Knowing more than one language is a huge advantage, especially for an adult. But a lot of us know how hard it is to learn a new language. This is why a lot of people start learning it as soon as possible and very often introduce their kids to a second language from an early age. And for those who were born in a bilingual environment, knowing two languages is quite a natural thing. However, being able to communicate in multiple languages comes with its own challenges. Forgetting words or mixing them up is quite a common occurrence. But as the saying goes, we can’t judge those who make mistakes while talking a certain language because it means that they know more than one. Having this in mind, Reddit user @UnderstandingOk1255 shared her story, wanting to know whether she was too harsh to her sister-in-law who made her 4-year-old son cry by punishing him for his incorrect language usage.
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There aren't a lot of people who would deny the advantage of mastering multiple languages, especially knowing how hard it is to learn one
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The 32-year-old woman started her story by revealing that she, her husband, and their two kids, 4-year-old Louis and 3-month-old Misha, live in Belgium and are often guests in England as they like to visit her family. Because of their living situation, the family communicates in two languages: English and French. Because of this, her son Louis sometimes mixes up words, for example, using a French word in an English sentence. While the family is sure that this is a normal and temporary occurrence, the woman’s sister-in-law Sarah thinks this is a speech issue. This is why she would correct him in a rude manner every time he says something incorrectly.
Woman decided to ask people online if she was too harsh to her sister-in-law who kept picking on her 4-year-old bilingual son
Image credits: UnderstandingOk1255
The author of the post continued with her story by stating that they were once again visiting their family in England. And during this visit, they spent some time with her parents, her brother Dave, and his wife Sarah. This time Sarah decided not to correct her nephew anymore and just ignore his mistakes. So the story took a turn when OP was feeding her daughter and her husband was talking to her dad, so their son was left with Dave and Sarah. After the woman came back from feeding her daughter, she saw her 4-year-old crying. The mom soon found out that the boy came to ask his aunt for a drink but couldn’t say it in proper English, so she ignored him the whole time even though she knew what he wanted.
Despite OP being okay with her son sometimes mixing up words, her sister-in-law found this to be a language issue that the mom needed to take care of
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This situation made the mom really mad, but she took some time to calm herself and her son down. Later the whole family sat down at the dinner table and Sarah asked OP to pass her something but made a mistake by doing so, so the woman ignored her. When her sister-in-law repeated her request and she ignored it again, Dave asked her why she did that. The woman explained that Sarah wasn’t talking to her in proper English and that he should look into it instead of ignoring it. Of course, this made some of the family members mad but the woman was quick to reveal that she wasn’t going to apologize for this.
Sister-in-law soon started using her own tactics to "improve" the boy's language skills that made him cry
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Bored Panda contacted Dr Dean D’Souza, Lecturer in Developmental Psychology at City, University of London, to find out more about kids who grow up in bilingual backgrounds and to debunk some myths about them having language issues. The specialist explained why parents shouldn’t be worried about their kids mixing languages: “Kids are adaptive systems. Kids are not pre-programmed to learn language(s) perfectly well; they will learn whatever gets them by in the playground, etc. If their peers can't understand them when they mix languages, then they simply won't mix their languages.”
The woman decided to teach her nephew a lesson by ignoring his request to give him a drink until he asked for it correctly
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But how, then, can moms and dads help their kids in this case? “A lot of this is about motivation. Parents should always scaffold their kids' learning by speaking clearly and slowly; but they need not worry if their kid mixes up languages. Languages are not dictionaries or style guides; they're communication systems,” shared Dr D’Souza.
The situation made the boy's mom furious but she soon managed to calm down until an opportunity for her to teach her sister-in-law a lesson appeared
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The lecturer also revealed a possible risk that parents might face when raising their kids in a multilingual environment. It’s important to know that “maybe some family members will be more fluent in some languages and less fluent in others. It should be simpler (and thus easier) to learn one language than multiple languages. But the kids will figure it out.” This thought might encourage some parents to first teach their kids one language and then the other, but Dr D’Souza revealed that it’s still better to introduce them to both languages as early as possible.
When SIL asked the woman to pass her something at the table, OP ignored her request the same way she did her son's
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The situation shared by the author of the post encouraged other people online to share their thoughts on the matter as well as their experiences. A lot of them agreed that OP’s sister-in-law needed to be stopped and shown how foolish and even toxic her behavior was. Those who also raise bilingual kids shared that sometimes their son or daughter likes to use words from another language just because it sounds better to them, but there is no need to worry about it.
After this situation, family drama ensued, making the author of the post doubt whether she was right to act this way
Image credits: Sarah Stierch (not the actual photo)
Such demeaning comments and actions could discourage the little boy from wanting to communicate and thus improve his language skills. According to the lecturer, “adults should not stress out kids about their speech. It could result in a negative psychological outcome for the child. The child just wants to learn and communicate. They should be encouraged to learn and communicate. They should not be pressurized into worrying about how well they speak. If anything, this will put the kid off from speaking!”
What are your thoughts on the matter? Don’t forget to share your opinion in the comments down below!
The woman shared an update where she was sure that she won't be apologizing to her sister-in-law
Image credits: UnderstandingOk1255