“Time Clock Thievery”: 30 People Recall The Craziest Things HR Has Accused Them Of At Work

I had an employer of mine write me up for stealing trash. In reality, at the end of my shift, one of my duties was to gather all the trash. Often times, I would pick through the trash and sort all the paper, pop cans, and water bottles in our company's recycle bin. We had a special promotion with our trash company in which our company would get money based on the number of pounds we recycled. It ended up being $1500 per month AND we didn't pay our trash bill.

So long story short, I got a final write up for stealing company time for sorting our recyclables. So I stopped, the following month, our manager was pissed that she had to pay a trash bill. She called the trash company and the company told her that the past 2 years she didn't pay for trash because our company would recycle so much, we would get a $1500 check AND free trash service.

My boss thought that the checks were a bonus for her. Anyhow, the district manager was reviewing the write ups and saw I got written up for stealing trash, so he called me up and asked me what was going on. I told him the story about the trash company and their promotion. He congratulated me for a job well done.

The next day he flew in to talk to my manager. He asked my manager what happened to the $20,000 that she got from the trash company. Apparently, she tried to pin it back on me, and our district manager promptly fired her. After escorting her out, he called me into the office. He told me what happened in that meeting, and offered me a promotion to Assistant Manager.

I worked in retail as a cashier at a pet store for a long time, and occasionally when there was nothing going on I would just grab a couple tennis balls and juggle them to keep myself amused. I'm pretty good at it, can do 3 in all sorts of weird ways without looking at it or thinking about it so I converse with customers perfectly normally when I need to, and most of them find it funny (if I didnt think they would I'd stop before they even made it close to conversation range, and I'd done it long enough that I was a pretty good judge of that kind of thing).

Cue a day such as that, I'm bored and juggling while I watch the front door. Family comes in with little kids, they laugh at the juggling and come talk to me for a little while about reptiles (and juggling) while I try to teach one of their sons (5 or 6 years old) how to juggle because he asked me to. Good times were had by all, they walk off and do their shopping with their little son trying to juggle the mini tennis balls I gave him.

Immediately get called into the back by the assistant manager who (with another manager present as a witness I guess) decides he's going to rip me a new one for being disrespectful to the customers by juggling and not giving them my full attention. I respectfully (perhaps sarcastically, no promises) disagree, and when he looks to the other manager in the room to back him up you could just tell the guy was completely uninterested in getting involved, and he basically had nothing bad to say. Assistant manager continues to lay into me a bit more, says he's going to work with me on not being disrespectful like that and if it continued we'd have to have a talk about my employment, I leave.

Month later, new store manager gets hired, walks to the front with the assistant manager and sees me juggling. Assistant manager gets the look like he's about to rip me a new one, but the store manager laughs, compliments me on my juggling, goes and grabs his own tennis balls and starts juggling too. Ah man, the look on the assistant managers face...priceless.

Several years ago, I was working for a sporting good store as the customer service desk guy. Mostly what I did was returns and some spcial stuff with Ticketmaster and hunting/fishing licenses. While it wasn't a glamorous job, I liked it because I'm an outdoors guy, and so the clientel were fun to talk to. One day, we were informed we were getting a new general manager, as the old one (decent guy, but distant) was being transferred. The new manager was a raving harpy a*****e c*ntrash. She enjoyed making employees upset, didn't give a flying f**k about our customers, did nothing to improve anything about the store, and kept the other managers in her office with endless meetings about "improving" the store. After a few months of this b******t, and seeing some of the highschool girls hired to work in shoes crying after her ranting at them, I had enough. I wrote a rather eloquent letter to corporate about her behavior and actions, and had several employees sign it. Two days later, several regional higher-ups arrived, and proceeded to chew her out big time. She was suspended for two weeks, and told that if the store didn't improve withing the next quarter, she'd be fired.

But that's just the beginning of the story, dear reader. I thought I had won. But no, I had not. Apparently, she found out it was me who wrote the letter (probably got told by one of the other employees, I'm not sure) and wanted revenge. So she got into the computer system, and started to fake records showing I had been selling gift cards to myself, pocketing the cash difference, and then buying merchandise with those cards (mostly candy/pop/small stuff, which she was probably pocketing since our counts weren't ever off)

She then called in loss prevention, who weren't doing their jobs too well, because they didn't look closely at the files and their "last edited" dates (Yay for WinNT Office!!) because they believed it and called in the county sheriffs. Two deputies came, looked over the evidence (to their credit, they asked "Are you sure?" and "Can you explain this?" several times, and I got the feeling hey were unsure about the whole mess. Nice guys, too, they offered to take me out through the back instead o parading me past customers, let me have a cigarette before we left, and were generally courteous and respectful) and ended up arresting me on felony theft charges. Taken to jail, booked, the whole she-bang. I was in tears for pretty much three days. But I knew this was b******t, so I go my parents to help hire a lawyer for me. Told him the whole story, and said under no circumstance were we pleading out to anything. He said ok, and set up a meeting with the DA to talk about motions and such. When we arrived, the DA was all smiles and very polite. He informed me that the paperwork wasn't quite done yet, but that they were dropping all charges, and filing False Report charges against my old manager. The investigators had looked over the evidence, and found that A) the files for almost 3 months worth of "thefts" had all been edited on two days, both of which I had not been present for, but that she had, B) they had all been edited from her computer, a computer I did not have access too, and C) several of the "thefts" occured on days when I was in the system as being out of state on vacation.

I felt a lot happier after that, and felt even better when my ex-boss was found to have fled the state, and checked herself into a mental hospital for a "nervous breakdown." She was eventually brought back, charged, and convicted. Last I saw she was an assistant manager at a gas station, while I'm now a federal firefighter and in school to become a police officer (and will make damn sure I read over every bit of evidence put in front of me). It's only after I saw her pumping gas that I could claim victory over her.

**EDIT:** Bestof'd? Aww shucks guys, twernt nuthin'.

I went to HR to report that my team's manager was illegally shorting all of our paychecks. HR's response was to adopt a new, company-wide policy addressing the paycheck issue and back-paying most people for a certain amount, and also to frame me for work avoidance. HR and IT disabled part of my login account to a tool we used, and then fired me a few months later after failing to fix the problem and allowing me to actually do my job.

They tried to deny my unemployment claim afterward. Told the unemployment rep that they "had logs" showing that I did something to break the tool I don't even have access to break in the first place. They also didn't think to disable my email access in a timely manner, so I was able to back up all my emails with IT documenting exactly what went down. Unemployment approved my claim and hit them with a major penalty to their insurance.

an anesthesiologist i worked with refused to keep his mask on at the end of a surgery, even tho it’s required to keep the room sterile in case we would need to reopen, emergently.

i asked him again to put his mask back on and he hit my arm. i got in his face about it and told him to never touch me or anyone else again.

i wrote an incident report which went ignored. and followed up with HR. HR lady replied, “well, what do you want me to do about it?” after i relayed what happened. i replied, “your job” and then silence from her.

never had a good experience from HR.

the as**ole anesthesiologist finally got fired after 5 more nurses came forward saying he hit them, as well.

I'm on a diet that requires me to drink a metric s**t ton of water (shout out to my friends over at r/keto!) so I carry around a 1L Nalgine bottle at all times.

I'm a mid-level manager at a 60 person company. At the end of the work day, on my way out I pass the water cooler and fill my bottle up for the commute home. Yesterday I was doing just that when our office manager walked up and said the following: "You're leaving for the day, water is for employee's to drink when they are working in the office only" I laughed it off, finished filling my bottle and headed home.

I thought she was kidding, or at the very worst having a s**tty day and lashing out, she wasn't. Today I get into the office with an email from her to myself, my boss (our CEO/founder), and our HR person saying that I am stealing from the company, that I didn't stop filling my water bottle and immediately apologize when confronted, and that she is officially reporting this behavior and asking to have it documented.

Needless to say we all had a pretty good laugh about it, my boss called me in hysterics and could barely form a sentence he was laughing so hard, and someone wrote "Is proper hydration good for the company?" on my water bottle. Our office manager, however is just walking by my office and glaring this morning.

TL/DR I'm the Daniel Ocean of our office watercooler.

HR ordered me to downgrade my three excellent employee reviews to satisfactory because management didn’t recognize their names. I got written up for telling my employees this.

HR denied that they told me anything, even though I had the emails from them documenting it.

Totally worth it. My employees were excellent and got the raises they deserved.

We got a "Confidential Employee Survey" handed to us at work. It had our employee number on the top of the page

Back when I was in high school, I worked for my town's parks dept. One time, my boss (who was a total sleazeball who sexually harassed every girl there, and hated me mostly for not being female) calls me in to his office. While there, he accuses me of stealing a $3 check, and then says that I have to be let go. I tell him point-blank that if I was to steal from the dept, it would be something a lot more than a measly 3 dollar check (what the hell would I do with that anyway?). Later on, I find out from a friend of mine that he found the check underneath his desk, and then a month later someone finally reported him for harassment and he got fired too. Karma's a b***h yo.

Last night my manager called me stupid and uneducated for not cheating a customer out of fifteen dollars due to a computer error. She thought it was obvious I should lie about the error and garner another whopping 15 dollars for the struggling hospitality industry. Today I go in for a meeting to get scolded for not lying, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to burst into tears.

Work as an editor in television. Did a series for a production company and was told many times by the big bosses how wonderful my storytelling was. After the show ended they asked me to stay and help edit some shows they had been doing for years.

Day one of the new gig the show's producer asks me what I think about the new show.

"Honest opinion?" I ask.
"Of course" she says.
"It's too slow, every episode feels the same and I learn nothing about the subject matter. With a little massaging we could make it a much more interesting show," I reply.

Fired two weeks later because my "editorial pacing" is off. I can't prove it but I know that b***h producer whined about me bagging on her precious show. One of the heads of the company actually had tears in her eyes when she let me go because I was giving her a WTF look the whole time.

Silver lining: next gig doubled my salary and got me an Emmy for editing! Suck it b***h!

I worked in a souvenir shop at an amusement park. It was the fourth of July, one of the busiest days because of the park's fireworks show. We were also understaffed.

The shop was just inside the gate, so it would get swamped just before closing, as people bought the stuff they didn't want to walk around with all day.

I was left alone in the shop just before closing time running the cash register as people flowed in. It was utter chaos. While closing out the register that night, it was noticed that a large stuffed animal had been stolen.
The manager simply could not fathom that one person manning a swamped store can't prevent theft because not all the displays are within sight of the register. I think it must have been a team effort, with one or two people getting my attention in one area while the other walked off with the toy, but I didn't say that because I really didn't know when or how it happened. Bastard accused me of being in on it and looking the other way while a friend stole it so we could profit later. I didn't even know what to say.

I was 17, it was my first job, and I cried for days under the assumption that every job I'd ever hold would be like that one.

"Time clock thievery..." while doing volunteer work.

EDIT for details: It was a simple volunteer gig, no major organization and nobody was keeping track of hours for anything, and it was not court mandated. We were cleaning up at the end of the day and I answered a phone call... The supervisor got all pissed and "Get off the phone! That's time clock thievery!".

I got accused of stealing a salad. I worked as a cashier at a grocery store while in high school. Because they had scheduled me 6 1/2 hours, I only qualified for a 15 minute break, not a 30 minute. So I spend the first 8 or so minutes of my break on the phone with a mechanic working out issues with my car. I then run back to the little cafe near the back of the store that has a salad bar and make a quick salad, which you weigh and price there. By this time I had about 5 minutes left on break, and the manager was very strict about not going over your 15 minutes.

So I stand at the cafe register for a good minute, and no one is to be found. I quickly eat my salad, and then take the sticker up to the front registers to pay for the $1.99 salad. I go back on the clock, and about 20 minutes later I am called into the office. They say a situation has occurred, but don't tell me what. They said they are sending me home for the day.

So I come back in the next day for my shift, and they call me into the office again. In the office is the store manager, the assistant manager, the office manager, the cafe manager, and my shift supervisor. Mind you I am a 16 year old kid at their first job who had never been in any sort of trouble. They accuse me of stealing the salad because "despite purchasing the salad, as our records do indicate, you consumed the salad before the purchase." I explained to them how the cashier at the cafe was nowhere to be found, and how if I wanted to eat during my break at that point, I would have had to eat it back in the cafe and then pay for it up front. They tell me to go home, and that they will contact me tomorrow regarding if I keep my job or not. I left in tears, but then got really angry at the severe overreaction, so I came back in an hour later and told them I quit.

I've posted this before but my boss thought I was goofing off in the restroom. For a few months there he wouldn't let me flush the toilet until he came in and made sure I actually used it.

Living in Boston at the time, and the city got hit with an epic Snowstorm/Nor'easter. Like the good little worker bee I am, though, I shovel out, and brave the "state of emergency" to limp up the highway to work. "State of Emergency" means that many business (and sometimes the highways) are shut down. An Adult snow day, if you will.

When I get there, I just get to work, but my Manager feels the need to castigate me for being 20 mins late. I give him a "you're an interesting specimen" look, and get back to work.

That night, I had a previous engagement planned. I had already cleared leaving early with my manager, **and** I'm a salaried employee. When the end of the day neared, I packed up to go home, a whopping 30 minutes early (knowing that I would probably be a bit late, due to the snow - but also knowing that the company is very sensitive about "clocking out early")

So I walk out and am trudging to my car, when - you guessed it - my manager comes running out again. He asks me why I am leaving early. I gently remind him about my prior engagement, and the conversation we had about it. He says "yeah, but you came in LATE this morning. "you have to make up that time or you are STEALING from the company."

I just looked at him.
Then I turned around and left anyway.
What a small person he was/is.

I don't work there anymore.

tl;dr: I left for work early, after coming in 20 mins late due to a horrific snowstorm. Manager accuses me of stealing company time.

A friend of mine used to work for wellknown communications company

One day the CEO of the company visited the office. He went into the break room and counted the supplies. He then announced that he could tell from the proportion of coffee to sweetener that people were stealing the sweetener and taking it home.

He then ordered the discontinuation of coffee service for all company offices

His name was Bernie Ebbers and it wasn't too long after that he was indicted for the biggest act of corporate thievery in history.

I worked in the bakery at a Fred Meyers for about 6 months when I was freshly 19. There was this like 45 year old guy in meat/seafood who was super creepy and all of the women in my department and even one woman who was previously in my department but was moved to another TO GET AWAY FROM HIM warned me about this man from day 1.

Somehow, any time I was on my break, he would "be on his break too" and he'd follow me into the break room and try to flirt with me the entire time. Not only did he follow me on my breaks and lunches, but if I had to walk to another part of the store to get anything he would run to catch up to me and walk with me, he followed me to my car a few times after I got off shift and the scariest time was when I was closing by myself and he came into the back of the bakery and kept following me around the long table, trying to grab me while telling me how much he liked me and how badly he wanted to be with me.

I told him no and to leave me alone CONSTANTLY while managers just shrugged and said "that's just how he is". My boyfriend threatened him when he got off work one time hell even my father came in and threatened him because NO ONE was doing ANYTHING.

The final straw for me was one night when I was closing alone again he came into the back area and followed me into the freezer and tried to kiss me and he grabbed my a*s. I pushed him and f***ing ran to the closing manager who also functioned as HR. He said he'd "watch the store footage" and talk to me the next day.

Next day comes and he pulls me into his office and says that he saw the video and saw this man stalking me inside and outside of work and that he "talked" to him about his behavior to which the man responded that it was just a "misunderstanding". I replied that this had been going on for months and I wasn't going to take it anymore and he had the f***ing NERVE to tell me that "He just does this to all the new girls. As soon as another girl gets hired he'll leave me alone." I told him he was a bastard and quit on the spot.

Turns out the creep was the brother of the stores owner who had been to jail in the past for sexual assault and R*PE but was now "cleaning his life up".

Tldr: 45 year old man stalked 19 year old me for 6 months trying to be with me. Told managers on many occasions they didn't listen. Guy finally assaults me, managers talk with him - he says it's a misunderstanding. Manager says he "just does this to all the new girls and when a new girl gets hired he'll chase her and not me". Turns out guy is a registered sex offender for sexual assault AND r*pe but he's the little brother of the stores owner so he gets a pass.

HR hired consultants to run morale building employee input sessions. Basically saying "We're not from the company. You can tell us all the things you don't like about working here and would like to see changed and we'll put it all into a report for management. Don't worry, everything is anonymous, we just need material for our report and you guys get to have your say in improving things around here."

Turns out HR and the consultants recorded all the sessions and played the highlights for management. People were disciplined for criticising the company or their immediate superiors and any shred of faith or trust in management that the employees may have had was instantly incinerated.

Managers now complain that they don't know what's going on in their teams because nobody tells them anything. I wonder why.

I worked in the stock room of a Gordmans and i was accused of stealing a security cable that goes on jackets... Yeah, what would i do with one of those? Oh and it turns out, our store didn't even carry those cables. It was my phone charger i had in my hand.