We all crave attention, so it’s not surprising that we choose to express our opinions (delusional and not so much) online. No wonder oversharing is quite a common online phenomenon. A study published in 2022 that surveyed 410 undergrad students found that more than 90% of them have seen someone overshare online and over 70% have unknowingly done it themselves.
We asked Dr. Rabon how oversharing in real life differs from doing it online, and it seems that there are several components that make it more common when sitting behind a keyboard. Firstly, social media encourages you to be generous with personal information. “We are influenced by what we see other people sharing and feel the need to share as well,” Dr. Rabon told Bored Panda.
Another thing that plays a part in it is detachment and immediate consequences. “Sharing a lot of personal details one-on-one is an intimate and, can be, an anxiety-provoking situation. However, when we post a status update, story, or video, <…> we are simultaneously talking to everyone and nobody at the same time. We don't have to see the facial expressions or reactions of others when we share, like we do in person, which lessens the feelings of awkwardness or anxiety.”
Add instant gratification provided by likes, comments, and shares and sprinkle some anonymity on top, and you have quite an appealing social concoction.
According to Dr. Rabon, in some cases, people overshare to soothe negative emotions, too. For example, anxious people tend to seek reassurance from others and they may overshare on social media to get it. They also may be more likely to stay on top of the latest trends or news as they might suffer from the fear of missing out.
Loneliness may also be responsible for oversharing. “Online platforms allow for immediate feedback, says Dr. Rabon. If people are lonely and seeking connection, they may be more likely to overshare online <…> to feel less alone.”
So, is oversharing all bad? Dr. Rabon says that there are some positives. “Depending on what is shared, one potential benefit of sharing personal information is increased connections with others online who are similar to you. Many people who form relationships with others online do so by sharing about themselves to make connections.”
She also adds that for individuals that are struggling with their mental health, sharing their experiences online might provide support that they need. That can be especially important if they are hesitant to talk about their struggles in person.
However, Dr. Rabon is quick to point out that the negatives tend to outweigh the positives. According to her, the biggest risk people take when oversharing is safety: “People share all kinds of personal information online, including things that could be potential passwords, their current location, information about their kids, or venting posts about their relationship. It only takes that information getting into the hands of the wrong person to risk your safety.”
Then there’s a risk of losing your job because of mentioning confidential information, venting about your boss, or admitting to doing things you weren’t supposed to be doing. Dr. Rabon also adds that oversharing can have social consequences as well, such as rumors being spread, gossip, or social isolation.
The good thing is that there are ways to curb your need to broadcast your life. As oversharing often stems from powerful emotions such as anger or sadness, Dr. Rabon suggests stepping away from the phone before making your opinions public: “One strategy I like to use is making the post/video but saving it as a draft and then going back the next day and deciding if it is something I still want to post. If it is not, once I have calmed down, I will delete it and know that the post was motivated by emotions, not logic.”
Another strategy is asking yourself "Would I be okay with my grandma, boss, or [insert any person here] seeing this post?" If not, then maybe you reconsider posting it. If you notice patterns of oversharing, you can also limit your social media usage as research suggests that people who spend more time on social media are more likely to overshare.
