“I’m A Parent, So I Have To Save Money. Now Swap Seats”: Entitled Mother Left Fuming After Man Who Paid Extra For Their Plane Seat Refuses To Move

Being a parent usually means having the child’s best interests at heart. However, that shouldn’t be an excuse to treat others unfairly or expect certain special treatment yourself.

Be that as it may, some parents do have a heightened sense of entitlement. Like this woman the redditor u/joonsson met on a plane, for instance. The user told the ‘Entitled Parents’ community that the mother wanted to sit with her son, even though she didn’t pay for adjacent seats. She expected the passenger to give up his and caused a scene when he didn’t.

Image source: joonsson

The mother in the redditor’s story believed she was entitled to sit with her child, even though she didn’t take action beforehand to ensure it. Airlines typically allow people to choose a preferred seat for an additional fee, which the woman didn’t do, as she said she was a parent and needed to save money. According to Verywell Mind, entitled people typically feel like they deserve special treatment, like their personal needs mean more than those of others, which was reflected in the actions of the irritated parent on the plane. They also often play the victim card or cause a huge scene when things don’t go their way.

But why is such a sense stronger with some people than it is with others? The Society for Personality and Social Psychology pointed out that there can be numerous sources for one’s sense of entitlement, such as influence of parents and other authority figures, or the media, for instance. No matter the reason, having to deal with entitled people can negatively affect a person’s well-being. According to the aforementioned society, people with a pervasive sense of deservedness tend to act dishonestly and selfishly, and create conflict; they are also less likely to apologize for their mistakes or follow instructions.

The Society for Personality and Social Psychology also suggested that people with a sense of entitlement face certain problems related to it themselves. For example, they might often feel like they’re being mistreated, which leads to difficulties forming relationships, or have unmet expectations that can cause psychological distress. Psych Central pointed out that the latter leads to a vicious cycle. Researchers have found that such a cycle of distress consists of three stages: entitlement creating a vulnerability to unmet expectations, unmet expectations leading to dissatisfaction and other volatile emotions, and emotional distress demanding a remedy, which reinforces the feeling of superiority.

In an article for Psychology Today, licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist and psychoanalyst F. Diane Barth suggested that entitlement to some extent can be a healthy expectation. For instance, children thinking they’re the center of someone’s world is a normal part of their psychological development. “It is part of how a child views the world in the early stages of cognitive and emotional development,” the expert says.

However, it is important for parents to create the right balance between children feeling important and having self-respect and them respecting others. Or as the expert F. Diane Barth puts it—showing all princesses or superheroes that even the most special of people have to take others into consideration as well.

The psychotherapist and psychoanalyst emphasized that a certain amount of entitlement is important for adults as well; feeling entitled to a reasonable level of respect from others and the right not to be mistreated by them is important to people’s psychological well-being. However, when such levels are surpassed and the person is consumed by a feeling of constant deservedness for special treatment, that’s when it becomes a problem.

The woman’s actions in the plane—demanding that the passenger gives up something that was rightfully his—didn’t seem to be based on valid reasoning, which implies they were evoked by her sense of entitlement. Be that as it may, the OP saw another possible reason for her behavior, which he pointed out in the comments section—it might have been extra legroom she was going after.