Some folks say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” But is that really true, or can serial cheaters change? Sure, everyone’s capable of a little self-improvement, but when your dating history looks like a laundry list of broken hearts and “Oops, I cheated again” moments, it’s a bit hard to believe the whole “I’ve changed” routine.
One unlucky Redditor found himself neck-deep in this exact situation when his girlfriend dropped a cheating confession so casually, you’d think she was just talking about what she had for lunch.
More info: Reddit
Trusting a serial cheater is like playing Jenga; everything seems steady until one wrong move brings it all crashing down
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One man found himself in a tough spot when his girlfriend drunkenly confessed to having cheated on all 7 of her ex-boyfriends
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man confronted his girlfriend about her confessions, and she admitted to cheating on all previous partners but swore she had never cheated on him
Image credits: Edward Jenner / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man posted an update, saying that he invited his girlfriend over after a few days of not speaking and asked her for the whole truth
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lostinheaven1
The man broke up with his girlfriend after her confessions, saying he could never trust her again after what he found out about her
The OP (original poster) doesn’t drink; he just doesn’t enjoy it. But his girlfriend sure loves her drinks, and sometimes, she has one too many. Now, usually, this just means she’s having a good time while he’s off playing video games. But not this time. Oh no, this time, in the middle of one of her wine-fueled rambles, she dropped a truth bomb the OP wasn’t ready for.
She confessed to cheating on every single one of her exes. Yeah, all of them. And to make matters worse, she wasn’t even ashamed! She was low-key bragging about it like it was her own twisted superpower that she never got caught. Seven ex-boyfriends, zero clues. I don’t know about you, but if I were the OP, I’d be seeing a giant red flag right about now.
Our guy was like, “Hold up, what?!” He paused his game and dug for more details, probably hoping she was kidding. Spoiler: she wasn’t. She doubled down, confirming that her serial-cheating days were 100% real. At this point, the OP’s brain was doing mental gymnastics—three years together, and now this?
The next morning, the sober girlfriend was happily making breakfast like nothing ever happened. But our dude’s mind was racing, and he had to bring up what she spilled the night before. And wouldn’t you know it—she crumbled. The waterworks started, and she admitted to cheating on all her boyfriends, but she said she wasn’t proud of it.
The OP’s mind immediately went into overdrive. Has she cheated on him too? Was she just really good at hiding it? Should he ever trust her again? For two days, they hadn’t talked, and he’d gone full ghost mode on her, ignoring her calls and texts. This was all after he had been seriously considering marrying her just a month before. I think I’d probably reconsider my plans at this point.
And so did the OP after having a little chat with his girlfriend. Our guy wasn't just dealing with the fact that she had cheated on her exes; she was apparently very close to emotionally cheating on him at the beginning of their relationship. She admitted that when they first got together, she was still texting other guys until she “fell deeply in love” with him and decided to cut them off.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Now, the big question: can a cheater really change, or is it just a case of “new partner, same old tricks?” To find out more on this topic, Bored Panda interviewed Dr. Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, a world-renowned relationship expert for some comments.
She told us that cheating can occur for a variety of reasons, often tied to unmet emotional needs rather than just physical pleasure. Individuals may cheat in search of validation, thrill, or a way to escape overwhelming emotions. Insecurity, fear of intimacy, or feelings of disconnection from their partner can also drive some toward infidelity.
“Serial cheaters, I find the common attributes they seem to share are a sense of entitlement, an inability to delay gratification, and often, a lack of empathy for the partner they’re hurting. Serial cheaters tend to be thrill-seekers (dopamine addicts) who may get a rush from the secrecy or feel a need to constantly chase new experiences,” Berman explained.
We asked Dr. Berman if therapy can actually help a serial cheater reform. She told us that, for serial cheaters, therapy should focus on uncovering the emotional wounds they are trying to address or avoid through cheating and recognizing any patterns from their past that may be contributing to their self-destructive behavior. Significant change requires time and dedication; if a cheater seeks only to manage their actions without tackling the underlying issues, they are likely to revert to old habits.
We also wanted to know how someone can recognize early warning signs that their partner might have a history of cheating. Berman explained that there are a few specific red flags that may suggest someone has cheated before, which include evasiveness about the past, secretive behavior, admission of past infidelity, and thrill-seeking tendencies.
We asked Dr. Berman if it is possible for someone who cheats in every relationship to eventually change. She explained, “It’s possible, but honestly it’s rare. People who have cheated in every relationship they’ve had are likely carrying deep emotional or psychological issues that lead to their behavior. For them to change, they would need to go through significant personal transformation,” Berman suggests.
In this case, though, the OP’s girlfriend claims to have done the work, gone to therapy, and left her wild ways in the past. But for the OP, it was too little, too late. When she finally laid it all out, admitting her reckless behavior in her 20s and assuring him she never cheated on him, it just wasn’t enough. The trust was already gone, and with it, his desire to stay in the relationship.
So, in one of the hardest conversations of his life, the OP made the decision to end things. No dramatic blow-ups, no dragging it out. He chose his peace of mind over constant doubt. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is walk away from someone you love when they’re no longer the person you thought they were.
What do you think of this story? Do you think people who have a history of cheating can change? Share your thoughts in the comments section.
People in the comments say they wouldn’t trust a person who cheated on all their partners, believing that once a cheater, always a cheater
