The history of humanity has many ways to hurt a person without resorting to outright insults. Unfortunately, people have been very inventive in creating such passive-aggressive techniques for centuries. And now we often suffer the consequences of this ingenuity...
For example, the user u/Superb_Top8222, the author of today's tale, was unlucky - his mother, for some unknown reason, didn't get along with his girlfriend, and the situation didn't change after their wedding. However, unlike many husbands from our stories, here the author clearly sided with his wife in this conflict.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post recently married his long-term girlfriend, but, alas, she didn't get along with his mom at all
Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man expected things to get better after the wedding - but his expectations were definitely wrong
Image credits: Superb_Top8222
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author's wife is a vegan, but when they recently came over for dinner with his mom, they found no vegan meals served
Image credits: Superb_Top8222
Image credits: Daniel Frese / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The host pretended to act innocent, but the man decided it was the last straw - they just stood up and left
Image credits: Superb_Top8222
The mom dubbed it 'disrespectful' to her cooking but the author was adamant that he did the right thing by sticking up for his spouse
So, the Original Poster (OP) recently married his long-term fiancée, and one of the first visits the spouses made as a married couple was to the author's mother. However, it cannot be said that this visit was very joyful for the OP's wife.
The thing is that the two women never really got along, and the wedding, contrary to the author's expectations, didn't change the situation in any way. The dinner that the OP's mom prepared for them was further confirmation of this.
The lady knew perfectly well that her newly made daughter-in-law is a vegan, but when the couple saw the set table, there was not a single vegan meal there. Nothing that the author's wife could eat. Even the vegetable soup was cooked in meat broth - "just to make it more tasty..."
The author's mother tried to feign surprise, but she was apparently a bad actress. And after the sarcastic suggestion that the daughter-in-law could just pick the shrimp out of the jambalaya and eat the salad, our hero simply stood up and said that he and his wife were leaving. They left without waiting for dinner.
Yes, it was the author's decision - his wife tried to save the evening by saying that she wouldn't mind eating only a salad, but when the MIL said that her son's wife could "eat normally for one day" - that was the last straw.
The host was indignant after the couple left, calling it blatant disrespect - after all, she spent long hours at the stove, preparing all these dishes. But the author was no longer able to stop - he reasonably objected that she should have thought about his wife's food preferences.
In general, if the original poster expected that the first joint visit after the wedding would end with a reconciliation between the wife and mother, then he was definitely wrong...
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
"Unfortunately, many mothers try to 'test' the feelings of their married sons in this way. To check who he will choose in this confrontation - his wife or his mom. That is, in fact, adult women behave in some ways like toddlers, who also test the boundaries set by parents," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
"In any case, it was just demonstrative. An attempt to show the son's wife that his mom cooks exclusively for him, and not for her. And the fact that this man sided with his spouse, with his new family - this is quite a good sign for their relationship in the future."
"As for the relationship with the mother, the sooner she realizes that her son is already an adult, he has his own family, his own partner, whom he chose and with whom he wants to live his life together - the better. Both for him and his wife, and for the mother herself," Irina summarizes.
Well, many people in the comments to the original post even urged the author to go no contact with his mom after this incident. "Time to go very LC or NC with your mom until she decides to treat your wife with respect," one of the commenters suggested. "Your mother knew exactly what she was doing," another person's quite sure.
In any case, the respondents believe, based on their own life experience, that this, alas, is only the beginning... "[You were wrong] for expecting your wife and mom's relationship to get better just because you got married," someone wisely presumed. "You're in for a long ride, my guy." And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this point of view?
People in the comments praised the man for such a decision, but presumed that it's just the beginning of a long-lasting feud...
