Sometimes various life coaches advise in difficult situations to simply "reset everything" and move on, to start with a clean slate, leaving all unresolved issues and unpleasant memories in the past. Well, sometimes this really works - but what if among the "unresolved issues" from your past is your own child?
Our narrator today, the user u/Historical_Archer513, faced a similar situation when his younger stepbrother asked him for money to financially support his pregnant girlfriend. He previously had a conflict with his ex in the past regarding child support of his first son. Everything, as usual, ended with a huge family drama, but for now let's just cut to the chase.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a younger stepbrother who got divorced a few years ago leaving his ex and a son
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The guy had a major spat with his ex over child support and then went off the grid completely
Image credits: Historical_Archer513
Image credits: noohsaob974 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently he called the author claiming that his new girlfriend was pregnant and begging him to give them some financial support
Image credits: Historical_Archer513
Image credits: korrawinj / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author agreed but demanded he started seeing his first son first - in order to get this money
Image credits: Historical_Archer513
The absentee dad got incredibly offended and accused the stepbrother of not caring of him at all
The Original poster (OP) is a 40-year-old man and has a stepbrother who is 8 years younger. This guy was once married to a woman called "Emily," they had a son, but then irreconcilable differences destroyed the marriage. Well, you all probably know how it all happens...
For some time, the stepbrother stayed involved in his son's life, but then he and Emily had a big fight about child support, and since then he hasn’t seen the kid at all. Unlike the author - he, being quite a well-off person, sometimes helps his nephew and his mother, covering the boy's healthcare.
And then, one fine day, the stepbrother called and shared two pieces of news. The first - he and his new girlfriend are expecting a child. The second - since the woman doesn’t work, and the stepbrother himself has a low salary, he asked our hero to help them financially. At least at first - until everything becomes more stable.
The original poster responded to this that he was not against helping, but in response gave the stepbro an ultimatum - first, he must start seeing his son again. Moreover, the author said that he was ready to help and partially pay for that child support... but the stepbrother would hear none of it.
He even accused the author of being biased in his conflict with his ex-wife, and of not caring for him and his new family. As for the original poster, he simply believes that jumping into having another kid when the first son was literally abandoned looks at least inappropriate.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
By the way, in addition to the obvious personal reasons, our hero's stepbrother may have another, purely mercantile, reason to have a baby. The thing is that the OP noted that his stepbrother has a low salary, and that he and the ex had previously had a confrontation over child support. Well, this could actually change the case drastically.
So, depending on the state, if the assigned child support for the first child is more than 50% of the parent's income, and they have another child to support, this may be a reason to revise the amount of child support downwards. Of course, this will be decided in court, but the hapless dad could very well try to use this argument in his favor.
Be that as it may, the stepbrother is clearly trying to overuse the original poster’s kindness and responsiveness, many people in the comments are pretty much sure. Commenters are simply calling on the author to stop giving money to his deadbeat brother and, if he’s so attached to the family, to just continue helping his little nephew.
As for the stepbrother, many responders didn’t actually spare critical and sarcastic arrows towards him. "You’d be the hero here if you offered to pay for a vasectomy and he agreed,” someone wrote quite wittily. In any case, the opinion of the Internet is unanimous - the OP is doing absolutely the right thing here. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this case?
Most commenters simply sided with the author and urged him to better fund his little nephew
