The relationship between a woman and her mother-in-law has a bad name in general. While there are some exceptions, in quite a few cases, there are evil mothers-in-law who make the lives of their sons’ wives hell!
Just take the example of Reddit user Sea-Purchase-6547, whose mother-in-law never treated her right, even claiming she was not family when she found out that there was going to be a divorce. However, when she needed a place to stay after a medical procedure, the woman assumed that the poster would let her stay in her house. Drama ensued after she refused.
More info: Reddit
The poster of this story was in the process of divorcing her husband, but she let him stay in her house as he was going through some financial issues
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
She mentioned that her (soon-to-be-ex) mother-in-law never made her feel welcome and when she found out about the divorce, called the poster and told her she's no longer family
Image credits: Sea-Purchase-6547
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
However, she still felt that despite always being so nasty to her, she could stay at the poster's house after a medical procedure and 'informed' her about the same
Image credits: Sea-Purchase-6547
Image credits: DC Studio (not the actual photo)
But the poster put her foot down and said that she was no longer family, so she wouldn't let her stay at the house as she didn't want any random people she disliked around her
Image credits: Sea-Purchase-6547
Her ex-husband was furious with her for saying no, however, she stood her ground stating that she didn't have to put up with this anymore
The original poster (OP) explains that even though she was divorcing her husband, she was letting him stay in her house due to his financial situation. And they still shared a good bond. But her mother-in-law was a different case altogether. She never made her feel welcome in the family and was completely nasty to her.
Now, this woman was so toxic that she went out of her way to call the poster when she found out about the divorce. It was the poster’s birthday and she said she was glad she wouldn’t have to buy her any presents as she was ‘no longer family’. Sounds downright distasteful, doesn’t it?
But, hey, this didn’t stop her later from just calling OP and informing (not even telling!) her that she would be staying at her house after a medical procedure as she couldn’t drive back home immediately. Some people just have no shame asking for charity from the exact person that they scorned.
However, all hell broke loose when OP straight away said “no”! Not just the mother-in-law, but even her ex got angry with her. But she refused to budge and stood by her decision that she didn’t like the woman and didn’t have to put up with her any longer. And when she vented on Reddit, people showered her with applause for standing up for herself.
The poster also mentioned in the comments that her husband never stood up for her as it was in his culture to put his family first even when they clearly disliked her. Research has shown that discordant relationships with in-laws can increase a couple's risk for divorce. And it seems to be true in this couple’s case.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with psychologist Bharti Purswani to get her insights regarding this matter. She mentioned that divorce in itself, is a significant life event in our life which brings a huge impact on our mental health and well-being. This phase is quite challenging and it can make a person feel fragile.
“In this particular case, the mother-in-law has been passively aggressive towards her by intentionally making her feel unimportant in the family. This can bring up tons of uncomfortable feelings,” claimed Miss Purswani. Many Redditors also stressed that this behavior was now unacceptable from the woman and that boundaries should be drawn so that she won’t keep bothering OP.
Even our expert, Miss Purswani stressed the fact that in such scenarios, it becomes important to set boundaries by making a general rule for yourself that if you are hurt, your feelings are valid and should be treated as such. She believes that no matter how inconvenient it is for someone else, one must know how to vocalize their own pain to deal with it healthily, and boundaries help manage expectations and support personal well-being.
People online also pointed out that the mother-in-law dug her own grave when she told OP that she’s no longer family. They also pointed out that she was being generous in the first place to her ex, and instead of showing his gratitude, he got angry with her. However, peeps stressed that now she was free of that relationship and couldn’t be bothered if he got angry with her or not.
Folks also believed that since it was her house, she had a complete say in deciding who stayed under her roof. It has been observed that sadness, chronic stress, and depression can be quite common among men and women after divorce. So, maintaining autonomy in one's own home during such a transitional period seems quite crucial, just like the Redditors highlighted.
Miss Purswani also said, “Having autonomy in one's home allows individuals to process their emotions, reflect on their experiences, and gradually adapt to their new life situations. It gives an individual a sense of control over their environment. This control is crucial during such difficult times when many aspects of life may feel uncertain or unstable.”
She also added that a person who is going through a divorce needs a safe and predictable space that helps maintain emotions, regulate stress, reaffirm individual identity and self-worth, and also encourages indulgence in self-care practices. So, it seems that the Redditors are indeed right in expressing OP’s need to have autonomy in her own home.
Well, do you agree with their verdict? Also, if you have anything more to add, don’t hesitate to do so in the comments below!
The netizens applauded her for standing up for herself and they called out the entitled mother-in-law for crossing boundaries
