Every sensible person believes in the “Waiter Rule.” It’s the recognized litmus test of a person’s character, revealing their true nature in how they treat service workers or anyone in subservient roles.
Those who treat restaurant waitstaff like trash are garbage humans themselves. They're the type of people that this man nearly married into, if not for seeing how his supposed future mother-in-law acted out during their first dinner together.
Worse, his girlfriend saw nothing wrong with how her mother acted. You will find the entire story below.
Treating restaurant waitstaff like trash is a deplorable, dealbreaker trait
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This man witnessed a new level of entitlement from his supposed future mother-in-law
Image credits: Yan Krukau/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Their first time meeting only got worse as the dinner progressed
Image credits: Yan Krukau/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The mom's behavior was getting more and more unhinged
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Things got so bad that management decided to kick them out of the restaurant
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The horrific episode spelled the end of their planned engagement and their relationship
Image credits: StaringAtTheSunftSZA
People may act rudely towards waitstaff or anyone else in subservient roles to performatively demonstrate status
It can be baffling to see someone mistreat a restaurant's waitstaff firsthand. You may end up thinking to yourself, “How could a person be this cruel?”
Their behavior could be due to a multitude of reasons, according to educator and psychologist Lidija Elezovic. As she tells Bored Panda, one of them is to flex their status in a performative way.
“A little-known explanation for why some adults treat restaurant staff poorly is the potential for these work settings to be used as 'stages' for demonstrating status,” she explained.
Image credits: Zeeshaan Shabbir/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Another possible reason is what Elezovic calls emotional displacement, in which a person may project their feelings of powerlessness, neglect, or overwhelm onto someone who is “lower on the totem pole,” so to speak.
Then, there is the lack of risk involved, which, according to Elezovic, is why most people would not dare to treat their boss, teacher, or peer the same way.
“Service workers are generally expected to be respectful and pleasant regardless of how badly they are being treated. In doing so, we eliminate our ability to empathize and hold ourselves accountable,” she said.
The story’s author was in a tough spot as he was dealing with his supposed future mother-in-law. Confronting her would not end well for him. In such cases, Elezovic says a better way to respond is to interrupt the interaction with a social cue.
An example she gave would be for another individual to express gratitude to the server, then thank them again for their service after the meal.
“By interrupting the social dynamics of the interaction, you can redirect attention away from the negative behavior without escalating conflict,” she said.
The situation had already gone off the rails toward the end of the dinner, leaving the author no chance to react. Worse, his partner sided with her mother.
Fortunately for him, he saw these dealbreakers right before he proposed. Indeed, he dodged a bullet and saved himself from a lifetime of toxicity.
The author gladly answered reader questions
Many were emotionally invested in what they read
