Losing your loved one is one of the most painful things to experience - whether it’s sudden or known. It seems like your life is falling apart and you will be alone for the rest of your life. However, it’s no surprise that even after the most heartbreaking experience, people move on and step back into the world and start dating.
And while it’s totally normal to want to move on after the passing of your partner, it's also important to be empathetic and not act like this Reddit user’s husband. This woman shared that she has stage 3 cancer and she recently decided to divorce her husband after he kept asking for her blessing to move on if she passes away.
More info: Reddit
Knowing that your partner may pass away in a few years is heartbreaking and, in most cases, it’s probably even impossible to think about moving on
Image credits: Manuel Meurisse (not the actual photo)
Woman shares that she has a good marriage, however she has cancer and there’s a decent chance she may pass away within 5 years
Image credits: Kinga Howard (not the actual photo)
However, the thing is that her husband keeps asking for her blessing to move on if she passes away, which made her think he’s just fed up with having a sick wife
Image credits: Drew Hays (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ThrowRA-Boss9500
Finally, the woman decided that she had enough and asked for a divorce so her husband doesn’t need to wait for her to pass away to move on if he doesn’t want her
Recently, one Reddit user shared her story seeking to hear community members’ opinions on if she was being too sensitive and making a mistake by divorcing her husband for asking if he can move on if she passes away when she has cancer. The post received a lot of attention collecting over 18K upvotes and almost 6K comments.
The original poster (OP) started her story by explaining that she and her husband have a good marriage, however she got cancer and there’s a chance she will pass away within 5 years. The main issue is that her husband keeps constantly asking if she wants him to move on when she passes away - “it doesn’t exactly lift up my mood,” OP pointed out.
She shared that she understood that her husband is just tired of having a sick wife so she asked for a divorce so he doesn’t have to wait till she passes away to move on. However, the news wasn't taken well by the husband and his family - they think that the cancer took away her mental faculties and she’s lost her mind.
Community members felt for the woman and shared their support. “I worked in an ICU and I’ve seen devoted partners, the last thing they are thinking of is another person,” one user wrote. “NTA. I am betting he already IS SEEING someone NOW, hence asking this question over and over again. That way, he can spin it that you agreed with the affair,” another pointed out.
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
Let’s talk a little bit about dating after losing your partner. I am pretty sure most people can’t even think about losing their loved one and moving on, but as painful as it may be, it’s also important to deal with grief.
The Sun reports that 33% of grieving Brits avoid talking about a loved one after they pass away because they believe it will make other people uncomfortable, based on research from the Marie Curie charity. Furthermore, 77% of respondents report feeling under pressure to stop their public grief after a particular period of time.
However, it’s important to not forget that suppressing our emotions and stifling our grief might keep us from properly processing them, which can lead to other issues including social isolation, migraines, and insomnia.
Now, Legal and General pointed out that while there is not one standard for how grieving and dating should proceed, there are a few things you might want to think about before looking for your first partner after losing your spouse. First of all - your mood. Dating requires energy, thus you will want to feel like yourself when meeting someone new.
Another thing to consider is your objectives. What makes the thought of dating once again appealing to you? Are you seeking company or just something to take your mind off of your suffering? And finally - other people’s views. While there may be different opinions, however, hearing your trusted people’s suggestions may help to determine whether you are ready.
But what do you think about this story? Was the woman being too dramatic or she was doing the right thing? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Redditors assured the woman that she was making the right decision by leaving her husband
