Relationships,FamilyAPR 9, 2026

Dad Forgets About Daughter’s B-day, Then Spoils His Son The Same Day: “She Decides To Text Him How She Feels”

Mindaugas Balčiauskas and Ridhima Shukla

Some people lose their keys, others forget their coworkers’ names or dentist appointments. But forgetting your child’s birthday, for no good reason? That should honestly be seen as neglectful — especially when you’re a divorced parent and your child isn’t even an adult yet.

A woman, divorced for over five years, recently shared her teenage daughter’s ordeal online: her 14th birthday was completely forgotten by her father. When the teenager finally texted her dad about how hurt she felt, he turned the conversation into a full-blown tantrum worthy of a toddler.

A daughter of a divorced couple was upset when her father forgot her 14th birthday

Image credits: Prostock-studio / Envato (not the actual photo)

She confronted her father and his response made the situation even worse

Image credits: wirestock / Envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: LostInLanayru

Here's the text exchange between the father and daughter

Image credits: LostInLanayru

Children continue to bear the emotional and long-term consequences of divorce

Divorce changes family structures, and reshapes daily lives, routines, and expectations, especially when kids are involved.

Each year, the US records roughly 2.3 to 2.4 million marriages and close to 670,000 divorces.

And government data shows that nearly one-third of American children experience their parents’ divorce before they turn 18.

In fact, single-parent households are one of the most common living arrangements in the country — around one in five kids in the US lives with a single parent, most often their mother.

That kids are affected by divorce is quite clear from these stats. But researchers have long debated whether it’s the divorce itself that causes harm, or whether the real damage begins long before the papers are signed. Because many marriages that end in divorce usually already have problems such as financial instability, conflict, infidelity, or even violence.

Even so, divorce does leave lasting scars. Children who experience it are, on average, more likely to struggle academically, show signs of anxiety or depression, and face behavioral challenges.

A new study found that the magnitude of these effects is even more severe than previously understood. It found a 35-55% increase in mortality and up to a 63% increase in teen births in children of divorce.

What’s driving this isn’t just the legal separation, the study argues, but everything that comes with it. “Children face not only changes in their family structure, but also widespread disruption to their material and social environments… (there are) changes in family resources, neighborhood quality, and parent proximity.”

Children’s ability to deal with a divorce also depends on their age. Research shows that divorce may be most difficult for school-aged children, as they are old enough to understand the separation but not old enough to understand the reasoning behind it.

What happens when families are rebuilt?

Many parents move on, and over time, new partners, step-parents and step-siblings may enter the picture. Sometimes it creates new forms of support and connection, but other times, it can add another layer of complexity that the children have to navigate.

The arrival of new family members can make them feel like they are being pushed to the sidelines, since attention and time get divided. During this transition, significant moments like school events, or even something as personal as a birthday, can also be overlooked by parents.

It may seem like small lapses that can be explained away by busyness or distraction. But for the child, all sorts of negative feelings can start bubbling.

Experts often describe these moments as forms of emotional neglect… not necessarily intentional, but jarring all the same. A child may start to assume that they are no longer a priority, especially when they see that parent actively present in another household.

These experiences can also shape how children see themselves and their relationships in the future. They may internalize feelings of rejection, grow distant as a way to protect themselves, question their self-worth, and blame themselves for the abandonment.

Experts say it’s not always about dramatic absences, but about consistency.

Research shows that after divorce, certain parents, often those who remarry quickly or start new families, can become less involved in their kids’ lives. The relationship with children from a previous marriage can also weaken as responsibilities shift.

What matters most after divorce isn’t just the separation itself, but what follows

Children cope better when they feel secure around both parents, and when routines are stable. Experts say that parents should keep the communication open, and children should be reassured consistently that they haven’t been replaced.

“While talking is important, so is listening. Parents need to intently listen to what their children are saying after remarriage, rather than deciding the direction of each conversation on their own. Parents should also make an effort to create opportunities for bonding between the children and the new stepparent,” writes Chicago divorce attorney Jonathan Merel.

Ideally, the best-case scenario is that both parents remain actively involved in the child’s life as loving supporters. But sometimes, that just isn’t possible, or even advisable. In situations involving harm or domestic violence, it may actually be better for the child if one parent isn’t around.

It can be pretty hard for kids to make sense of the divorce while it’s happening. Many only begin to understand and come to terms with it as they get older. Experts say professional counseling, along with steady emotional support from family and friends, can make a huge difference in tackling the fallout.

At the end of the day, how parents handle themselves through the divorce process can shape whether the path feels manageable or overwhelming for the kids.