It’s an absolutely fantastic feeling when your partner starts taking an interest in your hobbies, whether that’s health and fitness, movies, travel, video games, or what have you. The more shared activities you have, the closer your bond. And let’s face it, it’s great to share your wisdom with someone who’s eager to learn.
However, it doesn’t always work out. Especially if that interest seems to be just a passing fancy. Redditor u/Purple_Armadillo_461 asked the AITA community whether he was a jerk for ditching his girlfriend at a 5k run after she really wanted to participate together. However, she seemed entirely unprepared, and he “wanted a better time.” Read on for the full story and to see what the internet had to say about all this. Bored Panda reached out to the OP via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
It's vital to have personal goals that you strive toward. It also feels great when your partner supports them
Image credits: RUN 4 FFWPU (not the actual photo)
A guy asked the net for their verdict after he shared why he left his girlfriend behind at a recent race
Image credits: Sinara de Melo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Purple_Armadillo_461
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The man finished the race and realized that his girlfriend had left him
Though shared interests are bound to strengthen any relationship—romantic, platonic, or familial—it really helps if the passion’s there. If the interest is (mostly) faked, the other person is bound to notice it.
Now, nobody’s saying that someone should suddenly become an avid runner overnight just because they think it’s cool that their partner’s picked up running. However, if you ask to be included in the race and get told just how tough all of it is, the least you could do is take part in the same training regimen as they do. And if things get too tough, it’s perfectly fine to bow out. The key point here is open and honest communication.
At the race, the OP was faced with a massive dilemma when his girlfriend was already out of breath within minutes and asked him to walk the rest of the 5k. On the one hand, he could stay with her, showing that he supports her, while sacrificing his personal goal that he trained countless days at dawn to complete.
On the other hand, he could apologize, tell his gf that he loves her, and then finish the race the way he originally intended—pushing himself to the limit. He’d be sending the message that this activity is incredibly important to him and that he is dedicated to reaching his goal. And that’s exactly what he did. His partner, however, was fuming. Not only did she leave him at the race, she also refused to speak to him after he got back home.
Most internet users were entirely on the runner’s side. Some Reddit users pointed out that his girlfriend had invited herself into the race and made a chain of decisions not to prepare for the event properly. A few internet users were also upset that his gf essentially made him choose between her and his hobby.
Good communication is essential in any healthy relationship
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez (not the actual photo)
Others praised u/Purple_Armadillo_461 for being so communicative: he had explained that the run would be tough and put in the effort to include his gf in his training. He also apologized to her during the race. Clearly, this is someone who has high emotional intelligence and values honesty.
At the end of the day, it’s fine to have some aspects of your life that are separate from your partner’s. It’s improbable that every single hobby and preference of yours is going to overlap. Furthermore, it’s healthy to have some privacy: whether you spend the time unplugged and unwinding or focused on a passion project.
As we’ve mentioned before on Bored Panda, transparency is important in long-term relationships, however, it doesn’t have to mean full honesty, all the time. There is a vast difference between privacy and secrecy.
The general rule of thumb is that if something affects your partner, you should be open about it. Try to imagine how they’d feel about the situation. What’s more, secrecy often has feelings of guilt and shame associated with it. Privacy, meanwhile, means that you’re keeping a small sliver of your life out of the public eye: you might not exactly hide it, but you may enjoy spending some time alone. Though if your partner’s interested in learning more about your hobbies—great!
Arguments aren't a bad thing if both partners remember they're on the same side
Image credits: Ryan Jacobson (not the actual photo)
It’s inevitable that you’ll get into an argument with your romantic partner at some point. However, so long as both of you are respectful, try to look for compromises, and use these situations as springboards for growth, then everything is fine. Disagreements might be common, but it’s how you deal with them that truly matters. At the end of the day, you’re a team, even if you don’t always see eye to eye.
However, according to Marriage.com, it’s time to get concerned if you’re constantly arguing over trivial things. It’s likely that couples that do that confront each other over small matters because there are larger underlying issues at play.
Arguments can arise when either partner has expectations for each other that are too high, as well as when they lack tolerance for each other’s behavior. What’s more, conflict can also flare up if one of the partners tends to take all of their frustrations out on their other half, say, when they’re stressed. Instead of fighting over trivial matter after trivial matter, it’s important to sit down, dig deep, and figure out what the real problems are that keep affecting your day-to-day lives.
The vast majority of the internet was on the guy's side. Here's some readers' take on what happened
