For most people, having an official job to make a living is a given thing. However, some don’t understand that occupations like a housewife or a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) can be equally as, and sometimes more, significant and demanding, even if they don’t bring home the paycheck.
Reddit user u/Additional_Bad_1355, a homemaker, recently shared a story with the AITA community about forbidding her daughter-in-law (DIL) from visiting due to her uncalled-for comments regarding the author’s profession. She wanted to know if she was right to do so, and you can read all about it below!
More info: Reddit
A homemaker told her DIL she was no longer welcome after she wouldn't stop making judgemental comments regarding her profession during every visit
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
The girl had a problem with her husband's mom since the moment they met, and she would let her know that every chance she got
Image credits: SHVETS producion (not the actual photo)
Fed up with being called lazy, the poster tried to talk with her son and his wife, but when the comments kept coming, she told her she was not welcome anymore
Image credits: Kelsey Chance (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Additional_Bad_1355
The woman's son and DIL called her a jerk for kicking them out, so she came to the AITA community for an outside opinion
The original poster (OP) starts the story by telling us that she is a housewife who used to be a SAHM when her children were growing up, and right away cuts to the fact that Beth, her DIL, had a problem with her since the moment they got to know each other.
It wasn’t more than 30 minutes into their first encounter when Beth learned what her husband’s mom does and started making scornful comments about it. From asking how the OP can be tired if she doesn’t work to saying that it’s no wonder she had time to make a pie while staying at home all day, the remarks never stopped.
As this went on, the author concluded that it was probably due to jealousy and, getting no solid answer about this when confronting her DIL, gave her an ultimatum: Stop, or you’ll be asked to leave.
It worked, or so it seemed at first. When, not long after, another judgemental comment found its way out, the OP reached her breaking point and kicked Beth out. Unfortunately, this also resulted in the author gaining her son’s disfavor, with him calling her a jerk on the way out with his wife.
When it came to the AITA verdict, the community deemed the woman Not The A-hole (NTA). But while most said that although her DIL is entitled to her opinion, it was rude to make those comments, some were questioning whether she’s really wrong.
To the ones doubting, in the later edit and the comment replies, the OP said that although this is a far easier job than SAHM, which she also did in the past, being a housewife by no means equals laziness. She always makes homemade meals, cleans the house daily, takes care of the dogs and the paperwork at home, works out, volunteers, and does other similar things, all of it so that her husband can focus only on his work and not worry about anything else.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
In the quest to deepen our understanding of what it means to be a homemaker, we came across April J Harris’s blog. This writer, among other things, is a professional housewife. In one of her articles, she talks about the controversiality of this profession, mentioning that while some see people like her as valued members of society, others blame them for insulting the women who worked hard to obtain equal rights and accuse them of undoing their progress.
Harris says that housewives and SAHMs are no less professionals than anyone else. This job requires creative problem-solving, multi-tasking, advanced project management, diplomacy, caretaking, and plenty of other skills.
In addition, staying home with children involves many sacrifices. While this type of work may be a lifestyle they seek for some, for many others, it is usually not an easy choice, and sometimes, not a choice at all, regardless of whether they come to love it with time.
Many housewives simply can’t afford to go back to their jobs when their children are born, as their salary can’t make up for the prices of childcare, transportation, and other necessities. At the same time, those who can, more often than not, end up spending most of their earning on their kids anyway.
Yet, with all that in mind, the traditional media still tends to portray a homemaker as a spoiled, wealthy, and self-centered woman who is too lazy to get a “real” job, giving them a bad reputation they don’t deserve. According to the article, what we see on TV bears no resemblance to day-to-day life for most of them and only really plays to the insecurities of many women who struggle to carve their desired paths in this world that is still very much patriarchal.
Ultimately, it’s safe to say that being a housewife and SAHM are noble professions. But they’re absolutely not for everyone. There are no two identical people in this world, and therefore, no one else but the person themselves can know what’s best for them. Everybody is entitled to their opinion, but it is never a good idea to openly judge someone without knowing their circumstances, especially in their own home.
But now, please join in and share your thoughts down below!
Redditors support the poster and agree that the only jerk in the story was her DIL
