People are complicated – it's a tale as old as time. And so, it's natural for them to clash when it comes to certain ideas, actions or anything like that. Even those who are related by family ties aren't immune to that.
Politics is one of those things that tends to cause a rift in many families, like the one in today's story. In it, a father describes how his relationship with his adult daughters deteriorated when he prioritized his beliefs over his family.
More info: Reddit
Even though it's natural for families to be affected by differing political values, it's still always sad to see
Image credits: teksomolika / Freepik (not the actual photo)
For quite some time now, a father hasn't gotten along with his daughters due to opposing political opinions
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One of his daughters walked out from the Christmas he was hosting because she felt uncomfortable, so he hoped that at least the other wouldn't do anything like that
Image credits: Gary Barnes / Pexels (not the actual photo)
They made a pact that they wouldn't talk about politics, but during her birthday breakfast he broke it and made a comment, which set off the woman's monologue of how wrong he was
Image credits: politicaldadthrowra
When she wouldn’t stop after he asked, he walked out, leaving her at the restaurant with a stranger who was clearly upset with her, and from that point on, the daughter cut ties with her dad
When his daughters, Alicia and Mary, were in middle school, the OP got divorced from their mom. After that, the girls lived with their dad until they moved out after high school. Now, years later, they are in their 30s and the dad has been living with his (not so) new partner Janice for 15 years.
The core reason why this post ended up online is that the author’s and his daughters’ political views oppose each other. At first, it was a fact everyone knew but didn’t speak of until everything blew up. Politics causing tension in relationships of any kind isn’t something rare, especially in today’s political landscape. Even decade-long friendships fall apart and families aren't immune to that either.
They all were celebrating Christmas and one of his daughters, Mary, said something that upset Janice. The situation got so bad that Mary walked out, and even though Alicia stayed, the day was awkward. From that point on, the dad and his partner banned Mary from visiting their home.
Then, some time later he managed to drive away his other daughter too. It happened during a birthday breakfast he took her on. At that point, they already had an agreement in place that they were not going to talk about politics, as they don’t agree on them. But the man decided to violate it.
During this breakfast, he saw something on the restaurant's TV that upset him and he commented on it. Ironically, usually restaurants have TVs so customers can relax while waiting for their meals, but in this case, it did the exact opposite. After the dad’s remark, Alicia started ranting about how he was in the wrong and wouldn’t stop even when he asked, saying he was the one who brought it up.
To make matters worse, a man at another table started disagreeing with the woman, telling her she was stupid and should shut up, while the OP agreed with him. He felt that his daughter had ruined another day due to politics. So, he decided to walk out after saying happy birthday to his daughter.
Image credits: Igor Starkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This upset the woman big time. She said that her dad abandoning her at a restaurant with a stranger, who was clearly mad at her, was a terrible thing to do. Yet, he defended himself saying if she had stopped talking politics, he wouldn’t have done that. In his eyes, it was a way to pressure her to start taking responsibility for her actions.
Ever since, Alicia has barely talked to her dad, usually only on occasions like birthdays and Father’s Day. Plus, she moved and didn’t tell him where, but he guessed that it was somewhere close. The OP sees his other daughter Mary a tad more often, but she has stated that she doesn’t want to get involved in his fight with her sister.
Interestingly, just like in the case of this story, most parent-child estrangements are initiated by the children, as a study of more than 800 people done in 2015 reveals.
Some of the most common reasons for these broken relationships are abuse of all kinds, disrespect, a lack of support, and clashing values, which brings us back to our story.
Many people online didn’t support the OP’s way of dealing with said clashing values. For them, the dad came off as a jerk throughout the whole story – he broke a pact, then abandoned his daughter with a possibly aggressive stranger, and generally put his political beliefs over his children. Overall, he doesn’t sound like a good dad. It’s not surprising people are siding with his daughter.
Well, maybe sometime in the future they’ll be able to find a way to put it all behind them and fix their relationship. Of course, for that to happen, the dad would need to recognize his mistakes, and at least in the post, he came across as someone who might struggle with that. Or maybe the daughters having some distance is healthy, especially for them. After all, sometimes all it takes to thrive is cutting out toxic people, even if they are your family members.
The man didn’t think he’d handled any of these situations poorly, but people online disagreed, telling him he was a terrible dad
