It's no secret that every person has their own skeletons in the closet, gloomy or not, secrets that are better not known to others. Sometimes these are just some small facts that, according to people, can cast a shadow on them in the eyes of others.
On the other hand, we are all human and we all make mistakes. And just like that, we want to look better than we are. Especially in such an important and responsible business as cooking. Who among us hasn't done little dirty tricks in the kitchen while no one is watching? Who hasn't passed off store-bought sauces as an old family recipe?
Some time ago, the AskReddit community faced one simple question: "What's your dirty kitchen secret?" The Original Poster herself was the first to admit - once she dumped out a whole bottle of her husband's nice balsamic vinegar, deciding that it was old clutter, and then "honestly" joined her husband in looking for it all over the kitchen. The thread became very popular, with about 5.4K upvotes and nearly 2.7K comments.
Bored Panda collected for you a selection of the most original kitchen confessions from various people. Some of them are real masterpieces, and some can turn into very useful advice for any home cook. By the way, if you need any culinary ideas - here's another one of our posts about "secret" ingredients when cooking, but for now, feel free to write your comments and maybe show something dark that is hiding in the back corner of your soul... and your kitchen as well.
#1 Differences In Cooking For Yourself And For Others
When I cook for other people, I’ll sterilize everything and buy most ingredients day of.
When I cook for myself, I’ll pick things up off of the floor and use any ingredient that passes the smell test.
397points
#2 Losing One's Passion For Cooking As The Family Grows Larger
As my family grows up and their various tastes/trends change I find it virtually impossible to please everyone or really anyone so I've basically lost my entire passion for cooking which used to be huge and now it's a freaking chore and they've choked one of my remaining pleasures right out of my life. I resent every bite that I cook. I've lost my mojo
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321points
#3 Hiding Chocolate From Kids
I ordered 250$ worth of Belgium chocolate online and after it arrived, I hid the box from my kids.
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286points
#4 The Secret Ingredient Is Just Bought In The Store
My popular spinach dip recipe is just a specific store-brand deli item that I add things to (like sour cream, seasoning, etc).
Why don't I make it myself? No idea, this just seems easier.
Why don't I tell anyone? The pleasure of knowing I'm full of lies.
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265points
#5 Making Tomato Soup With Milk Though Being Asked Not To
On grilled cheese sandwich night:
Wife's grandma: Make the tomato soup with water, not milk!
Me: *Makes it with milk*
Wife's Grandma: This is how I like it. I hate it with milk.
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232points
#6 Drinking Half The Batch Of Caramel Sauce
I was inspired by Caramel week on the Great British Bake Off and made a batch of caramel sauce. It was so good I did shots with it until I drank half the batch.
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224points
#7 Using Mayonnaise In Spite Of Being Asked Not To
Had a friend ask me to bring deviled eggs to a party but use non-fat yogurt instead of mayo because they hate mayo.
I used mayo and didn't tell them. They loved the deviled eggs.
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210points
#8 Baking A Lot Without Even Tasting A Single Bite
I took up sourdough baking and serious home chef cooking prior the pandemic. I was home during throat cancer treatment (I'm fine now!) so I had time on my hands and my sleep schedule was wonky and I found that there was always something on Food Network to watch.
But the radiation killed my taste buds and I can't swallow food.
I've baked hundreds of sourdough loaves, countless baked goods, hundreds of meals from simple to complex.
Haven't. tasted. a. single. bite.
People rave over my new found skills.
Lol.
195points
#9 Using Tomato Sauce Jars
I use jarred tomato sauce.
Ain't nobody got time to f**k with a bunch of tomatoes.
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179points
#10 Using Better Than Bouillon
I throw away my bones and used store bought broth or Better than Bouillon.
174points
#11 A Culinary Masterpiece - Just A Purchase From The Store
The snickerdoodle cookies that everyone loves and asks for every Christmas are just Pillsbury slice and bake sugar cookies. I roll em in a ball, coat them in cinnamon and sugar and call it a day.
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150points
#12 Wiping Out The Pan Without Washing It
Sometimes I just wipe out my non-stick pan with paper towel and put it back in the cupboard rather than washing it.
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145points
#13 Using Nutmeg For Cooking Though One's Wife Hates It
Nutmeg. My wife thinks she hates it. I put it in certain recipes to send them over the edge. She likes to cook, too, and hasn't been able to replicate those particular recipes, which she loves . It doesn't take much to enhance the nuttiness, or compliment the sweetness, or add a layer to the spiciness of certain dishes. For starters, try it in your quiche - nutmeg plays so well with gruyere and Swiss cheese!
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139points
#14 Pretending That Asian Wing Sauce Is Cooked Very Long And Difficult
My Asian wing sauce is equal parts sambal Olek and honey. Cut it with soy sauce.
I told everyone that it’s “a process”
It’s literally the easiest thing I make.
133points
#15 Going Shopping Solo So Don’t Have To Share Meals With Anyone
I eat a fancy lunch at the fancy grocery store when I go shopping there. I purposely go solo so I don’t have to share my luxe meal with anyone.
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133points
#16 Using Jarlic Instead Of Fresh Garlic
On most days I just resort to using Jarlic instead of fresh garlic.
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131points
#17 Used Stovetop Stuffing Instead Of Homemade
This is a long one, the long con if you will.
Last year my girlfriend and I hosted Thanksgiving. Her family being from the Maritimes insisted that the stuffing be homemade, since their stuffing was always homemade. We reluctantly agreed.
We used Stovetop stuffing (the boxed stuff) and come dinner time, we got compliments, naturally. Her sister said "this tastes like stovetop" ... pause... "thank you!" I replied.
Her mother passed away a few months ago, and while we were saying our private goodbyes to her, while she was in a medically induced coma, we admitted that the stuffing was in fact the boxed stuff.
Nobody knows but her, and I love it.
116points
#18 Using Knorr Beef Stock Pot As A "Secret Ingredient"
No one knows I use Knorr Beef Stock Pot in many of my sauces and stews.
Those pots are literally flavor bombs
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115points
#19 Being A Chef But Having A Microwaved Banquet Salsbury Steak For Favorite Food
I'm classically trained, worked in the industry for... S**t since 1994, when I was 15 folding boxes in a pizza place. I've cooked every kind of cuisine imaginable, I've worked in places with michelin stars... And my all time favorite food is microwaved banquet salsbury steak. I'll buy and f**k up a [family size container of them at least once a month. I'm addicted.
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108points
#20 Hiding The Jam From One's Husband
I hide the jam from my husband. He's British and eats it by the spoonful every day, so I had to take measures
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105points