30 “Crazy” Ex-Girlfriends Share Their Side Of The Story

Naturally, there are two sides to the story in every break-up. And nobody likes to feel like they’re the villain. So some people tend to brand their exes as ‘crazy’ whenever they talk about them to their friends and family.

That way, the responsibility is off their shoulders—they’re the victim in all of this!—and there’s a clear target for all the things that went so very wrong. It takes a lot of introspection and maturity to admit that nobody’s perfect and that both parties are usually to blame. In some cases, however… there’s clearly one person who was the toxic one. And anyone can be toxic, no matter their gender.

Bored Panda previously reached out to British psychotherapist Silva Neves to hear his thoughts on toxicity, specifically about toxic masculinity in the modern world.

The mental health specialist explained that toxic masculinity is a collection of negative attitudes that are perpetuated by systemic misogyny. What’s more, a set of distorted ideas about what men ‘should’ be like feeds into this. In short, the ideas that men should never appear to be weak or soft, that they shouldn’t ever show vulnerability, and that they always have to be winners can have negative effects both on men, as well as the people around them.

“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” the psychotherapist shared.

“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” he said.

For psychotherapist Silva, healthy masculinity means embracing “gender, sex, and relationship diversities including gay men and transgender people.” He said: “Someone who is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”

The expert sees toxic masculinity as dangerous. “Those men can be emotionally abusive and/or physically violent and sexually violent to women,” he warned.

“They can also be aggressive to gay people. They perpetuate toxic messages of masculinity so toxic masculinity is usually passed down to their children and peers maintaining the problems. “Toxic masculinity also harms the men themselves because repressing their own emotions so much can lead to mental health issues, depression, and even suicide. Toxic masculinity harms everybody.”