened. I got up out of the bed mid contraction and helped myself. That’s when I knew.
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30points
#39
I crashed my bike and as my black eye started swelling up instead of suggesting ice or the ER he wanted to video tape me saying he didn’t punch me…
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30points
#40
My ex and I were on a beach in St. Thomas. He saw a huge snake under my chair and ran about 20 feet away, then yelled back that there was a snake under my seat. Years later, I had surgery for ovarian cancer. During the discharge process from the hospital, we were told I couldn’t be left alone for 48 hours in case I started hemorrhaging. He brought me home and left to go buy a new car. He was gone for five hours.
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30points
