Dealing with parents when you're an adult can be a challenge. Although you're all grown up, some things never change. Strained relationships, unresolved childhood conflicts, or clashes in values can make communication difficult. These things can be even more challenging in the context of different cultures.
One woman shared a story on r/pettyrevenge a few days ago. She vents about having to deal with her stubborn father who got in the habit of hanging up the phone too early. Frustrated over the constant communication breakdown, she left his electricity bills unpaid. Was her little rebellious revenge deserved?
Bored Panda also contacted the author of the post, pritachi. She was kind enough to provide more context to the story. Read on to find our short interview with her below!
Communication with your parents when you're an adult can be hard
Image credits: Connor Gardenhire (not the actual photo)
This woman decided to teach her father a lesson for not listening and constantly hanging up on her
Image credits: Tim Samuel (not the actual photo)
The OP clarified some things with an edit – she usually gets along with her father just fine
Image source: pritachi
Communication between adult children and parents can differ depending on the family's culture
Image credits: Anoop VS (not the actual photo)
In her edit, pritachi mentions the cultural aspect of respect for elders in her Indian culture. Some readers were wondering how that cultural context influences one's relationship with parents. The woman told Bored Panda her personal experience on the subject.
"Honestly, the cultural differences aren’t that huge," she says. "Mostly, I would hesitate to play big pranks and/or inconvenience my parents too much for any reason. That stems from a cultural need to respect my elders, but also from my love for them."
Pritachi tells us how that respect is also a two-way street. "If an elderly person was truly being rude to me, I wouldn’t still be respectful to them," she explains. "It won’t even be expected of me. At least not in my family."
Prof. Dr. of Psychology N.K.Chadha writes: "Respect for elders is a major component in Indian culture." They're revered for their wisdom and knowledge. Yet, examples like pritachi's show that the Indian culture is not a monolith. Respect for elders is not always unconditional – some parents raise their children to believe a person has to earn it no matter their age.
People on the internet tend to jump to conclusions without knowing the full context
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
Some responses and advice pritachi received on the post were borderline offensive. People started to suggest she go no-contact with her dad. Others labeled him abusive. That was before she edited her post to provide some context.
But pritachi isn't quick to demonize those people. "I wouldn’t say they stepped over the line," she says. "I just find it odd that people easily jump to extreme conclusions over one aspect of their behavior."
"My story only told of one small quirk of my dad’s personality. It’s not his whole personality, it’s not even a major part of him. All anyone knew was that he has terrible phone etiquette and nothing else. Just from that small piece of information, people decided he was an abusive and deadbeat father."
"It could not be farther from the truth. I think people need to realize that humans aren’t one-dimensional and every one of us has a multifaceted personality. We shouldn’t vilify anyone over such limited knowledge," the author of the post adds.
The OP has some advice for people who might be going through similar situations with their parents
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
The aftermath of pritachi's decision is so far a positive one. "Electricity is back at my dad’s house and we had a nice chat over the incident," she tells us. "By the end of it, I think my dad was impressed by what I did and he has promised to make sure he improves his phone manners."
The woman highlights the importance of communicating with your parents. "It may just resolve some of the issues," she observes. As in most conflicts, talking out your issues with the other person is the best path to resolution.
However, there is one good suggestion pritachi found in the comments. "I’m also going to ask him to get a medical check-up for any neurological diseases just in case," she tells Bored Panda. "I hope it’s nothing, but many people pointed it out and I would rather be safe than sorry."
That's another recommendation that she has for people who have a hard time communicating with their parents. "If anyone else is in a similar situation with their parents, getting a health check-up might be a good idea for them as well," the author believes.
The author of the post also provided some context while answering questions from commenters
