Betrayal is the worst thing to face, and it’s even more heartbreaking when it’s done by someone you love. When you put your trust in someone else, it’s shocking if the other person takes it for granted or stomps on your heart. It’s even worse when the betrayer is your own kid who is purposely trying to hurt your feelings.
A man on Reddit found out that his stepdaughter had known about his wife’s affair all along and chose to keep the secret because the other man was buying her stuff.
Man is left heartbroken after he finds out wife is cheating on him, is shocked when he realizes stepdaughter knew all along and didn’t tell him
Image credits: Vidal Balielo Jr. (not the actual photo)
35YO man married a woman who already had a child and decided to adopt her daughter Lisa, they also had a kid of their own named Marc
Image credits: Armin Rimoldi (not the actual photo)
He became suspicious of his wife after catching her texting and exiting the room to take calls, one day he found her on the phone while Marc lay crying on the floor in soiled diapers
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
His wife said she’d been sleeping with her ex-boss, Daniel, for 6 months, but what hurt him more was his stepdaughter kept the secret from him because Daniel used to buy her stuff
Image credits: u/BraveExplanation2530
He left them both and took his son to his parents’ house, he decided to divorce his wife and disown Lisa because he felt she should have known better as a 13YO
The Original Poster (OP) is a 35-year-old man, and he met his wife, a 33-year-old woman, at university 12 years back. Three months into dating her, he found out that she had a daughter named Lisa. She had the kid when she was a teen. At first, he was shocked and wanted to dump the woman, but he stayed and began caring for her kid as if she were his own. The couple then decided to get married in 2019, and two years later, he adopted Lisa.
The man shared that he had worked hard to give his wife and daughter luxuries that he only dreamed of as a kid. He even cared a lot for Lisa and did not make her feel like she wasn’t his daughter. Studies have shown that positive stepchild and stepparent relationships can reduce children’s stress, academic problems, and negative internalization. This shows that the poster’s love and care for the child must have had a positive impact on her life.
A year after adopting Lisa, his wife gave birth to their son, Marc. She decided to become a stay-at-home mom, and he was fine with her decision. But he began to realize that she was spending a lot of time with her friends. She also seemed to constantly be texting and even exited the room when she was on call. It seemed like she only did that for one specific “friend.”
One day when the OP returned home, he was shocked to find Marc lying on the floor all along, crying. The baby’s diaper was soiled, and it seemed like he hadn’t been cleaned since morning, while his wife was outside on her phone talking to someone. When he confronted her, he got to know that she had been sleeping with her ex-boss, Daniel, for 6 months.
Research on betrayal has found that infidelity and dishonesty can be traumatic and cause considerable distress to the individual. It can cause the person to feel angry, doubt themselves, grieve, have lower self-esteem, and be preoccupied with morbid things. The OP was angered by his wife's infidelity and could not believe that she would put her son at risk as well.
Image credits: Phil Nguyen (not the actual photo)
When his stepdaughter heard the argument, she came downstairs and casually asked him if he knew about Daniel. The man broke down in tears when he realized that his stepdaughter knew about his wife’s affair. When he questioned her about why she had kept the information from him, she replied, “because unlike YOU, Daniel buys me the things I want without having to beg.” She even went so far as to say he wasn’t her real dad.
The trauma of betrayal can have long-lasting effects on a person. Studies have shown that the way a person processes a highly stressful event depends on the nature of the relationship between the victim and perpetrator. If the victim cares about or trusts the perpetrator a lot, it can lead to high betrayal trauma. In this case, the man shared that he broke down when he learned that even his daughter was part of his wife’s lies. It must have hurt him severely to be betrayed by two people whom he trusted so much.
When commenters asked the poster how he felt about Lisa, he shared: “she isnt 9 yrs old. She fully understood what she said. i want to be in her life. i love her to death. but please explain to me how I can i excuse whatever bs she told me. she needs to learn that this isnt how you talk to your father. She watched me go to work every single f**king day knowing damn well that during that time some mf was smashing her mom in our bed. Even if she was biologically mine, she needs to see consequences.”
After the incident, the man left and took Marc with him. He stayed at his parents’ house and began drinking himself to sleep every day. He decided to cancel his stepdaughter’s private tuition and her extracurricular activities. He contacted a divorce lawyer and blocked his wife after telling her, “get a lawyer and tell that ungrateful thing of yours to start calling Daniel her dad. Im disowning her."
Survivors of betrayal trauma often don’t seek support from people and struggle with regulating their emotions. In this case, the man dove deep into drinking and refused to listen to his friends who were trying to get him to see clearly. Luckily for him, his parents were willing to look after him and his son.
Being cheated on is painful, but to experience another crushing blow on top of that is extremely difficult. The poster’s entire life came crashing down on him because of his wife and stepdaughter’s actions. Netizens shared supportive comments and advice with the poster, especially telling him to stop drinking because it will only make things worse. Do you think the man was right to cut off his wife and adopted daughter? Tell us what you think in the comments.
Netizens advised the poster to do a DNA test on Marc and to quit drinking for his own health and safety
