No matter how long you plan your wedding, the day will never be perfect. Something will go wrong, whether it’s the weather deciding not to cooperate, the groom showing up late due to traffic or the cake being dropped on the floor. But don’t worry. As long as you and your new spouse have a lovely time and get to ride off into the sunset together, you can call the day a success. And if it’s your guests who have a problem with something, well, they should probably keep those complaints to themselves.
One woman recently found out that her wedding has been a running joke in her family for a year now, and she did not take the news well. Below, you’ll find the full story told by her parent who spilled the beans on Reddit, as well as a conversation we had with Suki Lanh, assistant editor at Offbeat Wed!
The most important aspect of any wedding is the bride and groom’s happiness
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But after this parent’s daughter got married, her big day became a running joke in their family
Image credits: Matheus Bertelli / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Later, the parent clarified a few details about the wedding
Image credits: Historical-Safe-8579
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Pexels (not the actual photo)
"If you’re planning on inviting guests to your wedding, it’s important to set expectations in your wedding's Save the Date or invitations"
A wedding is all about the bride and groom (or brides or grooms). The whole day is centered around celebrating their love, and guests often accommodate all of their needs and desires for the day. If the happy couple is vegan, attendants at the wedding will enjoy a plant-based dinner that day. If the couple tying the knot decides that their wedding will be on the beach, guests will accept the fact that they’ll have sand in their shoes all day. Whatever makes the lovebirds happy! But if a couple decides to throw a wedding where many guests will be in attendance, it’s only polite to consider their happiness as well.
To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to wedding expert, Suki Lanh. Suki is the assistant editor at Offbeat Wed, and she was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about how brides and grooms can prepare guests for what's to come at their weddings.
"If you’re planning on inviting guests to your wedding, it’s important to set expectations in your wedding Save the Date or invitations," Suki shared. "For instance, if you are expecting the guests to purchase their own meals, mention in your invite 'Food and drinks will be available for purchase following the ceremony.' We offer tons of resources on how to find the right wording for your wedding invitation so that your guests know what they’re walking into."
And if a whole meal is too expensive, Suki says a cake and punch wedding is a nice, budget-friendly alternative. "This was a popular wedding tradition in the 50’s where you would invite guests to witness the exchanging of vows and rings, then following the wedding everyone mingles over cake and punch (or champagne like at this minimalist wedding)," she explained. "A cake and punch wedding doesn’t last very long, perhaps about 2-3 hours, and works great if you’re considering a morning or brunch wedding ceremony. You’re in, you’re out, you’re married, and everyone can go about their day!"
Image credits: Alexander Mass / Pexels (not the actual photo)
"If the whole idea of having to entertain guests is overwhelming but you still want to celebrate with loved ones, consider having a micro-wedding"
The expert also says that, if you’re planning on inviting guests to your wedding, it’s important to put yourself in their shoes. "For most folks, attending a wedding means making travel plans, booking childcare, or taking time off work," Suki noted. "Generally, people don’t attend a wedding simply because they’re getting free food and drinks, but because they love and support the people who are getting married. If being surrounded by the people you love is important to you, wouldn’t you want to show your appreciation for them by treating them to a good time on your wedding day?"
"Of course you don’t HAVE to provide free food, drinks, or entertainment, just like you don’t have to have a ton of guests at your wedding!" Suki added. "If the whole idea of having to entertain guests is overwhelming but you still want to celebrate with loved ones, consider having a micro-wedding with just a few people present."
And while it might be tempting to speak up if you attended a loved one’s wedding and didn’t have the best time, Suki noted that what was a mediocre day for you might have been a wonderful experience for the marriers! "Our advice? Let them have their moment. You wouldn’t want to taint what was otherwise a beautiful memory for them," she shared. "But if they invite you to another celebration (say their 10 year anniversary), you’ll know you need to set your own expectations ahead of time by asking questions like, 'Should I eat before the event?'"
Image credits: Taha Samet Arslan / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Most couples want their weddings to be remembered fondly by all who attended
While it’s not always possible to prioritize guests while wedding planning, Brides.com notes that there are some considerations that couples can make early on in the planning process to make everyone’s lives easier. First, try to select a convenient day and time for the wedding. Keep in mind holidays and other events that might get in the way. For example, if there’s a huge music festival in your city the same weekend as your wedding, guests might struggle to find affordable accommodation.
As with everything else in life, communication is key. If you won’t be able to accommodate a guest’s allergies or dietary preferences, alert them ahead of time, so they can pack their own food. It’s wise to provide attendees with an itinerary prior to the wedding as well, so they have an idea of what will happen when. And if you have a website for the big day, be clear about transportation, parking, accommodation and more to keep your guests in the loop.
Nobody wants their wedding to be remembered as an unfortunate event or a running joke. But there are steps brides and grooms can take prior to the big day to prevent that. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing wedding fails, look no further than right here!
Many readers assured the parent that they didn't do anything wrong
However, some thought the parent had been a bit too harsh
