We all make mistakes while growing up. Some bigger than others. What's important is that we learn right from wrong and understand that our actions have consequences. One mom says she was disappointed when she found out her 10-year-old daughter had stolen a Game Boy from her cousin. But what really angered her was the child's cheeky attitude after being caught.
The mother has now decided to teach the kid a brutal lesson by letting her save up for a Nintendo Switch, which she really wants, but then making her give it to the person she stole from. Netizens are divided, with some even blaming the mom for lousy parenting.
Not only did she steal her cousin's Game Boy, but she also tried to blame her sisters for the crime
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Now, her mom is letting her save towards the Nintendo she's been begging for, only to make her give it to her cousin
Image credits: Erik Mclean (not the actual photo)
The mom later responded to people who accused her of being a "lazy parent"
Image credits: heartofbronzexxviiii
She provided a lot more info and context while engaging with netizens
Why do some children steal, and what should parents do about it? Experts weigh in...
When a child helps themselves to something that doesn't belong to them, aka steals, they may be dealing with an underlying issue.
That's according to experts in child development, like John Bowlby and Donald Winnicott, who say stealing is often an attempt to rectify a deprivation. This could be time, emotional commitment, or attention that the child feels they're not getting. Stealing most likely signals that the child feels they are not getting something they need and are being treated unfairly.
"Children often express their unmet needs through behavior rather than words," explains U.K.-based The Therapeutic Consultants (TTC). They add that recognizing these signs early can help parents address the root causes effectively.
"Look for patterns in behavior, such as frequent lying about seemingly trivial matters or consistent stealing of specific items," advise the experts. "These actions can indicate deeper emotional or psychological needs that are not being met."
They also suggest creating a safe space for your child to express their feelings without fear of punishment, saying that trust and open communication are crucial. Instead of anger and punishment, the experts advise using positive reinforcement to acknowledge their honesty and efforts to communicate.
The gravity of the situation often depends on the age of the child. Very young children, for example, don’t have any concept of ownership. If they see a sweet, a toy, or anything else that interests them, they'll probably just take it.
By age two years, kids begin to understand ownership, but only in the sense of what already belongs to them. Between three and five years old, they start to learn that other people also own things.
According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, parents should actively teach their children about property and honesty between the ages of three and five years old.
"Model good behavior around respecting property, which means not bringing home extra stationery from work, or bragging about the cooked chicken on the supermarket trolley hook you got away with not paying for," explain child psychology experts Natalie Gately and Shane Rogers.
According to Gately and Rogers, the first step is to stay calm and avoid overreacting. "Shouting or punishing children harshly can make them more likely to steal again in the future," they write. The next step is to talk to the child, ask them why they stole, and listen to their response.
The experts advise trying your best to understand what motivated them to steal and address any underlying issues. Take this opportunity to explain why stealing is wrong and the consequences it can have now and in the future.
"Tell them stealing is wrong. It’s important to teach children the importance of honesty and trust. Explain how stealing can break trust between people and damage relationships," advise Gately and Rogers.
They also suggest removing the stolen goods so that the child doesn't benefit from the theft or keep any goods. "Sometimes parents may decide not to return goods for fear of the consequences, but your child should not be able to keep the goods," they say.
You'll want to set clear consequences so that your child understands there are consequences to their actions. "This could include returning the stolen item, apologizing to the person they stole from, and completing chores or community service to make amends," the experts suggest.
They stress that it's important to avoid scare tactics. "Don’t threaten to tell the police or continually label them as naughty, a thief or bad person," they explain. "Once you have dealt with it, avoid bringing it up again."
Finally, monitor your child's behavior to make sure they don't steal again. You can also praise them when they make good choices and show honesty.
If all else fails, seek professional help from a psychologist who can help you get to the root cause and stop the stealing before it's too late.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Many applauded the mother and felt the punishment fit the crime
One person, who admitted to acting out as a kid, thought that the mom and daughter were both jerks
"It's partially your fault": a few netizens had harsh words for the mom
Some felt that nobody is to blame
