If you don’t have kids of your own, the day you become an aunt or uncle will likely be full of joy and excitement. Finally, there’s a tiny, adorable member of the family that you can spoil without being burdened with all the responsibilities of being a mom or dad! If your sibling doesn’t understand boundaries, however, they might try to pass off some of their parental duties to you…
One woman reached out to Reddit after her family volunteered her as a babysitter without ever consulting her first. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a couple updates the author later shared and some of the advice readers weighed in with.
Being an aunt or uncle can be tons of fun
Image credits: Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But when this woman was told, rather than asked, to babysit her nieces and nephews, she decided to set boundaries with her family
Image credits: thats_nice_idc
Readers shared their thoughts, as well as some suggestions for the author, and she joined in on the conversation
Later, the woman shared an update detailing how things have been going since she took some advice from readers
Image credits: VittorioGravino / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: halfpoint / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: thats_nice_idc
Again, readers called out the woman's family members, and she replied to a few comments
Finally, the author shared another update revealing some changes that are coming to her family soon
Image credits: Media_photos / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: armmypicca / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: thats_nice_idc
Image credits: Polina Kuzovkova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
There are pros and cons to using family members for childcare
Being a parent comes with countless responsibilities. Not only do you have to make sure your children are safe, fed, clothed and overall taken care of, you also have to show them unconditional love and provide emotional support 24/7.
Having kids is never an easy job. But most moms and dads know what they’re signing up for and welcome all of the challenges because they just love their kiddos so much.
If you’re an aunt or uncle, however, you didn’t really have any say in those children being brought into the world. Sure, you probably love them very much, and you are likely happy to see them whenever you can. But you might not be thrilled about being a babysitter, especially if you are expected to watch the kids without being asked.
Using family members for childcare might seem like a no-brainer for many parents. If they live nearby and already know your kids and your home, it might be the most convenient option. But according to Care.com, there are some pros and cons to consider before turning the fun aunt into the cranky babysitter.
First, let’s look at the potential positives. You already trust this person, and you already have a strong relationship. Plus, they are probably familiar with your parenting style, so you might not have to worry about them enforcing your rules. And you may even save some money if they refuse to accept payment or will only take a small fee.
Image credits: Igal Ness / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
It's important to compensate babysitters fairly, even if they happen to be related to you
But there are some risks that parents need to keep in mind as well. Many of us don’t actually see eye to eye with our relatives on every topic, so you might hear pushback on some of your parenting techniques. Especially if you’re asking someone from an older generation to watch the kids, they might have different views on how exactly parents should raise children.
It can also be harder to enforce boundaries when you’re dealing with a relative whose feelings you want to protect. If conflicts arise, issues from the past might resurface, which can damage relationships. And if the parents know that their family member is aging or has limited free time, they might feel guilty about asking for their babysitting services.
Then, of course, there’s the issue of payment. Not everyone agrees on whether or not family members should be compensated for babysitting. On one hand, they might be happy to spend time with the children in their family and build a relationship with them. On the other hand, however, if it’s a huge time commitment or preventing them from working more hours at their actual job, it might justify earning a paycheck.
According to Scary Mommy, it’s polite for parents to at least offer up payment, and if their family member declines, that’s okay too. But if the babysitter is incurring costs by watching the kids or commuting, does childcare for a living or has declined another opportunity to take care of the kids, it’s a good idea to compensate them.
And if they won’t accept cash, you might be able to gift them a day at a spa, a gift card to their favorite restaurant, or anything else that says “Thank you.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below, pandas. How would you have responded if you were in this woman’s shoes? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar drama right here!
Readers weighed in with their thoughts, and the author chimed in one last time
