Let's start from the very beginning - any marriage, any family means that two can play that game, and if in ancient times there was a clear division of roles in the family, today, if you go through life together, then you also solve all problems together. As a dad of 3, I'm pretty much sure of this.
The hero of our story today, Caleb Remington, realized the same with the birth of his second child. On his joint account with his wife Tiffany on TikTok, the man told how his views on life changed after the baby's birth - and went really viral!
More info: TikTok
The author of the video and his wife recently had their second kid - so the dad decided to take paternity leave to do the chores
Image credits: ustheremingtons
"Dadtok coming in hot. So unfortunately, I'm at the end of my maternity - ahem, paternity leave"
"I only joke because my wife is truly the man of the house, and call me what you want, but I am totally okay with that.
To be honest, I'm super bummed that this time is ending, but I am acknowledging my privilege because with our first, I didn't have a single day of paternity leave. This time around, they gave me four weeks and I took an extra three weeks of PTO, and part of me feels guilty that I didn't do that with our first."
Image credits: ustheremingtons
Image credits: ustheremingtons
"Being present with the kids and literally finding ourselves lost in time watching ants cross the sidewalk made me realize how many of those small moments I missed out the first time"
"But I'm moving past that guilt and grateful that I had some time to make it up. The lady with the milk bags has been so stressed with how messy the house, I'm doing what I can to start picking up some of those domestic responsibilities, because I admit, with our first newborn, this is where I failed."
Image credits: ustheremingtons
Image credits: ustheremingtons
"These past seven weeks really opened up my eyes on how the household is actually ran. 110% of that is because of my wife"
"What you see in this video is actually what I do on a daily or weekly basis. And for the longest time, I thought I was doing enough of the fair share, but realistically, this is just the bare minimum.
It's taken multiple conversations and many ongoing ones to truly master how to take on more of the mental load of raising children, growing our marriage, and taking care of our investments like our home. I think we both knew how hard bringing children into the world was, but I definitely think we were naive when it came to how much it would impact our relationship."
Image credits: ustheremingtons
Image credits: ustheremingtons
"I honestly hated how much we fought, how much I had felt misunderstood and how much I misunderstood her"
"We're actually really good communicators, but I felt like any time anybody expressed something, the other was hurt. Emotions run totally high during this season, so now as second-time parents, I feel like we're a little bit more prepared, prepared in how we talk to each other parent and how I balance work life and personal life. I'm prepared to just let things go."
Image credits: William Fortunato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Tuan PM (not the actual photo)
The husband claims that now he understands his wife way better - and it really helps their marriage
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that after the birth of his second baby, he decided to take an additional three weeks of paternity leave from work to the four that the company provided him initially, and took on most of the household chores that, let's be honest, his wife used to do before.
Yes, Caleb admits that usually it is the wife who 'is the man of the house' - but now, when their child has just been born, the husband does the whole range of chores, and he's nothing but stunned by how hard it actually is to do everything!
Cleaning, washing, cooking - the man does all this and, despite the fact that it turned out to be difficult for him, he's glad that he took on these tasks. At a minimum, because now he understands his wife way better, and realizes how the household is actually run, and what it was like for his wife if he didn’t help her before.
According to the man himself, now he sincerely regrets that he didn't take paternity leave with their first kid - after all, this, quite possibly, could have helped the spouses avoid the disputes and quarrels that took place then. However, Caleb says that he and his wife are now much wiser, and much better prepared for their second parenthood.
Well, worldly wisdom, the ability to give in and the ability to negotiate sometimes become key in the development of any family, and I'm sincerely glad that this guy has taken this path, as are many commenters on the video, praising Caleb for understanding and doing all these things now.
According to people in the comments, what the original poster is doing now is actually helping him realize the value of his partner, and really forming a path to a better relationship in their marriage. "You may not know it, but you are saving your marriage," one of the commenters is pretty sure.
Many people in the comments are also absolutely sure that paternity leave is actually a must, because it can open the eyes of so many husbands. So Caleb's video became a real inspiration for them. "I told my husband I would like him to be home for the first 2 weeks and he was shocked and isn't sure that can happen. We will see in October," one commenter pondered.
In any case, unfortunately, not all families adhere to the same concept when doing chores. For example, the mom from this post of ours, after returning home from a business trip, discovered that her husband and kids had turned the house into a real pigsty during her absence - and gave her own family an ultimatum... By the way, how are things going with this in your family?
People in the comments praise the man for doing all this - and some pregnant women are going to urge their own husbands to take paternity leave too
