Coming out is an incredibly delicate situation that could go either way. People worry about doing it because of the reactions of their family and friends. That’s why it can often take years for someone to reveal their true identity.
But imagine if the person had to come out to their wife of 4 years, especially if there were kids involved. They’d probably have to deal with the situation sensitively instead of what this man did. Which is to tell his wife he’d been cheating on her for a year and then berate her online.
More info: Reddit
Woman disowned her brother after he came out as gay because of how badly he treated his wife and kids and refused to take responsibility for his actions
Image credits: Anete Lusina (not the actual photo)
Lady said that her brother came out to his wife by saying that he had been cheating on her for a year and that he didn’t want to come out earlier because it might affect his career
Image credits: Ksenia Chernaya (not the actual photo)
The man ended up kicking out his wife and 2YO twins and moved in with one of the guys he was having an affair with, he also maintained very little contact with his kids
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Since he did not want to come out as gay publicly, he told people online that he and his wife were separated and blamed her, saying that she was the unfaithful one
Image credits: u/Ecstatic_Apricot
The poster confronted him and said that it was “disgusting” how he treated his wife and kids, but her brother refused to acknowledge his mistakes and called her a “bigot”
The 21-year-old poster is one of four children. She shared that her older brother told his wife that he is gay. Instead of taking the sensitive route and carefully explaining his feelings, he decided to let her know by informing her about his infidelity. He said that he had been sleeping with 2 different men for 6 months and that he was now sure that he had romantic feelings for men. He also revealed that the cheating had been going on for 1 year.
According to Verywell Mind, “straight spouses of gay or bisexual partners are sometimes the last to know about their mate's sexual orientation. These partners may not share their sexual orientation for many years. Sometimes, though not always, infidelity is part of this pattern.” Unfortunately for his wife, the man had not considered her feelings at all and had chosen to cheat on her as a way to learn about his identity.
Along with dropping this explosive news on his partner, he decided to kick her and his 2-year-old twins out. But this kind of marital destruction isn’t the norm when one partner comes out of the closet. Research shows that there are also instances of mixed-orientation marriages where individuals whose sexual orientations differ choose to remain married. They might come to a satisfactory arrangement and decide to stay together.
A study revealed that there are up to 2 million couples where one person identifies as gay and the other as straight. Although some couples try to make things work out of love for their partner, in this case, the man was clearly not going to give it a shot. He wanted to explore his romantic feelings for men, and once he kicked his wife out, he moved in with one of the guys he was having an affair with.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
When a gay partner reveals their sexual orientation, the other person might go through stages of loss and anger. Studies show that some people even feel more stress when outsiders minimize their traumatic experience simply because their partner came out as gay. The spouse of a gay partner needs to receive non-judgemental support and care so that they can also process their feelings.
Unfortunately, when the poster’s brother decided to come out to his wife, he did not think of how she felt. When she freaked out and asked him how his new identity would affect her life and that of their kids, he got angry with her. The woman suddenly found herself kicked out of their house and also a single parent to two young children.
The worst part of it all was that the man started bashing his wife online. Since he wanted to preserve his identity, he threw her under the bus. He told people that she was the reason for their separation. He made it out to seem like she had cheated on him and that they fell out of love due to that.
Apart from the poster, netizens could not believe the audacity of her brother. They were shocked that he would go to such lengths to conceal his identity. Although her siblings called her “homophobic” for confronting him about his actions, the poster was right to take a stand. Coming out is a difficult process, but it doesn’t give anyone the right to inflict pain on someone else.
How would you have handled this situation if you were in the poster’s place?
People supported the woman and said that she was right to confront her brother, many also added that he should have come out and been sensitive to the needs of his family
