Unfortunately, betrayal accompanies many spouses in their marriage, and very often it actually draws a line under married life, marking the end of the old story. Well, in any case, this is not an easy test for both spouses - regardless of who cheated on whom - but who has it the hardest here is the children.
For example, in the story that we’re going to tell you today, there was also a divorce of spouses due to infidelity - however, later the author of the post, the user u/Worried_papa_1762, didn’t behave decently towards one of his sons. More precisely, not biologically his son... However, let's talk about everything in order.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post and his wife had been married for many years and had 3 children
Image credits: Nathan Dumlao (not the actual photo)
However, 3 years ago, the man found out his wife cheated on him and the youngest son wasn't his biologically
Image credits: u/Worried_papa_1762
The man filed for divorce and moved to another town - but he kept paying child support and called his kids daily, with the exception of the youngest son
Image credits: Sable Flow (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Worried_papa_1762
When the guy returned to town, already with his new wife, the son wasn't happy to visit their house
Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Worried_papa_1762
So the man even threatened to cut off the teen's college fund because of 'his behavior towards him' - and got called out literally by everyone around him
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 38 years old, he and his wife have three teen children, two sons and a daughter, and about three years ago, the man caught his wife cheating. Moreover, as it turned out, the youngest son wasn’t born from him. It all quite predictably ended in divorce, and the OP even left town because, as he himself states, 'he needed time to heal.'
Well, over the past three years, the man has improved his personal life - he found another woman and subsequently married her. All these years, he regularly paid child support for all three kids and called them every day - but he never spoke to his youngest son, Alexander, feeling some kind of moral barrier.
It got to the point that during one of the conversations, the teen even burst into tears, accusing the OP of treating him less importantly. The author hastened to assure the boy that his feelings for him hadn’t changed - but the facts spoke for themselves. Moreover, when the OP and his fiancee returned to their hometown, Alexander was the only one of the children who didn’t come to their wedding.
The OP suspected that the boy wanted to mend fences with his biological father, but it turned out that this wasn’t the case - although they met several times, Alexander firmly rejected the guy’s attempts to continue communication, stating that he already had a father, there’s no need for another one. However, when the OP had a new daughter and the kids began to regularly spend time at his house, Alexander still didn’t show up.
It all ended with the fact that during one of their conversations, the man even threatened to cut off the teen's college fund - simply because he allegedly disrespected him. Alexander lost it completely and told the OP to go to hell, and moreover, even the OP’s own mom said that he acted dishonestly. But the man didn’t think that he had done anything wrong - and decided to seek support online.
Image credits: Jesús Rodríguez (not the actual photo)
Yes, children really suffer perhaps the most from parents' affairs - and in fact, the older the child is at the time the infidelity is discovered, the worse it is. "In order to grow up well, adolescents desperately need their parents to be role models - particularly when it comes to demonstrating the values of integrity, honesty and sensitivity towards loved ones," Kate Figes, Daily Mail relationships expert, writes in her dedicated article.
"They need a stable family from which they can gradually start to pull away in order to forge their own separate lives. The discovery of an affair explodes all that." The situation with Alexander turned out to be even more complex, as his world suddenly collapsed from his mother’s betrayal, a break with the man whom he considered his dad all his life, and obvious preferential treatment of his brother and sister. Apparently the original poster didn't think about this at all.
And if the man expected to receive support from netizens by telling his story, then he seriously miscalculated. ‘Criticism’ is perhaps the mildest definition for the words of many commenters addressed to him. "You abandoned your son who no doubt took this news as hard or harder than you did. You turned your back on him," one of the commenters wrote angrily.
“Now you want him to dance like a trained monkey playing to your whims so he can have a future. A very selfish [jerk]. Your poor poor son,” the commenter concluded. “You neglected him for 2 years. You don’t take out your problems, whatever they are, on your child, Yes he is your child,” another person added reasonably.
“Why are you punishing him for your ex-wife’s actions? He clearly cares about you if he still considers you his father. Why push him away further with an ultimatum? Be the adult,” another person in the comments urged the author. So what would you, our dear readers, do in this situation? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below this post.
People in the comments slammed the man heavily as well, demanding that he behave like an adult and not worsen the situation even more
