“Am I A Jerk For Having A Dry Wedding And Serving Only Water For Drinks?”: The Internet Gives This Engaged Woman A Reality Check

To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to international wedding planner and the woman behind The Stars Inside, Valentina Ring. Valentina was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about how common it is becoming to have a dry wedding. "This year has been the first year for me in which some of my couples have chosen to have completely alcohol-free celebrations, and I'm definitely noticing an increasing trend for it in the wedding industry as a whole!" she shared. "I see it as similar to couples choosing to have a fully vegan wedding, or an eco-friendly one for example; more and more clients are wanting their values, cultures, and lifestyles reflected in their wedding, and personally, I think that's a really positive attitude."

Valentina also explained some of the popular alcohol-free options brides and grooms opt for. "Temperance bars, as they’re becoming known, serve exciting and creative non-alcoholic options, and they can be a really unique and fun experience for guests," she told Bored Panda. "Whether or not there is alcohol served, having non-alcoholic beverage options is essential for any wedding, and this typically includes mocktails with delicious fruity cordials, a selection of soft drinks, or cocktails based on herbal tinctures and mixtures to give guests that bit of a buzz. There are always a handful of friends or family members in every guest list who prefer not to drink, whether for personal, medical, religious, or practical reasons, so having alternatives for them to choose from is really important - and considerate too."

Valentina went on to note that she has never personally encountered a couple who decided to serve only water at their wedding, but that every couple is free to make the best choice for themselves. "Having said that, as a wedding planner, my personal suggestion would have been to review the budget and see if there are any areas where we can create some more balance in order to be able to bring in some cost-effective pre-packaged non-alcoholic drinks, or even just cover the cost of a mobile cash bar where guests pay for their own drinks," Valentina added.

"It feels like potentially the size of the guest list, the food costs, or the other wedding costs could be reviewed in order to be able to give the drinks side a little bit more TLC, as I do think that telling guests that only water is being served would be remembered for the wrong reasons," she continued. "Wedding day drinks are one of those fundamental, integral parts of the day which are easy to do well - and that will very much stand out if not! Dry weddings are becoming increasingly popular, as are dry dinners and social gatherings, and so guests' expectations of being hosted at a celebration like this would definitely include having a choice of a few non-alcoholic drinks - even if that might be just simple, basic ones."

Valentina also provided some tips on how to serve great drinks without breaking the bank. "When it comes to non-alcoholic options, it's possible to go very bespoke - like having signature mocktails based around delicious seasonal ingredients, themed around the couple's story and favourite flavours - but it's also possible to keep things simple," she shared. "Bulk orders of basic soft drinks can be very cost-effective, and you can significantly elevate something like a lemonade by adding a little bit of a botanical or fruity cordial or syrup, and a floral garnish, for example. There are also options like sparkling flavored water, with some lovely watermelon, cucumber or fresh strawberries on a warm Summer’s day, root beer and non-alcoholic ciders, or tonic waters. Lots of companies around the world are creating delicious vegan and non-alcoholic wines and champagnes, so it's definitely worth exploring any local options that might exist in your area too."

And when it comes to whether or not hosts should cater to their guests or if the bride and groom should be calling all of the shots for their own wedding, Valentina says, "The sweet spot lies somewhere in the middle - so that the couple’s values and priorities are being honored, but guests’ needs are also considered. Hosting a wedding is a joy, but also a responsibility - and part of that is taking the time to curate how each loved one’s experience will feel."

"Being informed (ahead of time, if possible) that the wedding will be dry/alcohol-free is not something any guest would begrudge the couple - but being told that the only drink on site is water is very likely to not sit well," the expert added. "Whether it’s for financial, personal, or practical reasons - your choice of having a sober wedding is totally valid. There is no right or wrong reason to have a dry wedding, it just needs to be the right choice for you as a couple. While staying true to that, if you are able to provide some thoughtful and exciting alcohol-free drinks - and think about infusing even more meaning and personality into the food, entertainment, and decor - then I can guarantee that your guests' memories will be filled with nothing but the good stuff."