Body shaming is a very sensitive topic, especially these days. I believe you will not be surprised if I tell you that 79% of women have dealt with negative body image. Yes, it’s sad. So discussions about body sizes usually end up making us feel worse about ourselves.
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No different was one Reddit user's discussion with her daughter-in-law, who received an honest answer after wondering why she’s gaining weight, which led to a big argument in the family.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes it’s better not to give any answer to some questions to avoid future arguments
Image credits: Andres Ayrton (not the actual photo)
Woman shares that her son and her daughter-in-law are currently staying with her, she cooks for them and has a 'serve yourself' policy
She added that her DIL is overweight and eats a lot but kept saying that it doesn’t make sense that the OP is much smaller than she is
Image credits: Claudio Schwarz (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Agile-Satisfaction75
Well, the hostess simply said that of course her DIL is bigger than her due to eating much more, which caused a big argument
A couple days ago, a Reddit user took her story online, asking community members if she was being a jerk for telling her daughter-in-law that she’s obviously bigger due to the difference in how much they eat. The post caught a lot of attention and gathered more than 9K upvotes and 3.3K comments.
The original poster (OP) explains that her son and his wife are staying with her in order to save money. She adds that she cooks, doesn’t use alternatives for lower calories and has established a ‘serve yourself’ policy. Now, OP explains that her daughter-in-law is overweight, but also eats much more than she does.
However, the whole argument arose after DIL kept going on that it doesn’t make sense that OP is much smaller and she can’t understand why she keeps gaining weight. Well, she straightforwardly told her that she eats more, so obviously she’s bigger. OP shares that this situation caused an argument and she was accused of shaming her DIL and not being a good host.
Community members didn’t come to a decision due to lacking information about the whole interaction and discussed that DIL shouldn’t ask questions that she doesn't want answers to. “DIL actually needs to be told the truth instead of pretending she doesn’t understand,” one user wrote. “3 chicken breasts in one meal and she doesn't know why she is big? She has an issue…” another added.
Image credits: Andres Ayrton (not the actual photo)
“In an ideal world, weight would be a neutral characteristic about people, right up there with hair color or height,” Rachael Hartley, a certified intuitive eating counselor and the author of Gentle Nutrition, told Bored Panda. “Unfortunately, we live in a very fatphobic culture where stereotypes and stigma about people in higher-weight bodies persist, where comments about weight and size can have a major impact on body image and self-esteem.“
She adds that it can also feel uncomfortable and objectifying when someone shares commentary on body size, and even more hurtful when their commentary is attached to a stereotype or myth, like the idea that someone is a higher weight because they eat too much or that they "did it to themselves."
Also, in regards to this story, Rachael notes that while it probably wasn’t the best idea for DIL to ask why her MIL is thinner as questions like those could open up a whole bag of worms, especially if she is already sensitive about weight, it’s also important to point out that the couple probably is not observing every meal and snack the other is eating.
Now, let’s look from a nutritional perspective at how portion sizes can actually impact an individual's health and weight over time. “Higher caloric intake, from larger portions or more energy-dense foods, is one of many factors that can influence someone's weight,” she says.
“Many people think that weight is simply calories in versus calories out, but there are actually over 100 different factors that can influence weight, the most significant being genetics. Other than genetics, sleep patterns, medical conditions, stress levels, physical activity, and even the gut microbiome can impact body size.”
Even though variations in calorie intake from meal to meal or day to day don't really matter as weight growth is actually a process that takes place over a longer period of time, eating much more than your body needs on a daily basis might lead to weight increase. “That said, due to differences in genetics, some people's weight is much more stable and able to adapt to higher caloric intake,” she emphasizes.
Finally, Rachael added that the MIL may be basing judgements off a single meal a day, which could be much larger if the DIL is restricting all day and overeating at dinner. “While it certainly is possible that the DIL is just eating more than the MIL, it also could be much more complex than that.” And what do you guys think about the whole situation? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors asked the woman for more details about the whole situation and shared their support
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
