They say parenting is a team sport, but what happens when one parent decides to play by a completely different rulebook? Divorce has a way of turning even the simplest co-parenting efforts into a game of who’s the “fun” parent and who’s the “strict” one.
Kids, of course, have a built-in radar for which house comes with fewer rules and more perks. While one parent does their best to raise a responsible human, the other just wants to win the popularity contest.
One Redditor gets labeled as a “deadbeat” dad by his own daughter after doing what most would consider basic parenting.
More info: Reddit
Co-parenting after divorce is like group projects in school; one person does all the work while the other takes all the credit
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One man is labeled a deadbeat dad by his own daughter after he stops paying child support once she turns 18
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The teen becomes a troubled child after the parents’ divorce, but the mom allows her to do everything she wants while Dad is trying to maintain some rules
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The daughter refuses to see her dad because he imposes reasonable rules on her, while her mom allows her to run wild
Image credits: Afraid-Parsnip-3754
The dad is labeled a deadbeat by his daughter and accused by his ex of abandoning her, as he stops paying child support once she turns 18
The OP (original poster) is a 44-year-old dad who once shared custody of his daughter, Jess. Unfortunately, his marriage to Mary, his ex-wife and the alleged queen of zero boundaries, ended when Jess was 12. Why? Oh—just your standard emotional (and probably physical, as the OP suspects) affair on Mary’s part.
Post-divorce, things got rocky with Jess. The OP tried the whole “strict but fair” parenting approach, while Mary went for the “do-what-you-want” style. Guess which house Jess preferred? Hint: not the one with actual rules. I get it—as teens, we dream of a no-rule household, but that doesn’t mean it's what's best for the kid. And Jess is proof of that.
At 14, she was caught with illegal substances at school. The OP, in true Dad fashion, laid down the law: no devices and behavior improvement required. That was the last time Jess willingly stepped foot in his house. From that point on, Mary’s place was the land of no consequences, and the OP was officially the bad guy.
So, when Jess turned 18, the OP stopped paying child support. Legally, his obligations were over. But according to Mary, cutting off the cash flow was “abandonment.” And, as if things couldn’t get more heated, Jess took to TikTok, where all modern grievances are aired, to declare her dad a “deadbeat” with plenty of “creative” details about him, apparently at Mom’s suggestion.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The pros would call this strategy parental alienation, which is the sneaky villain in many post-divorce horror stories. It’s when one parent, usually the more “chill” one, convinces the child that the other parent, who hasn’t done anything harmful to the kid, is the villain. This can look like exaggerating flaws, twisting past events, or straight-up rewriting history.
The result? A kid who suddenly sees their once-beloved parent as the bad guy, often without realizing they’ve been manipulated. It’s like a bad PR campaign where the only target audience is your own child, and unfortunately, it works way too often, especially after divorce.
Like a separation isn’t enough for a child, manipulating them into hating the other parent is just cruel. While some kids come out of the divorce with resilience and a solid sense of independence, others are not that lucky. According to experts, children of divorce can struggle with trust issues, emotional regulation, and, in some cases, picking up unhealthy relationship patterns and destructive behaviors.
They are also not free of guilt, like the divorce is somehow their fault, so they might struggle in school and even lose interest in their friends. And, when one parent prioritizes being the favorite over being responsible, the kid ends up with a skewed idea of what boundaries and accountability actually look like.
So, what did you think of this story? Is the dad the bad guy? Share your comments below!
Netizens side with the man, saying he is not a jerk for stopping child support payments once his daughter turns 18
