Relationships,FamilyFEB 22, 2024

Dad Stages Intervention For "Delusional" Influencer Daughter Over Grandson's "Awful" Name

Viktorija Ošikaitė and Rokas Laurinavičius

Reddit user and father MulledMarmite claims he's at a loss. Supposedly because his daughter has been pursuing the career of an influencer, and it has begun to take a toll on the people around her.

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The final straw, according to him, came after she announced her pregnancy and told the future grandparent her son's name. The man said he found it so awful that he decided to stage an intervention and invited everyone they knew.

But things apparently got heated and some of the attendees believe he's overreacting. So he turned to the subreddit 'AITAH' to explain the situation and get its members' unbiased opinions on it.

Relentless pursuit of work can erode one's personal life, causing a great deal of imbalance

Image credits: biasciolialessandro / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

So when this father supposedly noticed his daughter might be overdoing it, he felt like he had to step in

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Prostock-studio / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

The dad provided a bit more info on his daughter's marriage

Image credits: MulledMarmite

Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum finds the initial circumstances quite appalling

Image credits: Honest Mum

To help us digest what's happening, we contacted Bored Panda's parenting expert Vicki Broadbent. She is the founder of the acclaimed family blog Honest Mum and a multi-award-winning TV director and broadcaster, who can also be found on Instagram @honestmum.

Vicki is raising three kids and she can't imagine any pregnant mom not wanting toys for their child, so she thinks the author of the post may have misunderstood his daughter or told the story in a disingenuous way. "Maybe the pregnant woman in question only wants wooden toys e.g. to match her aesthetic but to not want any toys seems unusual to me," the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada) told Bored Panda. "Either way, I'm sure she'll change her mind, even if it's educational-only toys once the baby is here and grows a little."

Generally speaking, "When it comes to baby names, I think ultimately it is the parents' responsibility to name their child and shouldn't be influenced by anyone else," she added.

"I must say from experience that once a child is old enough they will tell you if they want a name change or abbreviation anyway. My 11-year-old was named Alexander at birth which we later shortened for ease, to Xander."

"At 9, he decided he wanted to be called Alex, so Alex it is. I think as a rule, we should all be more open to varied, diverse names and be inclusive in our thinking and actions. I believe this next generation will embrace unique names more than any other and be accepting of them," Broadbent explained her point of view.

Image credits: anon / facebook (not the actual photo)

But this is a slightly more extreme case, and the man might have a point. Unless his daughter homeschools his grandson, the kid will have to sit in a room full of little people who think the word "poo" is hilarious. So if their classmate is called something even slightly different, they're very likely to make bad jokes about it.

But common baby names have been decreasing since the '50s – so much so that “baby name consultant” is now an actual job, helping parents avoid trendy names. As writer Bethan Kapur highlighted, this may be down to increased individualism, or even possibly the "social media username rat race."

According to Pamela Redmond, who co-authored the book 'Beyond Jennifer and Jason: An enlightened guide to naming your baby,' this tendency may have been started by boomers, who she considers to be the first generation who wanted to be cool.

Merlin, 27, told Kapur that he got sick and tired of wizard jokes while still in primary school. "One of my earliest memories is a kid coming up to me and saying 'Merlin like the wizard!'" he recalled. "I visibly rolled my eyes at four or five years old, which I'm told isn't something children that young normally do."

As people reacted to the story, its author joined the discussion in the comments

Experts agree that odd names can make things harder for us growing up

Image credits: Yan Krukau / pexels (not the actual photo)

"Parents are trying to be original, almost branding their kids in an era where names are viewed on the same level as Twitter handles or a website URL," writer Sabrina Rogers-Anderson said.

Sabrina authored 'The Little Book of Bogan Baby Names,' chronicling some 200 eyebrow-raising choices Australian parents have made when it comes to christening their new arrivals.

The entries range from the misspelled to the backward and from the aspirational to those containing random apostrophes.

Rogers-Anderson isn't the only one who thinks that these names are far from being harmless fun.

Multiple studies from around the world have found links between non-traditional names and employment, social and economic outcomes.

The first such research was conducted in 1948 when Harvard University looked at the life outcomes of 3,300 recent graduates and found that those with unusual names were more likely to have failed their studies or gone on to have negative psychological experiences.

"We all have a bit of bogan in us," Rogers-Anderson said. "But you can take it too far when it comes to names. A name really matters at the end of the day."

Research conducted by Shippensburg University even discovered a correlation between popular first names and lower rates of juvenile criminal behavior.

San Diego University researcher Jean Twenge says this is because names are strongly tied to personal identity and levels of self-content: "People who particularly dislike their name — and also if other people think it’s an odd and unlikeable name — that can cause some problems."

"They tend not to be as well-adjusted," Twenge added.

So it sounds like the Redditor's worries might be justified at least to some extent. But whether or not parents include their own folks in their children's upbringing is for them to decide.

"The personality of the grandparents in question and your relationship with them, of course, will determine if you would want them to be active in your and your children's lives," Bored Panda's parenting expert Vicki Broadbent said. "If you have a positive relationship with your parents, having their involvement will undoubtedly prove beneficial for everyone, especially the grandparents and the grandchildren who will develop a strong bond, enhancing one another's life."

"Grandparents are vital in providing childcare support in some cases too, helping lower childcare costs so parents can get back into the workplace quicker and with greater ease," she said. "The ideal scenario for any parent is having/ creating a village to help raise both the parent and the child. A village can, however, be made up of many people: friends, neighbors, other relatives, and even mentors."