Losing someone is always hard. So, it's human nature to find ways to cope with the grief that comes with the loss.
This young woman lost her twin years ago. To this day, she soothes herself by watching his Instagram videos and pretending he's talking to her. She acknowledges that it isn't the healthiest thing, but it helps her to stay grounded. Unfortunately, her boyfriend didn't like this habit of hers and decided to end it, but instead ended their relationship.
More info: Reddit
Grief is a complicated process and it shouldn't be rushed by anyone in any way
Image credits: Darya Sannikova / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman lost her twin brother a few years ago, and ever since she has watched videos from his Instagram account to deal with her grief
Image credits: Arina Krasnikova / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her boyfriend didn't like this habit and always urged her to end it, but when she didn't do it fast enough he blocked the twin's account on her phone without asking
Image credits: Throwrainstabro1
When confronted about it, he said that he thought that the woman was in love with her brother, which really hurt her, since it wasn't the truth, so she started to consider ending the relationship
6 years ago, the OP lost her twin brother due to a terrible accident on the freeway.
Many know that usually, twins are uniquely close, as they spend most of their time together from when they’re conceived. So, it’s no surprise a strong bond develops.
Imagine then how hard it is to lose someone so close to you. It might feel like a part of you is missing. After all, it’s basically a double loss – both of a person and part of yourself.
The author’s twin was an avid Instagram and Snapchat user, even though the sister only followed him on the former. On there he posted content about his life and his singing. After his passing, the account was left untouched. Well, that’s what we assume, since it wasn’t deleted and the author doesn’t mention memorialization.
So, the woman liked going to this untouched account and watching her brother’s videos. She acknowledges that it wasn’t healthy, but it became a habit for her.
Bored Panda’s interviewee, certified EMDR therapist Khalida Himes, said that when a person loses their life in a tragic accident, like the OP’s brother, it can make the grief even harder: “When the loss of a loved one is sudden, it can disrupt their lives for months and even years, and they may find it difficult to regain a sense of ‘normalcy’ and report a sense of meaningless, hopelessness, and uncontrollable despair.”
There are many ways to deal with grief. As we saw, the OP has a coping mechanism of watching videos. Others join support groups or go to therapy – for example, EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy.
Our interviewee described it as “A form of psychotherapy that helps people deal with trauma, stress, and anxiety, and reprocess memories and make new connections, which ultimately reduces the distress associated with trauma and stressful events.”
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She added: “Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR is thought to work at the physical level by using eye movements to stimulate and reorganize the emotional systems in the brain, such as the limbic system. This reorganization can change how your brain responds to distressing memories. The goal is reprocessing the traumatic event so it no longer controls your life.”
Well, we aren’t sure whether the OP took any therapeutic measures to deal with her grief. We only know about her coping mechanism, which annoyed her boyfriend. He was urging the woman to quit it and she started doing it gradually, but it wasn’t enough for him.
One evening, she noticed that her brother’s account was blocked on her phone. It wasn’t possible to get it back since no one could log on to it and accept her re-follow.
Apparently, the boyfriend did it because it seemed to him that the woman was in love with her brother and he wanted to nip it in the bud. This was very far from the truth – they were simply siblings who were close because they were twins, nothing more.
This made the woman question whether she should continue this relationship – accusing your significant other of incest and minimizing their grief isn’t a part of a healthy relationship. Netizens agreed with such a sentiment and advised her to get out.
So, she listened to them and her gut and kicked the man out. He breached her trust and then proceeded to tell her she was overreacting. Plus, some Reddit users helped her to get into her brother’s account and now she’s the owner of it, which means that the videos weren’t lost forever.
It’s good that she has a piece of her brother she misses so much to deal with her grief. Living grief is tough and it’s good that she has something to help her. Maybe one day she’ll be able to live without these videos, but no one should rush this decision.
People online agreed that she do that, and in the update, she informed them that she had kicked him out and gotten back her brother's Instagram account
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
