We lived together with our parents throughout our entire childhood and teenage years. We observed them, followed their instructions, and never considered whether they were right or wrong. Even if we learn as children to do something that is extremely strange and that no one else does, we will never understand that it is strange or improper to others because as long as our parents do this, it’s right. However, once we begin to live with our partner or move out on our own, we realize how weird some things are and how different our ways of thinking are from other people. And because of this, some people claim that after you get acclimated to living alone, moving back in with your parents might be challenging. Everybody has their beliefs and rules at their own home that you have to follow.
More info: Reddit
Woman hasn’t slept separately from her wife for 9 years, comes to visit mom, who says it’s rude to sleep together with your partner when you are a guest
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
Woman questions whether it was wrong of her to prepare separate rooms for her daughter and her wife
Image Credits: u/Dry_League_4275
Image credits: Ali Inay (not the actual image)
Mom felt devastated after her daughter decided to stay at a hotel
Recently, a 60-year-old woman published her story on one of the subreddit groups asking if she was being a jerk for preparing separate beds for her daughter and her wife. The post immediately went viral and caused a hot discussion. This story already has 11.7K upvotes and more than 4.2K comments.
The woman begins her story by stating that she has a daughter, 31 years old, who has a wife and they have a son together. The mother further emphasizes that she always goes to visit her daughter, who lives in a different state. One day the daughter told her mother that she wanted to come see her and some friends. She then asked if she could stay over at her mother's house, which was obviously not a problem for the woman.
And now, the main action starts. Once they arrived, the author mentioned that she had prepared different rooms for everybody. She was immediately interrupted by her daughter, who said that the mother was being ridiculous and that she wanted to share a bed with her wife because they hadn't slept apart in 9 years. What makes this situation look even weirder is that the OP mentioned that she did the same thing with her son and his wife when they came to visit.
After this event, the author's daughter and her wife arranged for a hotel and left to stay there. OP was hurt by her daughter’s decision and asked the audience if she was being a jerk.
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual image)
The community members did not make the author feel better, as they leaned towards the daughter’s side with their verdict. They could not understand the reason why a married couple should sleep separately. At first, folks thought that the mother was homophobic, however, after seeing that the brother and wife had the same rules, changed their mind: “Started off thinking 'homophobe' ended up thinking 'weirdo' but hey, props to OP for applying this hangup equally across both.” Another theory the commenters considered was that the woman is probably acting in this way because she has a rule: “No sex in my house.”
However, later, the OP provided a little bit more information that led to her action: “That is how my family, my husband's family and my culture views this. It isn't something I'm comfortable with because I've been this way my whole life.” Folks were no less surprised as they never heard of such a culture that doesn’t allow married couples with kids to sleep together if they are not at their own home. Additionally, when the author was asked if she and her husband follow the same rule, she noted that if they are guests in someone’s house, they don’t sleep together.
For context, according to sleep expert Wendy M. Troxel, PhD, based on a survey conducted in the US, more than 60% of us sleep with our partners.
Image credits: Bruno Maceiras (not the actual image)
However, when sleep is assessed objectively, people who sleep with a spouse actually sleep worse. In fact, you can attribute up to 50% of your sleep disturbances to your partner's snoring. But when you ask those people who have trouble sleeping, "Do you prefer to sleep with your partner or do you prefer to sleep alone?" the majority respond that they prefer to sleep with their partner. This shows that, even when it interferes with our sleep, our social brain prioritizes our need for security and intimacy at night.
It is also interesting to discuss how sleeping next to your partner can actually improve your mental health, according to a study. It can lower levels of depression, anxiety, stress, reduce insomnia and increase satisfaction with life and relationships. Additionally, Dr. Romanoff explains that poor quality sleep is the one of the most common symptoms of mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety.
So, guys, what do you think about this situation? Maybe you also have some weird rules that you have to follow at your parents’ house?
Folks in the comment did not support the author's decision and voted that she was being the jerk in this situation
