The bond between my elder sister and me is just like Tom and Jerry. Even though we fight tooth and nail over small things, we can’t really stay without each other. But not everyone is fortunate enough to get an amazing older sibling.
Take, for instance, Reddit user everyoneh8sme34, whose competitive elder sister always hated her. During a family dinner, she started claiming that the original poster (OP) was dumb and had cheated her way through her education. Infuriated, OP went on to embarrass her and she just dramatically stormed out.
More info: Reddit
The poster of this story had an elder sister who always hated her and whenever she tried to build a relationship, the sister didn't care about it
Image credits: gpointstudio (not the actual photo)
Their parents never called out the elder sister for her actions, so her toxic behavior continued even when they were adults, and she became very competitive as well
Image credits: everyoneh8sme34
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
During a family dinner, she kept comparing them and even claimed that the poster had cheated her way through school and college, and said she was dumb
Image credits: everyoneh8sme34
Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual photo)
The poster had enough and asked her a simple question since she was so smart; however, feeling embarrassed as she couldn't answer, she stormed out
Image credits: everyoneh8sme34
The enabling parents called the poster and said that she should've been the 'bigger person' and asked her to apologize to her elder sister
The poster gave us a little background stating how her elder sister always hated her and she didn’t even know why. Even when she tried to build a bond with her, the elder one never really cared about it. And sadly, even their parents weren’t bothered about how the younger one was treated.
Growing up, it looks like her competitive nature just worsened because she constantly compared OP with the things that she had achieved at that particular age. Seems quite an unsettling environment to grow up in. But this didn’t stop even when they grew up and the enabling parents didn't really help much.
One day, during a family dinner, the elder sister pushed things too far. She insisted that OP had cheated her way through school and college and asked her a stupid question, “If you’re so smart, what is the noun of a pronoun with an adverb?” And when the poster replied that there was no answer to that as it didn’t make any sense, she straightaway concluded that she was dumb.
It was probably the last straw for OP. She in turn asked her sister, “How does precipitation work in the water cycle?” It was a simple enough question for the poster but her sister got all riled up stating she purposely used big words to confuse her. But the poster was enjoying her sweet revenge and said that she thought she was smart enough and even their brother backed her up.
Well, the elder one was so embarrassed by this that she just left. But folks, things didn’t end there. Because their father called up OP and demanded that she apologize to her, and be the “bigger person” as always. Probably feeling confused, she vented online and asked Redditors whether she was in the wrong.
Image credits: andreas (not the actual photo)
People backed her up for finally standing up for herself, and they frowned upon her sister, calling her behavior highly toxic. When OP was born, she was no longer the only daughter and this might have sown the seed of jealousy. They claimed that her jealousy had amplified gradually and that her competitive behavior had turned purely spiteful.
“Benign feelings of jealousy are normal, but they can also become toxic, especially when they act on their envy. One may also try to sabotage the envied sibling’s life or humiliate them at every given opportunity,” states Eggshell Therapy. Looks like the elder sister fits all the boxes here.
Redditors also called out the enabling parents who didn’t hold her accountable for her actions and even demanded that the poster apologize to her. They questioned how they could just let years of toxic behavior slide by, while in one instance where the bully was confronted, they penalized the younger one.
As per Psychology Today, “Enabling adult children refers to a parenting dynamic where parents unintentionally or knowingly support their grown-up offspring in ways that hinder personal growth and responsibility. This behavior often stems from a desire to shield children from life's challenges, but it can inadvertently impede their development into independent, self-sufficient individuals.”
Seems like the parents' enabling behavior combined with pre-existing jealousy might have been the deciding factor for the sister’s toxic behavior towards the poster. And it was good of her to finally respond to years of toxicity. Don’t you think so? If you were in her place, what would you have done? Feel free to jot down your thoughts in the comments below!
Redditors claimed the sister was jealous and combined with the enabling behavior of the parents, she had turned toxic
