Any divorce of parents always becomes a tough mental challenge for children, especially for older ones among the siblings. However, many psychologists are pretty sure that it’s still better than living in a toxic atmosphere with a "full-fledged" family.
Well, the parents of the user u/SeaworthinessOdd2477, the author of today’s story, divorced as well - but the father, as the teen later realized, also began to look for benefits for himself from his eldest son's visits. Okay, let's just take things in order and go on reading.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a 16 year-old boy whose parents divorced years ago and his dad lives with another family
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The father also has 2 stepchildren, both younger than the author, and he recently asked his son to start cooking for them
Image credits: SeaworthinessOdd2477
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The point is that the boy recently told his dad that he cooks for his siblings when his mom is at work, so the dad decided to take this chance too
Image credits: SeaworthinessOdd2477
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, the man faced a flat-out 'no' because the author claimed that he doesn't consider the father's stepkids his family
Image credits: SeaworthinessOdd2477
The man even tried to guilt the son into cooking for his stepkids, but to no avail - and the boy's mom also sided with him
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 16 years old, he has a younger brother and sister, but his father divorced their mom and went to live with another family. There he has two stepchildren - both younger than the author, and from time to time our hero comes to visit his bio dad and spend time with them.
And so one fine day, the father literally demanded that the OP make food for the younger stepsiblings while in his house. The thing is that the author himself admitted that he sometimes cooks for his brother and sister, thus helping his mom. And the dad almost immediately decided that he could use the services of a "free cook" too.
Needless to say, the man faced a flat-out 'No?' In the end, our hero comes to his father's house to spend time with his parent, and not to cook for free... But the man, apparently, was incredibly inspired by this “inventive” idea, and at almost every meeting he continued to coax the son.
It came to a direct conflict with the author's mom, who directly told her ex to simply cherish the time spent with his son and nothing more. Especially since he had already decided not to retain 50/50 custody. But the man just told her to shut up. And then he even accused the OP of favoritism towards his blood brothers and sisters.
Our hero was outraged by this manipulation attempt on the part of his father, and he decided to take it online in order to ask the netizens for some advice. Is he actually right in this situation, and how would they act in a similar case?
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
"I don't want to make any judgments, but trying to manipulate a child in a dispute is never a good thing," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda contacted for a comment. "Especially with a child who is already traumatized by having his parents divorced."
According to the expert, adults should not try to expand their area of responsibility to children, and especially not try to shift their own parental responsibilities onto them. "This teenager already has the responsibility of helping his mom with his younger brothers and sisters, with whom he lives under the same roof - and making him to cook for his father's stepchildren looks completely inappropriate. Trying to solve his own problems at the expense of the child - this is not good at all."
Still, the original poster deserves credit for his poise and composure. Qualities that are not always typical of teenagers, let's admit it. "I'm nevertheless glad that this boy acted very smart and mature - he didn’t succumb to provocations from his father, calmly explained his position. In the end, no one could force him to love his biological father's stepkids. And if such reactions from the father continue, it’s worth taking some legal action," Irina sums up.
People in the comments also sided with the original poster, claiming that his father’s behavior was completely outrageous and rude here. “I feel like this was just him trying to find a way to guilt you into being a free nanny,” one commenter wrote. “You're not responsible for taking care of your father's stepkids. Feeding them is your father's and his wife's job. Not yours,” another person wisely added.
And many responders were really surprised at how entitled some people actually are. “You can tell him to pay you $50 a meal and you’ll cook for his adopted children. Why do people feel entitled to your time and effort?” one user wrote in the comments. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this story? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Most people in the comments also gave the teen their unanimous support, bashing his dad for being completely inappropriate
