It's traditional to include a dress code in a wedding invitation. An increasing number of brides and grooms also organize their bachelor and bachelorette parties with a specific attire in mind. In fact, typically, one in five bachelorette parties requires the guests to adhere to certain attire guidelines.
However, this bride's dress code was impossible for her sister-in-law to adhere to. Since she was a Muslim woman, she refused to prance around in a revealing swimsuit, more so because two of the bride's gay friends would be there. After being called "homophobic" and accused of causing a rift in the bride's family, the SIL started wondering whether she was right to stick to her religious convictions.
A bachelorette party dress code drove a wedge between a bride and her sister-in-law
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo)
As a Muslim woman, the SIL refused to wear a revealing outfit with two male gay friends present
Image credits: Monstera Production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Comfortable_Clothed
The bachelorette party guests may later regret their revealing outfits, so keeping it classy is always a safer option
Image credits: Caleb Oquendo/Pexels (not the actual photo)
When it comes to weddings, brides often have the last say. Typically, the guests are at the mercy of the bride and groom's vision: if they're asking attendees to wear a certain color, guests are generally expected to oblige.
The same goes for bachelorette parties and bridal showers. Although not every bachelorette party involves a dress code, themed parties are quite popular. In 2023, The Knot asked brides about bachelorette party trends, and the most popular activities were clubbing and dancing (48%) or going on pub crawls (37%).
Most of us have seen a bachelorette party in the wild: matching T-shirts, perhaps a bride wearing a mini veil, and maybe some other accessories that make her stand out in the crowd. Usually, refusing to participate in that kind of dress code is seen as rude.
Granted, stereotypical bachelorette parties sometimes include skimpy outfits like miniskirts and revealing tops. Some party guests may not feel comfortable wearing those, let alone a bikini. Although refusing to adhere to the bachelorette party dress code would be bad etiquette, guests can refuse if they have major issues with it, according to Brides.
"Remember that this celebration is about the bride, and if they absolutely love the matching tops they found online, or really want everyone to wear a certain color, just go with it!" they write. At the same time, saying "No" is sometimes okay, too: "If you know you won't feel great in whatever they picked out and your concerns are reasonable, you can most likely find an alternative option."
Jessica Janik, founder and owner of the bridal concierge company The Invisible Bridesmaid, also notes that family members and friends will most likely see the photographs from the party. So, the bachelorette and the guests should consider that before deciding on a party theme.
"While it may be tempting to rock that too-short skirt, think twice before you go out in an outfit you might regret the next day or in pictures," Janik explained. In short, she advises keeping it classy.
Muslims can have different belief systems and practice their beliefs in varying ways
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Some people in the comments accused the sister-in-law of "cherry-picking" her Muslim beliefs. They especially drew attention to her being okay with spending time with gay men but drawing the line at wearing a bikini in front of them. Others questioned her commitment to Islam by being friends with people who engage in haram (forbidden, sinful) behaviors like gambling and drinking alcohol.
In reality, many Muslims practice their religion in different ways. For example, depending on where they live, their views on religion and society may differ. As evident from a 2013 Pew Research Center survey, a Muslim in, say, Turkey can be very different from a Muslim in Egypt.
When it comes to women deciding if they should wear veils, Muslims in Southeast Asia, Central Asia, and South-Eastern Europe have the most liberal views. The same cannot be said about Muslims in Sub-Saharan Africa or countries like Afghanistan, where the majority of Muslims believe that women should wear veils even if it goes against their personal wishes.
In the traditional understanding of Islam, Muslim women cannot marry non-Muslim men. Yet, the woman in this story is married to an atheist husband. What's more, one in ten Muslims in the U.S. is married to a non-Muslim partner. 1% have a non-religious or atheist spouse.
While those may seem like small numbers, they are still a reflection of reality. There's no one way to be a Muslim, just like there's no one way to be a Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, or a believer of any other faith. Religious practices and traditions may change over time, and they adapt to people's lifestyles and changing values.
"Sorry the SIL cares [more] for photo ops than friendships," people commented, siding with the bridesmaid
Others felt she was "cherry picking" which religious traditions she adheres to already, so wearing a bikini shouldn't be such a big deal
