We all have different interests in life; that's no secret. As long as each of us can keep up with our interests without pushing them too much on others or being disrespectful about the things we like, there's no problem with that. Yet, some people tend to cross that line.
For example, the man with whom this OP went on eight dates. On their last one, he invited her to his home, which was decorated with Japanese-themed stuff. The second the woman saw it, she got freaked out as she realized that the reason the guy went out with her wasn't her personality, but her ethnicity.
More info: Reddit
There's nothing wrong with having a special interest as long as it is respectful to the subject and other people
Image credits: lux_senpai_11 / Reddit (not the actual photo)
A woman and guy went out on 7 successful dates, but their 8th went so sour, the blooming relationship crumbled
Image credits: mego-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The moment that ruined everything was the visit to the guy's home, where every single item was Japan-themed
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It felt icky considering the woman was Japanese, as it seemed like he was dating her solely for her ethnicity, not anything else
Image credits: anonymous
She quickly ran out of his home and when she brought it up to him later, he lied that he bought everything to impress her, which was not that convincing
The OP had gone on her 7th date with a guy she met at her university’s gym. Since everything was going great, they naturally decided to go on an 8th one. During it, they had dinner at a cheesecake factory and afterward, he invited her to his place for the first time. That’s where things went wrong.
The second they entered his apartment, she noticed that it was full of Japanese-themed stuff. In fact, you could have felt like you were in a museum of Japanese culture: tatami floors, posters of J-pop singers, a katana collection, anime figurines, Japanese paintings, furniture, vases, a cherry blossom lamp and even bedsheets and blankets.
Since the OP herself is Japanese, you probably understand why she was so creeped out by it all. The guy was clearly a Japanophile, which, as you can guess from its name, is a strong interest in Japanese culture, people, and history. Yet, there’s a line between being respectfully fascinated and crossing into a weird obsession.
For instance, when people like things because of their country of origin, not because of their qualities themselves, this leads to the culture being treated as superficially exotic, which is plainly disrespectful.
In this case, it became very clear to the original poster that the guy was dating her solely because she’s from Japan. So, she left the eerie apartment as fast as she could. This was upsetting, as she liked the guy prior to seeing his apartment, but now, she doesn’t know if she even wants to be in close proximity to him.
Ever since she left, the guy has been spamming her with texts asking her if he did anything wrong. So, eventually the OP answered, and he started spilling the excuses. He said that he bought all of it just to impress her and that’s why it took 8 dates for him to bring her over, as the shipping took a while.
Image credits: pikisuperstar / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Yet, she doesn’t believe him. In her eyes, it’s unrealistic that he bought thousands of dollars worth of stuff just to impress her. After all, his collection of manga books alone would be pretty expensive, as even one volume of a book, depending on the publisher and seller, can cost something around $9.99-14.99 or even more.
Here, as an example, in Barnes & Noble, a hardcover of Heaven Official's Blessing: Tian Guan Ci Fu Vol. 2 costs $29.99. So, imagine buying many books with these prices – it wouldn’t be cheap.
In addition to his home, the author has also noticed him following a bunch of Japanese girls on Instagram and playing Japan-related games on Ps5. So, his Japanophilia is crystal clear.
The woman couldn’t stand feeling favored just because of her ethnic origin and decided to break things off with him, even though it meant losing a guy that’s pretty sweet in all areas except one.
Sadly, saying goodbye to the relationship is also saying goodbye to the guy’s financial help too. Now she’ll have to up her already existing “business” of selling feet pics to people on the internet. But hey, according to some people who do the same, apparently this is pretty easy money. So, as long she doesn’t have a problem doing that, she probably won’t be struggling.
As for the Japanophile guy, she not only broke up with him, she also slightly altered her life so he would be completely cut off and they wouldn’t run into each other, like in the gym where they met. People online agreed that such measures were completely reasonable in such a scenario and said that in the OP’s place, they would have done the same.
But what would you have done if you were in the original poster’s situation? Share your ideas with us in the comments!
So, she cut him out of her life, which folks online said was the best thing she could have done in this situation
