Remember the famous phrase “history is written by the victors”? In fact, it applies not only to “big” history, to states and wars, presidents and kings. “Small”, everyday history is also written by the winners. Well, or those who managed to do it earlier.
Just judge for yourself - the user u/Cool_Indication8723, the author of today’s story, only accidentally found out that his ex was pregnant and that he’d become a father. And when he found out, he began to fight for his paternity. And he did the right thing - after all, his son almost received completely different documents, first and last name...
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a young man who parted ways with his girlfriend recently - and then found out she's pregnant
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The man was eager to get involved in his son's upbringing - but his ex had the opposite opinion
Image credits: Cool_Indication8723
Image credits: Josh Willink (not the actual photo)
She even married another guy and listed him as the father in the baby's birth certificate
Image credits: Cool_Indication8723
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA (not the actual photo)
However, the author didn't give up and took it to the court. The judge awarded 50/50 custody
Image credits: Cool_Indication8723
The bio dad was happy but the ex's family and she herself dubbed him 'petty' for doing so
So, the Original Poster (OP) is a 24-year-old man who recently, a few months ago, became a dad - but this joy was overshadowed by accompanying events. Firstly, even before the baby was born, his girlfriend, a 28-year-old woman, left him for another man. Secondly, she almost immediately married this man.
And finally, the woman didn’t want the OP to take any part in the child’s life at all, so the guy actually found out that he would become a father from her sister. The expectant mom even hoped that her new husband would become the baby's father, and he would receive his last name (her husband knew that he was not the bio dad).
But no - our hero intervened, demanded a DNA test and, since the couple tried to prevent this, brought the matter to court. Well, the test showed the author's paternity, and the judge awarded 50/50 physical and legal custody. It’s quite possible that the court didn’t like the mom’s attempt to completely remove the biological dad from the baby’s life.
As a result, the author was again entered into the birth certificate as the father (initially the ex' husband was listed there), and the baby again received his legal last name. Moreover, the boy’s first name was also changed, since his mom had tried to make him a junior for the husband (first and middle name).
Justice triumphed - but were the parties happy with it? At the very least, the kid’s mother and her fam were completely indignant. The ex's mom even called the OP a 'petty little kid' who allegedly, for the sake of his ambition, deprived the baby of a 'decent father' and wouldn’t let him 'grow up in a full-fledged family.'
In turn, our hero was completely confident that he was 100% right - both from the legal and moral side of the problem. So he decided to seek some support online...
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
“It seems to me that this father did exactly the right thing in the described situation - because he had every right to participate in the life of his child, especially since he had a desire to become a father,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment over this case. “I must admit, not every man in a similar situation would do the same.”
“Well, the court has already given a legal assessment of this story, but from a human point of view, excluding a person from the life of his baby literally behind the backs of both is wrong. In the end, sooner or later both would have found out about what happened, and for both it would become very traumatizing."
“As for the fact that the biological father allegedly deprived his son of the opportunity to grow up in a full-fledged family - yes, it’s believed that such a family, where both parents are present and involved, is more beneficial for the child’s psyche than divorced parents. But under one important condition - if the relationship between parents are good. Here we have an attempt to 'rewrite history' on the part of the mom and her family, which in itself is fundamentally unethical,” Irina summarizes.
If our hero tried to find support from netizens, his expectations were fully justified. People in the comments massively supported the author, noting that he did everything right. "Good for you for fighting for your son. She can't just erase you from her past," one of the responders wrote. "'That wonderful man' can prove his wonderfulness in other ways, a name shouldn't make that much of a difference."
As for the new husband’s desire to become a dad to the baby, the commenters also have a ready-made solution for him. "If ex's husband wants to play daddy he can get her pregnant with his own child instead of trying to steal OP's," someone aptly pondered in the comments. And what do you, our dear readers, think about the behavior of all the heroes of this tale?
However, people in the comments unanimously sided with the author, claiming that he did everything right here
