Many of us might think that proper manners in public places is a common thing that everyone knows. Yet, there are plenty of stories that prove it isn't as common as we would like it to be. And to be frank, sometimes, it shocks us how removed some people are from proper manners.
Like the man from today's story who embarrassed his girlfriend in a fancy restaurant so much that she couldn't wait to leave the place. You wonder what he did? Well, let's just say that he basically violated nearly every rule of public eating etiquette.
More info: Reddit
While we might expect people to have proper dining out manners, unfortunately, not everyone does
Image credits: Quark Studio (not the actual photo)
A woman and her boyfriend went out to eat at a fancy restaurant that required a certain dress code
Image credits: Chris Tweten (not the actual photo)
When the waiter brought the appetizer, the man started eating with his hands despite his girlfriend asking him not to
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
Then, he smirked at her and proceeded to eat the main meal in the same gross way, getting the sauce all over himself and the table
Image credits: u/aileeliz
Then, when the woman confronted him after she ran out of the restaurant due to embarrassment, he pushed the blame onto her, saying he simply wanted to eat comfortably
This OP recently got promoted. So, she and her boyfriend of 7 months decided to go to a fancy Italian restaurant to celebrate. It was one of those fancy restaurants with a dress code. Typically, these types of restaurants ask their guests to wear smart or formal attire. To talk about fancy dining experiences, Bored Panda got in touch with etiquette expert and consultant Jo Hayes.
The reason why these luxurious places ask customers to dress in this attire is that, usually, these places are trying to create a certain atmosphere as part of their experience. And if some guests come dressed too casually, it can ruin the experience for others, bursting the bubble of luxury.
And so, when the author and her boyfriend went to this fancy place, they were served a bruschetta dish as an appetizer. That's where the trouble started.
The problem was that before going to this restaurant, the woman didn’t realize her boyfriend had no table manners, and she thought he was just a messy eater. When the bruschetta dish came, he asked if the woman would mind if he enjoyed it “the way he does at home.” Let’s just say that the woman minded, but it didn’t stop him.
He dug into a meal with his hand and got sauce all over his fingers. And when they were served the main dish, pasta, he also ate it with his fingers, smirking at the woman, perhaps showing her that he was causing this mess purposefully.
Jo Hayes said that when witnessing someone's poor dining manners, if possible, correction is the right thing to do. And it should be done in a subtle and kind way. Yet, in this story, it doesn't seem that any type of correction would have stopped the man's actions.
After the food, everything was covered with sauce – the tablecloth and his clothes, hands, and face. If that wasn’t enough, he loudly burped, drawing the other customers and the waiter’s attention. He then proceeded to block the aisle by putting his feet up on the chair nearby!
This whole situation mortified the woman. So, she quickly asked for the check, paid for it, and left as soon as she could. When she confronted the boyfriend about his behavior, he told her it was her fault for not letting him enjoy the meal as he pleased. He also added that since they were paying customers, other guests had no business judging them.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Well, other guests were paying customers as well. And they didn’t pay to see a man devour a meal in a very gross way, did they? Just as there is a dress code, there’s also an expectation on how people should act in luxurious places. As our interviewee pointed out: "When diners display poor table manners and general poor dining etiquette, it impacts the experience of those around them."
She also gave us some examples of how proper dining manners look. During a meal, people should try to eat slowly, in small bites with their mouths closed, and not talk while chewing. A proper use of utensils if the meal requires them is important, too. As Jo said: "Poor use of cutlery is one of the most obvious signs of poor table manners." Well, the boyfriend in the story surely violated many of these etiquette rules.
Yet, some people in the comments under the post pointed out that the problem might be deeper than him simply not having proper table manners. They said that by basically mocking both the woman and the restaurant, he was showing signs of his abusive behavior.
In a cycle of abuse, the first stage is tension building. And that probably could've been cut with a knife in that restaurant, as the woman described being mortified by his behavior. Later, when called out, he proceeded to blame her for not letting him eat comfortably. In reality, knowing how everything looked after he ate, the only person who was uncomfortable at that table was the woman.
We don’t want to speculate about a stranger’s tendency to be abusive, but we can’t deny that he surely acted like a big jerk. And the reason for that might be wanting to cause some tension or maybe he just wanted to show that he's too cool for fancy restaurants. Either way, the only goal that was achieved was the embarrassment of the woman. And a possible break up.
But, hey, maybe breaking up with such a jerk isn’t the worst thing in the world. Hopefully, this leads her to someone who she won't be ashamed to dine out with. And that's what she deserves, doesn't she?
People online were unsettled by the man's actions and even speculated about his possible abusive behavior
