Every parent has expectations for their children. Perhaps they’ve always dreamed of their little ones playing their favorite sport or attending their alma mater. But every child is an individual who deserves to live the life that makes them happiest. And sometimes, that includes coming to terms with the fact that they no longer identify with the gender label that their parents and society have placed on them.
One father who was clearly in denial about his son being trans attended an event for trans youth. But instead of keeping an open mind, he ended up getting kicked out due to his prejudices. Below, you’ll find the full story that was shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
It can be difficult for parents of trans youth to understand what their child is going through
But this transphobic father refused to have an open mind at all, and it ended up getting him kicked out of an event
2.8 million people over the age of 13 in the United States identify as transgender
Part of being a parent is loving your children unconditionally. You may not always agree with their choices, but as long as they’re not hurting themselves or anyone else, they deserve the support of Mom and Dad. So it can be especially devastating when a child has the courage to come out as transgender, and their parents refuse to accept them.
According to the Williams Institute at UCLA, about 2.8 million people over the age of 13 identify as transgender in the United States. And over 25% of those who identify as trans are between the ages of 13 and 17.
While it’s certainly best for everyone to live their truth and be able to proudly express their gender identity, it can still be extremely difficult for trans people to come out. Talkspace explains that this is because coming out is often a process.
First, the individual has to accept themself and come to terms with the fact that they have been assigned the wrong gender. They then have to start informing people in their life, which can be terrifying when you don’t know how they’ll respond. From there, a person can focus on positive self-identification, acceptance, and integration of their true gender.
It can be a massive change, so it’s crucial that trans individuals have support as they’re going through this journey. Sadly, they may not always get the response that they’re hoping for from loved ones.
According to US Trans Survey, 12% of trans adults say that their family was “unsupportive” or “very unsupportive” when they came out. However, when it comes to 16-year-old and 17-year-old respondents, nearly 30% said that their families were unsupportive.
Meanwhile, Just Like Us reports that nearly half of all LGBT+ adults in the UK are estranged from at least one family member. And compared to other members of the LGBT+ community, trans and non-binary adults are the least confident that their families will accept them for who they are.
Nobody can make another person transgender
It can understandably be difficult for parents when their children share shocking news with them. If they had no idea that their child is trans, they might be confused or overwhelmed at first. But the reality is that just like sexuality is not a choice, being trans isn’t either. So being in denial about it will only make the situation more painful for everyone involved.
The American Psychological Association explains that a person can come to terms with their transgender identity at any age, but they often will experience feelings of “not fitting in” with people of their assigned gender from a young age. They also typically experience dissatisfaction with their body and with trying to live as their assigned gender.
But it’s important to note that the APA says that being transgender is not a mental disorder. There are many obstacles that may come along with being trans that may cause a person to experience anxiety or depression, but this usually does not come from their experience of gender itself. It may, however, stem from not being accepted by family members and loved ones, for example.
Contrary to what the father in this story believes, it’s not possible to make another person trans or to “change them back” to their assigned gender at birth. What his transgender son really needs is support and love from the people in his life.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have reacted if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, if you’re interested in checking out another article from Bored Panda discussing similar themes, look no further than right here.
The vast majority of readers left supportive messages for the author, and they joined in on the conversation in the comments
However, a small minority took the father's side
