It’s natural for your spouse to drive you a little crazy some days. It doesn’t mean that you love them any less or that your marriage is doomed; it just means that the two of you need to put a little effort into working through your issues together. If you can’t, however, then it might be time to say goodbye to your relationship.
One woman reached out to Reddit for advice after her husband claimed that she had emasculated him during an argument in front of his parents. Below, you’ll find all of the details that the author shared online, as well as some of the replies invested readers left her.
Every marriage has its ups and downs
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But this woman became so frustrated with her husband that she stopped listening to him altogether
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A man may claim that he's been emasculated when he feels like his power has been taken away
Image credits: Timur Weber/Pexels (not the actual photo)
For women, the idea of emasculating a man might sound a bit strange. How can you possibly make a man feel less masculine? He’s a man already, so what more does he need to feel masculine? But this term has often been used by men who feel like their strength and power is being undermined, particularly by a woman who they believe should be submissive to them.
Melissa Brown at Black Feminisms writes that “emasculation is a pseudoscientific myth.” She explains that, originally, this term was used to describe removing reproductive organs from plants. And while it is possible to make a man feel like he’s been emasculated, doing so cannot actually alter a person’s orientation or gender.
Charla Huber wrote a piece for Times Colonist discussing how this term has become outdated. “I’ve never witnessed the term ‘emasculate’ being used without a woman being referenced,” Huber notes. “I’ve seen it used when a woman takes charge, educates a man on an issue, or calls a man out on his behavior.”
She also points out that there’s no equivalent term with a feminine connotation. This may be because women don’t have the power in the first place, so they cannot feel like their power is being undermined. Men, on the other hand, have historically been seen as the default leaders.
Nowadays, however, we know that women can do anything men can do. So there’s no need for this term anymore. “Emasculate is an old-fashioned word that continues to place men at the top of the hierarchy,” Huber writes.
“When a woman is strong, smart and willing to offer leadership, somehow that takes away from a man’s power and identity as a man,” she continues. “In that situation, using the phrase ‘you are emasculating me’ really means, ‘I want to be in control, and you are lesser than me.’”
It's crucial for both spouses to give and receive respect for a marriage to be successful
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Based on the way the author of this story described her situation, it’s clear that there is a power imbalance in her marriage. She says that he’s the breadwinner, and she’s a housewife. But that doesn’t mean that both partners don’t deserve equal respect.
Now, just because she shouldn’t have to worry about emasculating her husband doesn’t mean that the author should be rude to him. And clearly, it’s not appropriate for her spouse to be screaming at her when he gets upset either.
Verywell Mind notes that gender roles can strongly impact relationships between men and women. But letting go of these views and expectations might allow couples to create a more equitable relationship that benefits both parties.
Traditional gender roles can hinder how people express themselves, and they might make individuals feel trapped in the role that’s expected of them. But gender specialist Rebecca Minor, LICSW, says, “"Breaking down gender roles allows individuals to communicate openly and honestly about their needs, desires, and emotions without fear of judgment or reprisal.”
"This leads to more effective and empathetic communication, fostering greater understanding and connection between partners," Minor told Verywell Mind.
As many readers mentioned in the comments, this marriage may have run its course already. But we would love to hear your thoughts below, pandas. How would you have reacted if you were in the author’s shoes? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar relationship issues right here.
Many readers took the wife's side, and she joined in on the conversation to reveal more details
Meanwhile, some thought that both parties were at fault
And others believed that the wife could have made better choices
