Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl made headlines recently when he announced on Instagram that he’d fathered a baby girl “outside my marriage”. Grohl didn't say whether he'd leave his marriage to be a “loving and supportive parent” to his new daughter. But his wife of over 20 years has recently been spotted without her wedding ring.
Grohl’s confession might have been quite triggering for one woman, whose husband stepped out on her a few years ago. The woman was two months pregnant when she found out her husband was having an affair, and had made his mistress pregnant as well. In a wicked twist of karma, the man's dying mother teamed up with his ex-wife to teach him one last very costly lesson. Bored Panda reached out to legal expert Doug Luftman from Trust & Will to get his view on the matter.
Amelie's husband walked out on her after getting his co-worker pregnant, leaving her to raise their 5-year-old child alone
Image credits: Elina Fairytale / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man's mother was livid when she found out, and cut contact with her son immediately
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Gerardo Manzano / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway_inherit8
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Amelie's mother-in-law is not legally obliged to provide for any grandchildren in her will
Doug Luftman is the Chief Legal Officer of Trust & Will. The California-based law firm specializes in estate planning. Luftman kindly agreed to chat to Bored Panda and give his view on the matter. He noted that the situation highlights how personal decisions, emotions, and values can deeply influence estate planning.
"While the grandmother’s decision seems driven by a desire to teach her son a lesson, legally, she has the right to distribute her estate as she sees fit, provided her will complies with state laws,” said Luftman. "The decision to leave everything to the ex-wife and their son, excluding the child from the affair, reflects how inheritance via a formal estate plan, such as a will, can be used to send a moral message or protect certain family members, though it may create further familial discord."
Luftman added that grandparents are typically under no legal obligation to provide for grandchildren, especially if they’ve been explicitly excluded in a valid will. "In most cases, the child or their mother cannot lay claim to the grandmother’s estate unless the grandmother made provisions for them in her will or if there is a legal claim that the will is invalid, such as due to undue influence or lack of mental capacity, that can be proven in court," noted the legal expert.
Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Children born from affairs have the same inheritance rights as any other biological children, provided paternity is established
Luftman said the affair is "a red herring" in that the estate planning laws focus on biological lineage. And that children born as a result of an affair are treated exactly the same as children born within a marriage, when it comes to inheritance from the parents.
"If the parent dies without a will, the child usually is entitled to a share of the estate under state intestate succession laws," explained Luftman. "However, if the parent creates a will, they can choose to include or exclude that child from their inheritance, subject to certain legal limitations in some states."
He cautioned that it's crucial for couples to consider all potential scenarios when drafting their wills. Even the possibility and impact of infidelity. "Open communication is key. Couples may want to specify what happens in case of a breakdown in the relationship or if there are children from outside the marriage," advised Luftman. "Clear instructions in an estate plan can prevent legal disputes and ensure that each partner’s wishes are honored, regardless of emotional or personal issues that might arise later."
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Amelie gave more information in the comments, revealing her ex's mom was leaving him $100 and a "cuckoo clock he used to be scared of as a child"
Mothers-in-law often get a bad rep for siding with their children, no matter what
Mothers-in-law have been the butt of jokes for centuries. And are often portrayed in a negative light in books, movies, and songs. Ernie K-Doe’s 1961 song “Mother-in-Law” hit number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 and R&B chart. “Mother-in-law, mother-in-law… The worst person I know. Mother-in-law, mother-in-law… She worries me so,” sang K-Doe. Some people have referred to their MIL as "monster-in-law".
Even Pope Francis has made mother-in-law jokes. In public. In 2015, thousands erupted into laughter as the pope addressed them in America. “Families quarrel and sometimes plates can fly and children bring headaches, and I won’t speak about mother-in-laws,” quipped the head of the Catholic church.
But in 2022, the pope came to the defence of "the other woman", when he asked people to be kinder to their mothers-in-law. The pontiff told the audience that mothers-in-law are often the victims of “cliches”, and called for compassion.
“I’m not saying we see [the mother-in-law] as the devil, but she is always presented in a pejorative way. But the mother-in-law is the mother of your husband and the mother of your wife,” preached the then 84-year-old. He also reminded women to respect their mother-in-laws, as they’d “given birth to your spouse”.
“We say to ourselves ‘the further away your mother-in-law is, the better’. But no – she’s a mother, she’s an elderly person,” added the pope. “One of the most beautiful things for a woman is to have grandchildren. When her children have children, it brings her to life again.” The pope might have been onto something because as Amelie wrote in her post, her mother-in-law loves "her grandson more than anything."
Image credits: Danik Prihodko / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Despite how they are portrayed in the media, many mothers-in-law actually get along well with their daughters-in-law
Geoffrey Greif is a professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work. He says mothers-in-law are often portrayed as overbearing and interfering. Because of this, some daughters-in-law might want to keep them at bay. Greif cautions people not to do this. Fortunately Amelie didn't, so she was able to get the support she needed when her ex left her. And her own son was able to maintain a close relationship with his paternal grandmother.
Greif also explained why some mothers-in-law work extra hard to stay in the "good books". “When grandchildren come along, in most families the mothers provide access to the children and the MIL may feel she has to play her cards right to keep that access," said Greif.
When Greif conducted research on the topic, he found that contrary to popular belief, most “daughters-in-law feel positive about their relationship with their mothers-in-law at the beginning of the marriage to their husbands”. He had surveyed 351 women, asking various questions about their relationship with their mothers-in-law.
His 2019 paper titled “Women and Their Mothers-in-Law: Triangles, Ambiguity, and Relationship Quality” noted six factors that determine how well a woman would get along with their mother-in-law. They included shared interests, the amount of time the two spend together, how close the daughter-in-law is to her husband's father, what the DIL thinks about her husband's relationship with his mom, whether the daughter-in-law feels caught between her husband and her mother-in-law, and whether the MIL is close to another child-in-law.
Amelie and her mom-in-law must have ticked many of those boxes. In the end, their relationship weathered the storm . And her ex was left with a mother who "despises her son and his mistress" for tearing apart the family.
"Your MIL is the freaking goat": Many netizens praised Amelie's mother-in-law
Some people felt the "affair baby" shouldn't be the one paying the price
Amelie later responded to those who left mean comments, and detailed just how nasty her ex-husband's mistress had been
