40 Times A Great Date Took A Major And Unpredicted Turn For The Worse, As Shared Online

Bored Panda contacted Hayley Quinn, who is a dating coach, and she kindly agreed to share her insights and tips for and about first dates.

To begin with, key principles for making a great first impression, according to Hayley, are to be both interested and interesting. “Get the balance wrong and you could appear under confident, or arrogant. Be cautious of asking too many questions of your date without first sharing the same level of information yourself.”

However if you ask too many questions in a row you will sound more like a gushing fan than somebody who is interesting in their own right. “It's also hard to trust someone who is very closed up, and hard to be attracted to someone who isn't able to talk passionately about their own lives, so remember to share authentically about who you are,” Hayley shares. 

So if you are also taking time to listen to the other person, you will come across as trustworthy, not arrogant, by talking about yourself.

Speaking about personal topics, conversations about the future and when it’s the right time to touch on them, the dating coach says that while it’s nice to share openly on your dates, it’s also important to remember that what you share should be related to how well you know somebody. “First dates are about getting to know someone new, and having fun, that's it!”

Thus serious topics such as about commitment or previous partners should be left for later until you have had more time to develop trust in the person that you are seeing. “No one wants to feel like they're being sized up for a relationship before you've got to know them.”

So you may be wondering when it’s the right time to make sure that person is looking at you seriously and wants the same as you. Hayley says to focus on how you are connecting first, then somewhere in the early dating stages, if you have established you like each other, you can have a conversation about commitment.

“For some people it will feel natural to do this on date 3, for others after 3 months; Again it's a balance of not asking on a first date, and not waiting so long that you wind up in a situationship,” she emphasizes.

And finally, how to handle the situation if there is no chemistry or connection during the first date? The dating coach shares to first remember to choose a ‘low-commitment’ first date to start with. “It's a lot easier to leave a round of drinks at a bar, or a coffee date, than walk out on a 3-course meal. So keep your first dates short and sweet.”

“If there's no connection you then have a choice to either enjoy the chat for what it is (most people can tell us something interesting and new) or walk away by saying politely, but truthfully, ‘I appreciate you meeting me, but I want to be open that I don't feel we have that connection... and I'm guessing you feel the same.’ 

“The only exception to this is if you feel unsafe; in this case you can ‘ask for Angela’ at a bar (UK) or ‘an angel shot’ (USA) which alerts a member of staff to the fact you feel unsafe and may need help exiting a date,” Hayley shares.

So folks, do you have some stories of dates that went sideways? Maybe you have some tips that may be useful to others? Share them in the comments!