ParentingOCT 11, 2023

Guy Refuses To Pretend He's Gonna Kidnap A Child, Entitled Mother Furious

A trip to the zoo can be exciting for anyone, regardless of their age. How often do you get to see zebras, elephants and giraffes in person? It can feel like you're at the center of a nature documentary! But apparently, if we’re too excited, our moms might just threaten to have us taken away…

Below, you’ll find a story that was recently shared on the Entitled Parents subreddit, detailing how a mother decided that the best way to get her kid to settle down was to simply scare her, as well as conversations with the post's OP and Pamela Li of Parenting for Brain.

Visitors to the zoo can expect to encounter many overly excited children

Image credits: Daiga Ellaby (not the actual photo)

But this woman was shocked by the tactic one mother employed to try to get her daughter to behave

Image credits: Annie Spratt (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ceeyoulater99

"It probably traumatized the kid, and I know my boyfriend was offended by it"

We reached out to the woman who shared this story online, Reddit user Ceeyoulater99, and she was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about why she was inspired to share this post. "I wanted to know if other people agreed with me that it was wrong of her to do that and know other peoples thoughts on the subject," she explained.

As far as why the mother may have threatened her child, the OP says, "I think she probably did it because she was embarrassed by the crying and thought it would be a good way to get the kid to stop. However, it probably traumatized the kid, and I know my boyfriend was offended by it." She added that the little girl in this story didn’t have much of a reaction to her mother’s threat. “She just stopped crying and clung to the woman’s leg.”

Ceeyoulater99 also shared that she was surprised by the responses to her post. “I thought people would have been more supportive of the mother, rather than me,” she noted. “So I’m glad there are others that agree with me.” But the OP does find the fact that there were so many similar stories worrying.

Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)

Threats may seem like an effective way to get kids to behave, but they can do more harm than good

We also reached out to parenting expert and founder of Parenting for Brain, Pamela Li, MS, MBA to hear why parents sometimes resort to threats to get their children to behave. "They believe it's a quick way to gain compliance," Pamela explained. "The immediate shock or fear can sometimes bring about the desired behavior. However, this approach is often a sign of parental frustration or desperation rather than a well-thought-out discipline strategy."

While these threats might sometimes result in immediate compliance, the expert says they're not an effective long-term strategy for behavior management. "Parents should be the people kids can always count on to feel safe and loved," Pamela noted. "When parents use threats or scare tactics, it shakes up this feeling of safety. Kids can become anxious and start to doubt whether they can really trust their parents to look out for them. This break in trust can stick around, affecting how kids connect with their parents and others as they grow up."

Using threats also doesn't teach kids how to behave better, Pamela says. "Instead of learning why something is wrong and how to make good choices, they just learn to dodge getting in trouble," she told Bored Panda. "This leaves them unprepared for dealing with life's ups and downs on their own, both now and later in life."

As far as how parents can guide their children's behavior without using threats, Pamela points out that the key is to figure out the root cause of their actions, so you can offer better ways for them to express themselves. "For instance, if a child is screaming out of excitement at the zoo, teach them how to channel that enthusiasm through words, facial expressions, or quiet internal joy," the expert explained.

"By taking the time to dig deeper and address the underlying cause, you're not just stopping the unwanted behavior—you're teaching valuable life skills"

Image credits: Caleb Woods (not the actual photo)

"Kids often yell or scream when they're thrilled because they haven't learned other ways to show their feelings yet. By teaching them alternatives and explaining why these are better—like not frightening the animals or disrupting other visitors—you're helping them understand how their actions impact the world around them," Pamela noted.

A child may also be screaming for different reasons, such as feeling anxious, nervous, or scared, then address those specific emotional needs. They might need reassurance, a moment to breathe, or a quieter setting to feel more at ease.

"Simply punishing a behavior without understanding why it's happening is usually not effective for the long haul," Pamela shared. "It might stop the action temporarily, but it doesn't teach the child how to handle similar situations in the future. By taking the time to dig deeper and address the underlying cause, you're not just stopping the unwanted behavior—you're teaching valuable life skills."

"Being patient and consistent not only helps children learn important life skills but also strengthens the trust and bond between parent and child"

According to Pamela, discipline strategies should be geared towards teaching, not punishing. "The goal is to help children become self-regulating individuals who understand the value of good behavior, rather than fearing the consequences of bad behavior," she explained.

But Pamela sympathizes with parents who become overwhelmed and frustrated. "Many are juggling work, home life, and countless other responsibilities, all while grappling with the challenge of handling repetitive misbehavior from their children," she told Bored Panda. "Teaching kids the right way to act takes time, patience, and a lot of repetition. Just as toddlers stumble many times before they can walk confidently, or as children repeatedly practice writing letters before mastering them, learning behavior is a process that can't be rushed."

"It's easy to think that telling a child something once should be enough and then feel frustrated when they don't 'get it' immediately. However, kids need time and repetition to learn new behaviors and unlearn old ones," Pamela continued. "While it can be tiring and parenting is undoubtedly challenging, investing the time and patience to teach your children properly pays off in many ways."

"Being patient and consistent not only helps children learn important life skills but also strengthens the trust and bond between parent and child," the expert shared. "In the end, the extra effort and time spent are more than worth it for the long-term well-being and relationship with your child."

If you'd like to hear more wise words from Pamela about parenting, be sure to visit Parenting for Brain. And then if you’re interested in reading another article from Bored Panda discussing entitled parents, look no further than right here!