Pregnancy is a deeply personal experience and everyone has their own vision of how they want it to unfold. For one mom-to-be, the excitement of her first child has been met with a mix of joy and unexpected challenges.
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With her due date approaching, Reddit user BirthVidThrow received a videographer's services as a Christmas present to film the childbirth. But the problem was that she didn't want it. In fact, the woman had repeatedly expressed that she found the idea repulsive.
However, her refusal of the gift made her dad's girlfriend—the one who had arranged the surprise—emotional, and the lady quickly became defensive, further escalating the tension.
Childbirth is often accompanied by a mix of physical, emotional, and psychological challenges
And this woman's dad and his girlfriend wanted to record hers
Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BirthVidThrow
Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum says the woman shouldn't (be forced to) accommodate others
Image credits: Honest Mum
Our parenting expert Vicki Broadbent, who runs the acclaimed family and lifestyle blog Honest Mum, has a teen, tween and a toddler, and she believes that when it comes to pregnant women, their needs and decisions are what matter.
"Try not to assert unsolicited opinions onto others, however well-meaning you might be," the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada) told Bored Panda. "By all means, give advice when asked but try not to be judgmental or didactic."
The author of the post was absolutely right in highlighting the vulnerable nature of delivery. Severe injuries can occur during childbirth and subsequently impact her mental or physical health. Up to 45% of mothers report experiencing birth trauma, and up to 33% of them develop symptoms of PTSD.
Common causes of birth trauma include:
- Emergency C-section;
- Provider mistreatment, lack of respect, or obstetric violence;
- NICU transfer;
- Poor pain relief;
- Injury;
- A very long labor;
- Precipitous labor.
Symptoms of PTSD from birth trauma include:
- Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts about your birth experience;
- Nightmares;
- Difficulty sleeping;
- Anxiety;
- Extreme fear of another pregnancy or birth;
- Difficulty bonding with your baby.
When the stakes are this high, everyone deserves to feel safe, respected and heard.
Having a baby is one of the biggest events in a person's life, and since it comes with a lot of physical and emotional challenges, supporting them can make a huge difference. Instead of forcing your definition of a perfect delivery on them, you can cook healthy meals, be active together, and stay positive and hopeful about what's to come. The lady who is so determined to bring a camera into the delivery room should understand that no two pregnancies are alike and try to minimize stress—not add to it.
"Pregnancy is a challenging time emotionally and physically with research showing it is as demanding as running a 40-week marathon," Vicki Broadbent added.
"It's also highly personal. Offering a videographer to film the birth is not appropriate unless this was requested by the woman giving birth."
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
As her story went viral, the woman replied to some of the comments
Pretty much all of the people who read the story said the woman hasn't done anything wrong
But there's always one person
