You might love your family, but you might struggle with the fact that they are only rarely genuinely good people. Their envy, selfishness, and sense of entitlement can get so out of hand that they are literally making children cry to guilt-trip you. Their kids, to be clear. And it is up to you not to just set your boundaries, but to hold the line against their over-the-top narcissism.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the plot of a stressful and awkward TV drama. This is what happened to u/CupcakeCommercial666, who won a vacation and decided to take her friend and her kids over her own problematic sister and her children. Upon finding out that she didn’t get to go on the trip, the sister went nuclear, threw a fit, and made her own kids cry to guilt-trip everyone around her.
Over-the-top entitlement, envy, narcissism, and selfishness all in one person is too much to handle, even for family members
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman spilled the tea about how her sister, furious about not being invited on vacation, made her own kids cry to guilt-trip her
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: splitov27 / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: CupcakeCommercial666
Not all narcissists are alike. Vulnerable narcissists are much more covert and subtle than their grandiose counterparts
It is very likely that you know at least one narcissist. Narcissistic personality disorder affects around one in 20 people, after all. However, this is just an estimate. It is quite likely that the real number is far higher, according to Claire Hart, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Southampton.
The reality is that individuals with delusions of grandeur are unlikely to admit that they have a problem. What’s more, they are very reluctant to seek help. So, it is difficult to diagnose them.
In other words, there might be plenty of arrogant, unempathetic, easily insulted narcissists running around, spreading their entitlement and false sense of superiority, and making you miserable by constantly putting their needs above yours.
However, not all narcissists are alike! To be clear, not all narcissists are loud and brash. Researchers have identified ‘vulnerable’ narcissists, too, and they are much more subtle, secretive, and covert. This type of narcissism revolves around insecurity, defensiveness, minimizing failure, and trying to protect one’s self-image.
“The vulnerable narcissist tends to be very brittle and can’t take criticism,” Hart tells BBC Science Focus. These narcissists are more anxious and depressed than their more gregarious counterparts.
Image credits: kroshka__nastya / Magnific (not the actual photo)
You need to reevaluate your relationship if you're dealing with someone who constantly feels threatened and overreacts to everything you do
And yet, both vulnerable and grandiose narcissists are driven by a desire for social status. The distinction is that the former, vulnerable narcissists, have not received the status that they so crave. This type of narcissism pushes people to avoid competing if they know they won’t succeed. “This can lead to heightened stress and greater feelings of shame,” Hart notes.
Vulnerable narcissists typically don’t feel as included in social groups as they would like to be, while grandiose narcissists don’t particularly care about inclusion. That being said, both types of individuals with narcissistic personality disorder feel superior, entitled, and enjoy fantasizing about their success, power, and beauty.
When these fantasies become threatened, vulnerable narcissists tend to react with fury, vengeance, and passive-aggression on their minds. “You don’t know when they’re going to blow,” the associate professor warns.
“Sometimes we need to point out what we like or don’t like in a healthy relationship. And if you can’t do that because the other person feels constantly threatened – overreacting and becoming aggressive – relationship difficulties will arise,” adds Nadja Heym, an associate professor of personality psychology at Nottingham Trent University.
Have you ever been in a situation where a relative, friend, or coworker gets upset over your success or because you didn’t invite them on a vacation they would have loved to go on? Who is the most entitled, narcissistic person in your life, and how do you deal with them? How would you handle someone throwing a fit and guilt-tripping you for having healthy boundaries? Share your insights with all the other Pandas in the comments.
The story started going viral, and the author shared more spicy details in the comments
The story shocked many people online. Here's their take on the family drama
