48 People Share Their Most Embarrassing Childhood Moments They Never Recovered From

When I was in 3rd grade the teacher would let us leave the class for lunch early by playing a little game. Such as if you name starts with "C" you may go 5 mins early and so on. This one day the teacher decided that it would be fun to say if you have any blue clothes on you may go, about 5 kids got up showed the teacher and off to lunch they went. Next was yellow 4 more kids, Red was next I was so excited because I had some red on so I get up and start to walk out but the teacher said "Mr Hatter I don't see any red on you" so I pulled down my pants and showed her the reddest of red jocks you have ever seen.
Later that evening my Mum got a call from the school asking if she could go in a discuss my actions.
I still have not lived it down. I am now 28 and my Dad brings this story up at least 3 times a year.

**TL;DR Flashed teacher**.

When I was about five I had a pet hamster, Cubby. I wanted to give him a bath so I filled up the sink. Thankfully my mom stopped me before I threw him in there. Then I went outside and turned on the hose to give him a shower. My mother also saved poor Cubby from that fate. A few hours later she walked in my room and I was sitting on the bed holding a dripping wet Cubby. She asked what happened and I replied, "I gave him a bath like a Mama hamster would." I licked [him] down from head to toe. Obviously pictures were taken. I don't know how I was able to produce that much saliva. I'm 19 now and to this day anytime a squirrel runs by or a pet needs a bath my family will yell, "Go get Grace! She'll take care of it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" --__--

In third grade we would have reading time everyday after lunch. The teacher would read one of her favorite books to us chapter by chapter. it was nice. Anyway I was known for being a stinky chubby kid already but this particular day I outdid myself. Halfway through our teacher excitedly reading BFG, I let out the rankiest fart. Everyone heard it, everyone definitely smelled it.
As if God himself could add more insult, a small earthquake shook the room right as I stopped farted. Our teacher made everyone go outside NOT BECAUSE OF THE EARTHQUAKE (it was only a tiny one) but because my fart smelled so bad that the teacher thought the classroom was uninhabitable whilst the fart smell lingered. I then started to cry because everyone was mad at me for ruining THE BFG forever and just making it stink so bad. My 3rd grade class can confirm this, wherever there are now. They still remind me of this story. I am known as the kid whose fart shook the whole world.

TL:DR in third grade, I farted, real earthquake suddenly happened, classroom evacuated because it smelled so bad. I cried.

lilwheezyf:
I can confirm this story to be true lol. I was [in that class], the best coincidence I have ever experienced in my entire life.

I was helping my Grama put up a cross on her wall. When she asked me to pass it to her, I grabbed it and immediately screamed "OH GOD IT BURNS!!" and threw it onto her bed. She literally almost had a heart attack. I started rofl'ing, but she immediately called my mother (while holding her chest and gasping for air) and yelled at her "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER JUST DID?!" Through tears of laughter, my mom later told me I was grounded from the computer until further notice. Worth it.

Apparently I was so distracted as a child that my parents tried writing our home address on the backs of my shoes in case I got lost. Then one day I came back from school barefoot. At some point during that day I had managed to lose my shoes.

Both of my older siblings never let me forget this story.

I stole a kitten from a neighbor's yard and thought that just in case the neighbor saw me do it, I would simply chop off my bangs. My mom was pissed at my horrible haircut and I had to return the kitten..

When I was 4, to the first black kid I met (who eventually became my best friend) I asked, "How did you get burned? You look like a burned hot dog." Completely innocent. He shrugged and then we just became friends. It was only embarrassing when he asked his parents (in front of me) how he got burned. Damn.

Ugh. In third grade I was painfully dorky and I would always sit and read by myself before the bell rang. The other kids made fun of me for reading, so...my solution? I made cat noises at them. Like hissed and stuff. Yep. That's what 8-year-old me came up with. It did not do wonders for my popularity.

beefwich:
We had one of you in my school. Ours was a kid named Jeff. One morning I went to the library to check out a drawing book and asked him (politely) to scoot his chair in so I could get by. And he hissed at me and arched his back like a cat.

This is my brother's story that we won't let him forget...


When he was 8 he was a chubby youngster that really loved Chef Boyardee's canned pasta.

One day he put some canned pasta in the microwave in a glass bowl and waited the allotted 2 minutes or so, and then eagerly reached in and grabbed the bowl. It was, as you might imagine, heated to near melting by the molten lava of pasta sauce. My brother immediately dropped the bowl, which shattered all over the floor.

Glass and pasta and meaty red sauce everywhere.

My mom runs over and starts yelling, "Oh how could you! What were you thinking!" You know, upset mother things.

My brother just looks at her... and then bursts into tears. Sobbing.

My mom then feels terrible. Starts consoling him, "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell at you" You know, apologetic mother things.

Then, my brother, through is sniffles and throaty lingering sobs, looks at her and says "It's not that! That was the last can of pasta!".

When I was seven I was staying at my grandma's house. She was cooking dinner and I wandered off into the bathroom where I found a pair of scissors. I proceeded to give my self a haircut. I was awful. For the next two weeks my parents made me walk around with said awful haircut as a punishment.

TL;DR My parents made me walk around for two weeks with an atrocious haircut I gave myself.

riotous_jocundity:
I did this pretty much every year between the ages of 6-9. My mom would be innocently going about her day and then freeze in panic when she realized how quiet it was in the house. She'd inevitably find me in a closet with our cat, both of us sporting cutting edge asymmetrical haircuts. Apparently it always happened a few days before picture day. My grandparents live in another country, so for several years they had serious concerns about my mother's ability to take care of us.

An older friend of my brothers somehow convinced me that guys had their periods. So, of course, I had to prove it to everyone else that I was getting mine, to fit in. I wore maxi pads for a month, waiting to bleed. I was getting upset, it never bled. So, one day I took a used, bloody pad out of the trash and slipped it in my underwear. That day at school I wanted to make it obvious that I was mature enough to have my period so I changed it in front of a few friends and made the bloody pad quite visible. The look of terror on their faces told me something was not right about this.

I began to explain to them that I was just having my period when one of my friends shouted "he's wearing a tampon" (shows how smart he was, it was a pad) and laughter erupted outside in the hallway. That was when they had to break it to me that guys do not have their periods, and I was an idiot. I stayed home sick for 3 days after that, only to come back to it, still fresh in everyone's minds. I still get [shamed] for this 12 yrs later and rightfully so I guess.

So I guess one day my mother decided to teach me the proper anatomical terms for genitalia, much to the reluctance of my father. So, the very next day, my father drops me off at preschool. According to him, I bolted from his arms, and raced straight up to the pastor. Upon catching the pastor's attention, I look him straight in the eye and proclaim for all to hear, **"GIRLS HAVE CHINAS, BUT BOYS HAVE PENIES."** My father is a man of few words, and the mental image of him silently trudging up to me and dragging me off, nary a word said to the sea of uptight churchgoers, always makes me laugh.

**TL;DR Told the pastor that girls have chinas, but boys have penies.**

taco taco.

When I was in kindergarten, I told my teacher to pull my finger. I am female, so was she and she was also very "proper and unforgiving" which my mother hated. So.. I farted, because she didn't know that's what happened. When my mom got the call she had to hold back laughter. Now whenever stories are being told (including in front of new, potential mates) I get to hear how I farted on my kindergarten teacher.

When I was a little kid I was at a Durham Bulls baseball game (who were then the minor league team for the Atlanta Braves), and they had given all kids a free helmet - you know, one of those plastic helmets with the brown plastic snappy framing inside you get at the gas station for 99 cents?

Anyway I was walking around with my brother when Chipper Freaking Jones walks right up to me and says "hey buddy, that's a pretty cool helmet. Wanna trade it for this autographed bat?"

I reply "no thanks, my dad might get mad if I give away my helmet."

Chipper looks at me like I'm an idiot and gives the bat to some other kid standing nearby.

To start, I admire my mom immensely.

She had some coworkers over for dinner once, including a superior, and it was a great opportunity to get to know everyone.

Now, my mom, the ultimate multitasker, was busy cleaning and assigning "chores" to anyone in the house who wasn't a toddler (so, everyone except 2 year-old me). All my 6 year-old sister had to do was clean her room, and all my dad had to do was make sure I had a bath before company came over.

All the while, my mom made dinner, cleaned the kitchen, dining room, and living room.

My dad was off to a great start; he drew a bath, made sure I was clean, and emptied the water so I wouldn't Darwin-award myself.

He decided, however, to leave me in the bathroom while he grabbed me a change of clothes. Bad move, Dad.

I work quickly. Not having clothes, 2 year-old me realized that would be inappropriate for a business dinner for my mother. I also realized that this was my chance to impress my parents with my mature-beyond-my-years ability to dress myself and look dapper. One problem: if I wanted this to truly be a surprise, I couldn't run to my room, lest my father discover my plan.

I scoured the bathroom and nearby closet for any clothes. Then I found the perfect outfit. Now, before you find out what it is, remember—this was the early 90s. Times were different.

After I dressed myself, I slicked back my hair and ran to go greet my mother and her guests ("what a charming and put-together son you have!" They'd say).

Their looks of surprise were validation enough. I screamed excitedly "Mommy!" and showed off my unitard that was made of a discarded grocery bag—the two straps were shoulder straps and at the bottom of the bag I'd made two holes for my legs.

I was beautiful.

The rest, as they say, is history. My mother got to explain that she did, indeed, actually buy me real-boy clothes that didn't show off my toddler bits. My father got out of bathing-me duty forever, and, as sort of an anti-climactic cherry on top, my sister's room was as clean as a 6 year-old could make it.

TL;DR: I made myself a see-through grocery bag unitard and introduced my body to my mom's coworkers.

When I was around 10 years old.

We just finished Physical Ed, and it was time to shower. One of my friends finished showering and got changed quickly.

Whilst I was trying to putting some clothes on after my shower, he slapped me with the force of a thousand bulls with a wet towel.

I was extremely pissed off and chased him through the locker rooms and into the auditorium, full of students.

I was so pissed off and focused in chasing him, that I forgot I didn't have any clothes on.

*sigh*

Superglued my own eyes shut. Was mimicking my mom putting on eyeliner with whatever was around.

My father didn't like one of my mother's friends and called him trash names that I didn't understand. Then one day that friend got a sunburn and I said, "Look mom, he really does have a red neck!" She was mortified.

Age 4: In preschool I got sick at lunch and barfed all over myself. The teacher had to take me into another classroom to clean me up and find spare clothes. The classroom was full of other kids who upon seeing me covered in my own reeking sick, immediately began roiling in disgust/mocking me. Goddamnit so much. I'm 33 now and I believe this contributed to the anxiety I feel in large groups.

At age 5: At another kid's birthday party just before he blew out the candles on his cake I spring in front of him and blow out the candles myself. I was immediately shunned by the birthday boy and the rest of the kids for the remainder of the party. I have no idea why I did that.

Age 6: In kindergarten during reading group I amuse myself by pronouncing every word with the letter "U" in it in a weird way. For instance, the word blue would be pronounced "bleeyou." Every. Single. time. This was much to the chagrin of my group mates who would just squirm or laugh when it was my turn to read.

Age 7: I won a leather glove, sunglasses and a tie-dyed shirt during a rollerskating party for school. I wore them proudly back into the classroom after returning school. As I sat down at my desk, I removed the glove and sunglasses and announced proudly that I was done being cool for the day. A little girl next to me said , "You were never cool," and the entire class erupted in laughter.

Age 8-33: I am handsome, intelligent and well liked. Nothing embarrassing ever happens again. Foes flee before my terrible power and throngs of adoring women surround me wherever I go.

TL;DR I was a weird little kid.

Oh god. I was about 11 years old, lonely, and in the mindset that I needed to find the love of my life NOW. I had in my mind this romantic notion that I wanted the person I fell in love with to be a childhood friend. I was still a child so I needed to find a guy NOW in order for this long-term plan to work.

Anyways, met a boy and I wrote a really, *really* embarrassing love letter about him. He got his hands on it because I stupidly left it out in the open, and our friendship was really awkward for a while. At first it was weird, but then he started joking about it and that made it easier (Though I was horrified because at this time I liked him). He still teases me about it to this day, which I'm okay with since I'm completely over those weird feelings. He's now my best friend.