Many people believe that teenagers aren’t ready to be parents, as most of them don't have the emotional maturity or finances needed to have kids. And they’re not entirely wrong. While there are teenagers who can rise above the challenges that having children presents, more often than not, parenthood in teenage years results in negative outcomes for the parent and the child.
This family, whose daughter decided to go through with her teenage pregnancy, also worried that she wouldn’t be able to fulfill the needs of her baby. When they noticed their fears coming true, the dad decided to call CPS and shared more about the whole situation online.
Most teens don't have the maturity or finances to become parents
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These parents tried to warn their daughter about it, but she didn't listen
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Later, the dad clarified some things:
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Many parents think their children aren't mature enough to handle adult life skills
Unfortunately, many parents don’t feel confident that their teenagers are prepared to handle adult life skills, let alone have a child. Just 8% were sure that their adolescent child could make an appointment with a doctor on their own. Around 41% expected their kids to eat healthy foods, while 46% believed that they would save their money for their future.
Experts are quite disappointed by these numbers. "That's stunningly low," said Sarah Clark, an associate research scientist with the University of Michigan. "That's not where we want kids to be at age 17 and 18."
When asked why parents think their teens aren’t ready for independence, 24% said they aren’t mature enough, 22% believe they don’t have enough time to take on responsibility, and 14% feel that they don’t know how to handle their own business.
The responsibility for this partly falls on the parents themselves, as 19% said it’s easier to just take care of tasks themselves instead of leaving it to their teen. 7% didn’t even know how to assign their kids more responsibilities.
"It's less time and less hassle if I just do it myself—as a parent myself, that's true, but you have to more think about it as an investment of time preparing your kid to handle him or herself," Clark said.
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Parents have to prepare their kids for adulthood
If parents want their kids to be independent and resourceful adults or even good parents in the future, they have to start being more serious about teaching them vital life skills. Just because someone turns 18, it doesn't mean that they magically receive a crash course in adulthood. Until they transition into adulthood, they have to learn the things that prepare them for it. Even chores like going to the bank.
"I need to go to the bank. You're going to go with me, and we're going to learn how to do a deposit," Clark said. "It won't be the most fun field trip we have as a family this summer, but it's necessary."
The opportunity for such lessons springs up daily—parents just have to think about them. “I remember my younger son saying, everything was always in the bathroom cabinet. That's true, it always was, and it never would have occurred to me to have a conversation while we were shopping about the difference between ibuprofen and acetaminophen."
So, for children to understand how adult tasks and chores are done, parents have to show and explain them, breaking them down step by step. At first, they might not get it right, but mistakes are just a normal part of the learning process.
If teens know how to take care of themselves, they are more likely to know how to take care of others when the time comes. Adulthood, and especially parenthood, is a journey full of extreme challenges, and they can be easier to overcome if we are equipped with the right tools from our younger years. Even when we become adults, we still need the support of our parents, so let’s not be too harsh on teens if they require a little nudge in the right direction once in a while.
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Readers had mixed feelings about the whole situation
