Changing a baby's diaper in public is a surprisingly (or is it, really?) divisive issue. When you’re a parent to one, then there’s little choice you have if you’re out on errands, unprepared or without someone to look after your other kids. And as for the onlookers, the sight may indeed spark some thoughts, comments and even… advice on wiping strategies.
Yep, you heard it right. This is precisely what happened to one dad who took his three-month-old twins out to the supermarket. “While shopping, my daughter pooped, and I mean she POOPED. There’s no changing tables in the men’s room and there was no family bathroom,” the dad explained in a post on r/AITA. After the barista at Starbucks gave him a green light to change the baby in the back, he got to work.
But there was also this “older woman in her late 40s–early 50s” who had a couple of things to share with dad. He did not welcome it well, so scroll through the whole story right below to see how it ended.
Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)
"While shopping my daughter pooped," he wrote, and since there were no family bathrooms or changing tables in the men's room, he decided to change the baby daughter in public
But there was a lady who not only came forward to criticize dad's "wiping style," but also did what felt like crossing the line to him
At this point, dad called the stranger woman a creep, something he now wonders whether it was the right thing to do
For people who are genuinely wondering why dad decided to change the baby right there in the back of the Starbucks, this is what he had to explain
Image credits: trichapc
To find out more about the diaper duty and all the questions that come with it, from whether it’s fine to do it in public and what public spaces are not meant for it, we spoke with Marissa McKenna, a mom to four who owns Mommy Knows What’s Best, a parenting blog. Her mission is to provide practical solutions that can work for almost every kind of family, based on what she knows works for her family.
“When you need to change a diaper in public, there are a few extra things to think about that you wouldn’t worry about at home: Is there a safe space to lay down the baby? Is the space clean enough for the baby? Is it a blowout that may require extra supplies or help? If you cloth diaper, are you prepared to store the soiled diaper in your bag until you get home? Who is around that may be watching? If you have another child with you, who’s going to keep an eye on that child so you can manage the diaper change?”
Marissa added that an experienced parent would know what to expect, but for a new parent, the first public diaper change could be a daunting task. “It’s all about being prepared when you bring your baby out in public places,” she added.
And this is what people commented on this whole incident
There are definite public spaces where you should not change a baby’s diaper, “such as bathroom sinks, a restaurant table, a shopping cart, airplane seat, or the tops of picnic tables. Basically, you should not change a diaper anywhere someone else may eat, wash their hands, or even sit themselves,” Marissa explained.
“Another public space to avoid is the floor in the middle of an aisle in a store or library. Not only might you have an audience, you may encounter someone who has a weak stomach who may not want to see a diaper mess when they’re shopping or browsing for books.” Marissa added that also, if you’re going to change a baby’s diaper in a vehicle, be sure the vehicle is safely parked and not in motion.
Other people shared just how shocked they were about the dad changing her diaper on a table in a cafe
Ideally, if you have to change diapers in public, the best place to do it would be in a clean bathroom with a clean changing table without an audience, Marissa explained. “Of course, we all know that always isn’t an option, so some other places to change a diaper would include: a changing room in a store; a bench in a park away from others; a secluded spot in the grass in an outdoor settings; in a parked car, either in the back hatch with rear seats down or the back seat; if the baby is small enough, you might also be able to change a diaper while the baby is on your lap in a secluded spot.”
This is how the procedure would look: “Before you begin, get all of your supplies out and ready to go. Keep everything within reach. Make sure that no matter what space you choose, you place a diaper changing mat or blanket under the baby to protect the surface from the diaper mess and to protect the baby’s skin.”
Meanwhile, for those parents who are worried about an audience in any public space, you can cover the baby's parts with a wipe, burp cloth, or small blankie. “And of course, clean up the surface when you are finished and properly dispose of the diaper,” she added.
Image credits: Felipe Salgado (not the actual photo)
When asked why there’s so much backlash against diaper changing in public Marissa explained that “to us adults, going to the bathroom is a private event, unless of course you’re a mom with little kids. We don’t want to see or smell other people’s waste, especially when we’re eating or drinking. And if you’re someone with a weak stomach, it can ruin your day.”
She continued: “I think any backlash comes when a parent tries to change a baby’s diaper on a surface or in a place that is used by the general public to eat or drink or even sit. No matter how tiny the baby is, it just isn’t right.”
Image credits: Kelli McClintock (not the actual photo)
In order to avoid backlash or pressure from others, be prepared before you even leave the house, Marissa suggests. “Stock up the diaper bag. Do a little research about the place you will be visiting to see if there are clean public restrooms and where they are located. If there won’t be any clean public restrooms, is there an outdoor space you can use or can you park your car close to where you will be?”
“Of course, if you can’t totally avoid being around people during the diaper change, be ready to hear and then ignore some comments. As long as you are changing the baby in a safe, clean space and you’re avoiding eating/drinking/sitting surfaces, you’ll be just fine. A baby is gonna do what a baby is gonna do, and there’s no avoiding it,” the blog author concluded.
Get more of Marissa’s useful and informative parenting tips, advice, and insights on her website Mommy Knows What’s Best.