One man, named ‘Domooooo’ on Twitter, decided to post a picture of himself seemingly covered in red face paint or makeup, the caption stating “see this…this is why I wanted boys”, implying that his daughter or multiple of them had created the beautiful drawings on their dad’s face. The tweet has gained a lot of traction, at least 118K likes and dozens of dads sharing their own experiences, whether that be hairdos, pedicures, or more makeup. In my opinion, they all look fabulous!
Regardless of the sour expressions on their faces and the common dad captioning the pictures with “I feel your pain”, their kids look to be having the best time getting to spend it with their dads, the girls in the pictures either getting hugs or providing a kiss to their dad’s colored cheek. It just shows the importance of having such quality time and building a strong bond with a father figure and science agrees.
As written on Very Well Family, a daughter's relationship with her father can play a key role in her psychological development, providing the foundation to becoming a confident and self-assured woman. D. Scott Sibley, Associate Professor at Northern Illinois University, argues that a father’s presence in their daughter’s life aids in preventing negative outcomes, such as teenage pregnancy, dating violence, and risky sexual behavior, especially if the relationship is based on open communication and trust.
You might think, ‘well, isn’t it enough to have a good relationship with her mom to aid in all that?’ and it’s a good question, but the mother’s role has often been exaggerated and the father’s role diminished, placing both of them into rigid societal and family roles, but now that the family model has become more fluid, more attention has been paid to the importance of the father.
As described on Hello Weldon, “while both sexes look at how parents act, boys tend to see how a man is supposed to act but daughters often take away how a man should treat her.” So when the father can exude the strength and power that society attributes to masculinity towards his daughter, through spending quality time together, she can take on these attributes and become a confident little rockstar, able to take on the world, letting no one treat her badly.
However, if we’re looking at the social constructs of masculinity, we cannot ignore the recently forged discussion regarding toxic masculinity and its potential implications. Amy Morin, psychotherapist and author, defines toxic masculinity as a collection of certain cultural pressures for men to behave in a certain way in order to be considered ‘manly’, which can result in domineering, homophobic, and aggressive behavior.
Often exaggerated masculine traits that many cultures have widely accepted or glorified tend to fall into one of three categories: toughness, anti-femininity, and power. Notions of physical strength, emotional indifference, and gaining respect through status are few of the traits that define masculinity as a whole, which aren’t necessarily bad or wrong; just that an excessive push for it may lead to unwanted outcomes for both the individual and society.
According to Amy, toxic masculinity glorifies unhealthy habits, with beliefs “stating that ‘self-care is for women’ and men should treat their bodies like machines by skimping on sleep, working out even when they’re injured, and pushing themselves to their physical limits.” It also discourages men from seeing doctors, asking for help, and the inherent emotionlessness of masculinity may lead to mental health issues. But, thankfully, society is starting to walk towards a more healthy future, regardless of how slow the steps seem to be, and one of those ways is through makeup.
Megan O’Grady wrote in The New York Times that it’s quite ironic “that makeup has now become a symbol for a dissolving gender binary when, for much of the 20th century, it was just one more thing that divided the sexes.” It’s never been a woman-only thing to embellish oneself, quite the contrary, however, we can thank Beau Brummel for the starkness and lack of color that defines the masculine look of today.
Megan describes makeup as an inexpensive tool for self expression, allowing all those who use it to delve into the conundrum of self expression, whether to fit in or to stand out, “to feel, at long last, liberated from shrunken notions of gender and grossly restrictive social confines.” At the end of the day - it is just paint. What we attribute to it is deeply embedded in our perception of its meaning, whether a mode of expression or a form of definition.
In the end, all those are taught to your kids whilst they’re still finding and defining who they are themselves. The Raising Children Network states that any creative activity can boost a child’s confidence, teach them social skills, help them understand and express their emotions, and learn about the world around them.
It is especially helpful for the parents to get involved when the child needs some extra help or encouragement, or just wants to share in the activity with their favorite people. It can help strengthen bonds, build trust, and bring the parents closer to their own childhood selves.
Ultimately, the goal is to have fun and make memories that last a lifetime, whether that be with your little girls or boys. Wayne Parker, a life coach and mentor, states that you should “follow your child's cues if they show an interest in learning something new, even if you know little about it. Show your child that learning is a lifetime journey, and it's never too late to pick up a new hobby or skill.” Don’t let outdated rules stop you from having fun and building lasting relationships with your kids, because they won’t remember how manly their dad was, but rather, how loving and caring they are.
We wish the best of luck to these dads in their adventures with their daughters, who they clearly love lots. But let’s also move towards a society where dads don’t have to worry about their social standing whilst moving away from the rigid structures of masculinity and allowing kids to delve into whatever they wish, whether that be a boy playing with makeup, or a girl playing with toy cars.
