Family conflicts are normal, and many experts say what matters is how you repair them. However, these rifts can be extra tricky to deal with once things get out of hand.
This was a headache a mom had to deal with involving her young daughter, whom she believed got involved with a bad crowd. The child not only lashed out with spite and anger, but also became physical when things didn’t go her way.
Seemingly left with no other solution, the parents decided to make it a less festive Christmas for their daughter as punishment.
Family conflicts become more impossible to deal with when things get out of control
Image credits: DC_Studio (not the actual photo)
A mom began having trouble handling her young daughter, whom she believed had gotten involved with a bad crowd
Image credits: josecarloscerdeno (not the actual photo)
Things got so out of hand, that she decided to punish the child by giving her a miserable Christmas
Image credits: JoannaTheYodelingCowgirl
A child getting involved with a bad crowd may be a sign of a lack of guidance
The mom mentioned that her daughter had fallen in with a bad crowd, which may have led to her problematic behavior. According to marriage and family therapist Luis Maimoni, it could also be a parenting issue.
“Kids don’t curate their social lives — adults do. Their time, supervision, access, and modeling are largely controlled by caregivers,” he told Bored Panda. “The issue is usually lack of guidance, structure, or supervision, not a child making independent moral choices.”
Parenting and life coach Melissa Schulz pointed to possible conditions like ADHD and autism that make them view the world differently and/or develop communication challenges. As she explained, this may result in angry or aggressive responses that stem from poor emotional regulation or unmet emotional needs.
“If a parent notices an increase in angry, spiteful, and aggressive behaviors, that means that their current approach is not meeting their unique child's needs,” Schulz said.
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Logical consequences are necessary when dealing with a difficult child
The woman and her husband decided not to give their child presents for Christmas, likely out of frustration. Maimoni says such punishments are more about parents venting their own exasperation than imposing logical consequences, which he strongly urges in such scenarios.
“You cannot punish a child into emotional health,” he stated.
Hudson Valley-based psychotherapist Ariel Zaksenberg shared a similar sentiment, stating that consequences must be more about educating children to help them make better decisions. He added that support must come with unconditional positive regard and be directed toward choices more aligned with their well-being.
Parenting, in itself, is complicated and sometimes chaotic. In those times of uncertainty, professional help may be the better next step, as Schulz advises.
“The sooner the better, because the longer the challenging behavior goes on, the more of a habit and a self-identity it becomes and the harder it is to get back on track (although it's always possible!).”
In this story’s case, giving the daughter a miserable Christmas experience may only lead to more tension and resentment. Since the woman seems at a loss as to what to do, it may help if they sought counseling from a licensed therapist.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Comments from readers began pouring in
The mom later provided an update after she had calmed down
