While divorce takes a toll on a separated couple, it probably has a greater impact on the kids when they witness everything firsthand. Plus, if they are dragged into adult fights, it might just damage them and they might look at their parents in a different light.
Even Reddit user Parking_Society6027 got caught in her parents’ messy divorce when her dad demanded that she not interact with any of her mother’s new partners. Well, she found this unfair and refused to “honor” his request but he threatened to go no-contact!
More info: Reddit
A messy divorce can be tough for the separated couple but it's also equally traumatic for their kids
Image credits: Monstera Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster's father took his divorce badly and made a rule that she and her younger sister would not interact with any of their mother's partners
Image credits: Parking_Society6027
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
He also expects them to follow this rule for the rest of their lives and gave an ultimatum that he will cut ties if they break the rule
Image credits: Parking_Society6027
The poster refused to follow it as she found it unfair and controlling but this just angered him
In today’s story, we dive into the original poster’s (OP) world where she tells us how she and her younger sister have been caught up in their parents’ messy divorce for years. Despite lack of any proof, their father claimed that their mom had cheated, while their mother always denied it. However, OP claims that they are not compatible, so it was bound to end.
The divorce was quite hard on their father, so the two daughters were always compassionate toward him, but he made a rule that they will never interact with any of their mother’s new partners. Apparently, he didn’t want anyone else taking the role of a dad and although his daughters disagreed with him, they let it slide at that time.
Things took a weird turn during a recent conversation the women had with their dad where he stressed that he wants them to follow this “rule” for the rest of their lives. OP was, of course, shocked, so she enquired whether she has to follow it even when she is an adult and even if her mom is happy with someone else, to which he said yes.
In fact, he even gave her an ultimatum that she will “stop being his daughter” if she ever breaks the rule and he will even cut ties with her. At this point, OP was quite frustrated because she and her sister are adults now and it sounds quite absurd to her. She voiced that she will not follow it and it will be his decision if he does decide to cut her off.
Well, this didn’t go down well with him, as he said that because of her “lack of principles” she will be the one responsible for ending the relationship. The poster finds this unfair and controlling, but she doesn’t want her dad to dictate her life, nor does she want to lose him, so she sought advice online.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Psychology Today states, “Ongoing conflict between parents after they split up is deeply unsettling for children. These children might also experience anxiety and depression.” Folks online expressed their sympathies that the poster is still stuck between her parents and their drama.
They did not hesitate to call out her father’s actions as completely immature as he is clearly asking the poster and her sister to pick sides, which they shouldn’t have to. People also highlighted that his controlling behavior is a clear indication of why the couple got divorced and he is still projecting his insecurities onto his kids.
It has been observed that a partner’s controlling nature is one of the top 3 behaviors that can threaten a marriage, and even the poster admitted that it was true in this case as well. Some Redditors also commented that the father was also distancing the daughters from their mother by making such an absurd ultimatum.
Honestly, just how many stories have we heard that ended badly due to an “ultimatum”? They rarely bring out anything good and this story just proves it because the father had already lost his wife and now his ultimatum might taint his relationship with his daughters.
Some netizens also said that her father needs therapy because of his insecurities and how he is still trying to control his ex-wife through his daughters. They also advised OP to remain firm with her boundaries and not let him dictate her and her sister’s lives, and even we agree with them.
What about you? If you were in her shoes, how would you have handled the situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!
Folks online sided with the poster and didn't hesitate to call out the father's immature behavior
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman / Pexels (not the actual photo)
